Hi, I'm 23 and female, and I've been having orgasms for 9 years now. My question is this: why are they so short lasting ? They last on average, about 3 or 4 seconds I'm thinking. Oftentimes my boyfriends orgasms seem to last longer than mine, what gives ? I had a g spot orgasm when I was 15 that seemed to last aeons, like at least a minute but it felt so good I can't really tell. Needless to say I've been chasing this feeling for about 7 or 8 years now.... I have managed to acheive a couple vaginal orgasms lately, but they weren't g spot orgasms and these too, were short lived. I've tried to google this question and it seems like I'm the only woman in the world with this issue, and everyone else is enjoying on average 15 to 30 seconds of bliss compared to my piddly 4. What's worse is that most guys are having more enjoyment than I am at the time of climax... don't get me wrong. Some orgasms feel amazing, others are so weak they're hardly there. But what gives ? I'd really appreciate advice from anyone, esp some ladies who have "overcame their short comings" pun intended, haha
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SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
why are my orgasms so short lasting?
- Thread starter venus_
- Start date
Interesting complaint...
My first question is always about birth control.
I presume you have not been on it all this time, but if so, if must be eliminated.
Any hormonal influence that turns off ovulation interferes with brain chemistry, especially the endocrine system. Lack of sex drive/orgasm is a common complaint with some of the heavier hormonal forms, like depo.
Women on birth control do not even have periods...
It is 'withdrawal' bleeding. Nature intends for you to ovulate and bleed on a regular basis.
Interfering with this is not only foolish, but is bad medicine in my opinion.
I'm a guy, but my wife and I have tried just about every type of BC out there.
After learning just how wrong hormonal BC is, we ended up with a copper IUD.
The Paragard is the only one available in the USA - but copper IUDs are the most widely used BC in the entire world. They have no influence on hormones, so ovulation definitely occurs.
No matter what your dysfunction is, having sex during ovulation (about a week after the end of your period) is bound to offer you an improvement of some kind.
Copper is very effective, more so than the fucking pill.
It prevents fertilization by disabling sperm motility and the sperm's ability to penetrate the egg.
It also causes a mild inflammatory response in the uterus causing implantation of a fertilized egg to be impossible. But fertilization itself is considered highly unlikely.
The copper IUD is the holy grail of BC, in my male opinion.
Orgasmic dysfunction is also common with use of anti-depressants or stimulant addiction.
Are you using any prescription or illegal drugs?
Even lighter drugs can cause problems in some people.
If birth control, medication, and drugs can be eliminated as causes, most doctors would focus on psychology at that point. If this is the cause, it is buried quite deeply and is not something you can discover on bluelight. If you aren't completely into your partner, this can cause a problem for sure. Sexual abuse in your past? Simply internalizing stress is a major factor...
Question - have you experienced improvements while on certain drugs?
Many stimulants that cause sexual dysfunction, including e, can actually cause huge improvements in the short-term. Most top porn actresses use it, or meth.
If you have managed to have powerful orgasms while under the influence, this rules out physical problems. But not chemical ones.
The only other approach I have heard about is long-term abstinence.
Abstaining from all sex/masturbation/porn can cause an increase in the dopamine receptors in your reward circuitry. The accounts I have heard of require six to twelve weeks for an effect!
Good luck with that one.
My orgasms?
Um, when I was younger they were fairly short like yours.
5 seconds was about it, but very very intense.
There were after-effects for maybe another few seconds.
Now I'm im 28 and I must say, they have gotten WAAAAAY longer.
My orgasms are slightly less intense, but the increase in length more than makes up for it.
They are at least 10 seconds, sometimes 20-30!
I suppose this is a result of age and practice.
Maybe that is what you need.
How often do you practice? It definitely made a difference for me, but it took years of fucking.
Does your guy go down on you? With skill?
And fingering? Anything there?
Sorry for all the questions, but I want to help.
Let me know.
My first question is always about birth control.
I presume you have not been on it all this time, but if so, if must be eliminated.
Any hormonal influence that turns off ovulation interferes with brain chemistry, especially the endocrine system. Lack of sex drive/orgasm is a common complaint with some of the heavier hormonal forms, like depo.
Women on birth control do not even have periods...
It is 'withdrawal' bleeding. Nature intends for you to ovulate and bleed on a regular basis.
Interfering with this is not only foolish, but is bad medicine in my opinion.
I'm a guy, but my wife and I have tried just about every type of BC out there.
After learning just how wrong hormonal BC is, we ended up with a copper IUD.
The Paragard is the only one available in the USA - but copper IUDs are the most widely used BC in the entire world. They have no influence on hormones, so ovulation definitely occurs.
No matter what your dysfunction is, having sex during ovulation (about a week after the end of your period) is bound to offer you an improvement of some kind.
Copper is very effective, more so than the fucking pill.
It prevents fertilization by disabling sperm motility and the sperm's ability to penetrate the egg.
It also causes a mild inflammatory response in the uterus causing implantation of a fertilized egg to be impossible. But fertilization itself is considered highly unlikely.
The copper IUD is the holy grail of BC, in my male opinion.
Orgasmic dysfunction is also common with use of anti-depressants or stimulant addiction.
Are you using any prescription or illegal drugs?
Even lighter drugs can cause problems in some people.
If birth control, medication, and drugs can be eliminated as causes, most doctors would focus on psychology at that point. If this is the cause, it is buried quite deeply and is not something you can discover on bluelight. If you aren't completely into your partner, this can cause a problem for sure. Sexual abuse in your past? Simply internalizing stress is a major factor...
Question - have you experienced improvements while on certain drugs?
Many stimulants that cause sexual dysfunction, including e, can actually cause huge improvements in the short-term. Most top porn actresses use it, or meth.
If you have managed to have powerful orgasms while under the influence, this rules out physical problems. But not chemical ones.
The only other approach I have heard about is long-term abstinence.
Abstaining from all sex/masturbation/porn can cause an increase in the dopamine receptors in your reward circuitry. The accounts I have heard of require six to twelve weeks for an effect!
Good luck with that one.
My orgasms?
Um, when I was younger they were fairly short like yours.
5 seconds was about it, but very very intense.
There were after-effects for maybe another few seconds.
Now I'm im 28 and I must say, they have gotten WAAAAAY longer.
My orgasms are slightly less intense, but the increase in length more than makes up for it.
They are at least 10 seconds, sometimes 20-30!
I suppose this is a result of age and practice.
Maybe that is what you need.
How often do you practice? It definitely made a difference for me, but it took years of fucking.
Does your guy go down on you? With skill?
And fingering? Anything there?
Sorry for all the questions, but I want to help.
Let me know.
Seattle_Stranger
Bluelighter
Orgasms are supposed to last that long? Usually it's about 4-5 seconds of awesome for me, then it's gone. My girlfriend's seems to last a bit longer than mine, but still I wouldn't say more than 10ish seconds, if that.
Unless you're not just talking about the intense part? I normally can feel a 'buzz' of sorts after finishing up, but that's simply the "I just had sex" feeling.
Unless you're not just talking about the intense part? I normally can feel a 'buzz' of sorts after finishing up, but that's simply the "I just had sex" feeling.
Yeah a man can orgasm for a longer time than us girls I think hahah. When I do orgasm I will for 5 sec on average... so like you guys. Once in a while maybe every two or three months I'll get it up to 15-20 sec... and sometimes that is TOO MUCHFOR ME ohmygooshhhits like massive hah.
They are supposed to last that long though.
They are supposed to last that long though.
blackskirt
Bluelighter
22 y/old here, not on birth control. Longer orgasms are uncommon for me as well; if I'm really turned on and have been teasing myself slowly for an hour or so then the intense feeling/twitching would last 20+ seconds, but for the most part when I come it's under eight seconds on average.
nowdubnvr6
Bluelighter
I just wish as a guy i could have multiple like you girls. Its bullshit. And mine usually last 7-8 sec max.
You guys can it is just hard. my ex kind of hand a multi so many times before
Unbreakable
Bluelighter
Masturbate till the point of almost cumming than stop, restart playing with yourself until your about to orgasm, Repeat a couple times and than release... The longer you fight that feeling of release the longer it lasts....
Worked wonders on a decent amount of girls, no complaints
Worked wonders on a decent amount of girls, no complaints