• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Why are people never what they seem?

I had an online friend for a year who was supportive but when people on the internet gang up on me she turns sgainst me too saying it's me. She's lovely when it's just me n her but the last time she did that to i overheard her so to speak saying things about me like I guilt trip her into being her friend, how she was vulnerable n was abandoned by her family due to her addictions n she put up with me because i guilted her.
All of those people who had been abusing me were telling her to cut all contact with me as I wasn't helping her recovery. I was completed dumbfounded n distraught. The day before she was slagging off these people saying that they were bullies n drove me to take lots of tablets n how she was angry n wasn't going to take it from them. I could not believe what i saw her say to them. We'd met in real life i thought she was a friend. I thought she cared.
She then said she was only pretending to not speak to me in that place to get me away from there as she couldn't stand me being abused. I think it was more like she didnt want them going at her for associating with me. She said herself that she did not think these people would go at her.
I stupidly sent lots of texts becausr I could not understand why n felt so hurt n betrayed. She was the one person i thought I could eely on.
Today I cut contact with her. I discussed everything with my therapist n keyworker n they agree that I don't need someone that that in my life. She's unhealthy for me. Friends don't dump a friend when they are being bullied especially when they have claimed to have been bullied themselves. Also I want friends who want me as a friend cause they like me not because I'm guilty. I also wonder why she follows me to every forum that I go to n readsmy stuff. I have deleted her E-mail n phone number n the best thing I can do is move forward. Concentrate on my recovery n getting better. I am deeply hurt n distraught at having to do this as i thought we'd always be friends n look back in recovery as a distant memory.

Thank you everyone for such lovely, kind word n for taking the time to reply to me n for not judging me or giving me 'tough love,'. It truly means a lot. I honestly did not expect this amount of replies n I truly appreciate every one of them

Take care,
Evey xxx

ComfortablyNumb95 said:
people wear "masks".
they change mask to adapt it to the people they have around
so, if in a situation a person behaves in a certain way, he/she will behave differently in another situation which requires a different "mask"
people are almost never who they really are even to themselves
so, as stated above, when a person is a stranger to you, or "a guy I've talked to once" he/she will behave in a way, then when he/she becomes your friend he/she will very likely change behavior to adapt it to the his/her new status
Click to expand...

My friend, Lewis, used to say this too. I have a Psychology degree n I WILL never understand people. Thank you :)

PS sorry i tried editing but it keeps going funny. I wrote a paragraph but its gone n now my post has come out twice. Help!!!
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Evey,

Please do not double post. I merged your 2 posts to form one, it makes for easier reading/cleaner page layout. If you'd like to add something to a post you've just made, please use the "edit" function.

You can also use the "multi quote" feature if you're replying to more than 1 user.

Thanks :)

PS sorry i tried editing but it keeps going funny. I wrote a paragraph but its gone n now my post has come out twice. Help!!!
Click to expand...

No worries, you're still new here and figuring out how the site works :) I suggest posting over in Support if you're not able to find an answer in the Greenlighter's Guide. I'm sure the moderators and admins over there would be more than happy to help, they're more experienced in the "technical" aspects of BL than me ;)
 
Last edited:
See I guess lots of people have been in this boat and understand how it feels. I had a bestie that I worked with for years, we were so close and shared everything. Our kids grew up from babies together. We sorta fell out because of my drugs usage. Once I got clean she seemed receptive to my email, but never called me back and that hurt. I cannot blame her but for some reason, thought she would understand.

Seems like some people come into your life for a purpose, but we don't know the reasons why. Same thing could be said about boyfriends when I think about it. You get on great with people and feel so comfortable then things just fizzle. I have to remind myself not to overthink these type of situations because I want to say "What did I do that was so bad? or Why did you treat me like that?"

I really believe most people don't intend to be hurtful. They are just looking out for themselves, which is not a bad thing. If I had an internet friend that dirted me like that, I wouldn't hesitate to cut them off and never look back. You know that saying "it's a small world" but it's not that small really. You can make new friends and try to forget the ones who hurt you.
 
Are you reducing on the subs? Sounds like you are going through the standard emotional periods people go through when they are dropping on a script or wd'ing.
 
No not reduced yet. I'm on 8mg x

T. Calderone said:
See I guess lots of people have been in this boat and understand how it feels. I had a bestie that I worked with for years, we were so close and shared everything. Our kids grew up from babies together. We sorta fell out because of my drugs usage. Once I got clean she seemed receptive to my email, but never called me back and that hurt. I cannot blame her but for some reason, thought she would understand.

Seems like some people come into your life for a purpose, but we don't know the reasons why. Same thing could be said about boyfriends when I think about it. You get on great with people and feel so comfortable then things just fizzle. I have to remind myself not to overthink these type of situations because I want to say "What did I do that was so bad? or Why did you treat me like that?"

I really believe most people don't intend to be hurtful. They are just looking out for themselves, which is not a bad thing. If I had an internet friend that dirted me like that, I wouldn't hesitate to cut them off and never look back. You know that saying "it's a small world" but it's not that small really. You can make new friends and try to forget the ones who hurt you.
Click to expand...

Hiya - I'm sorry that you lost your best friend. I have contact with this person but she's E-mailed me saying she's reading my posts at bluelight. I came to bluelight for a fresh start n I don't need her following me n ruining things for me again y'know. I know she won't respect my feelings n if she sees me arguing here with people she 'll post n humiliate me like she's done in other forums. I'm fed up of her game playing im trying to recover n she's the same age as my parents so really should know better. She met me in real life one day n the next day, turned on me over another forum

Take care
Evey xxx

Sorry for double posting. Im partially sighted so it takes a bit longer to work things out x
 
Last edited:
Don't worry about it Evele, everyone gets a clean slate on Bluelight, regardless of their past. If someone starts harassing you here they'll have to deal with the consequences of breaking our rules.

Some people are just like that though, and will have no real reasoning behind what they do. The only thing you can do is to get them out of your life and move on. It's a very sadistic thing to use another human as your 'plaything'.
 
Eveleivibe said:
I just want to be liked n not be rejected but these people have really hurt me alot. I ended up relapsing with codeine had two packets of nurofin plus with the intention of ending it all. Couldn't eat n now I feel back to empty n flat with this kind of anxious feeling.
Click to expand...

I'm not sure how I missed this, but this is not good or "normal". And I use that word sparingly. But the fact that you would consider ending it all over what some people on the internet thought of you throws up some major red flags to me. I mean, there's cool people on the internet and there's also jerks just like in real life. The only difference is that the jerks don't face the same accountability on the internet as real life, and there's also a good chance that they're merely trolls, or just miserable people in general and putting you down because of their own insecurities. I'm just concerned that you would take things so seriously and that you don't have a healthy association with the internet. And I don't ask this to be an asshole, but because I do care... What kind of underlying issues do you have? (I myself am bipolar.)What do you do in your day to day life off the internet? I'm one to talk, but maybe you would benefit from some time offline just doing something that you enjoy? Just my 2 cents.
 
Hiya Nutty,

I feel guilty about what I did n I know what what you are saying is logical n that how I acted was irrational. Deep down I just wanted it all to do n these people were messing with
Me big time. I've low self esteem n to have 20+ people messing with me, emptying ignore lists, changing pics of me to a penis n then really rippin me. Then a few days later a really good friend of a year who i had met in real life also joined in because when she defended me they ganged up on her so she started bitching too. They were telling her to cut me out n she was all really to do it just to be liked by people on the net. Hurt me a lot n she still does not see which it hurt me.
 
wow, that's pretty immature of that person! You have a right to have support.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Black Rabbit of Inlè said:
Don't worry about it Evele, everyone gets a clean slate on Bluelight, regardless of their past. If someone starts harassing you here they'll have to deal with the consequences of breaking our rules.

Some people are just like that though, and will have no real reasoning behind what they do. The only thing you can do is to get them out of your life and move on. It's a very sadistic thing to use another human as your 'plaything'.
Click to expand...

^This

Also to, some people are doing this as their defense mechanism, hiding something that they don't want other people to know, regarding their past and something that happened that made them who they are. It's really tough to know but regardless of the reasons behind it, just try to understand them that they might be or might have gone through some very bad times in their lives.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top