Why are drugs no longer doing anything?

[its.euphoric]

I have been on here for years unable to post because all my IP addresses were always blocked. Made no fucking sense. Now I get on a few days ago after the first try in probably 6 months and it lets me. So now I get to serve my prison term, as if reading posts on here for years without being able to voice my druggy opinion and dick size wasn't enough!

Drugs continue to do something when you aren't getting high, they prevent withdrawals. Stop doing all of them and you will believe me. Taper off whatever you are on, take a break, get some SSRI's or Benzo's (Klonopin for a month at max), work out, get some rest. Your brain will thank you and you will feel better if you allow yourself to.

In my opinion you are so deep into believing that you have some sort of tropical illness or gangrene of the brain that your whole salvatioin relies on you being able to convince yourself the actual truth, which is that you are not crazy or dying, but are rather a depressed drug addict that is unhappy because he cannot do more than the amount of drugs needed to just stop withdrawals.

Look.. I'm not a crazy drug addict. Honestly the last drug I had was like a shot of vodka a week ago. And before that, I smoked a tiny bit a weed the week before. I barely even do drugs.

Nothing changes though... When I wake up in the morning it's like my brain is so tired from dreaming that trying to do stuff is seriously exhausting. It takes a while after I wake up to start feeling semi normal.
And another thing... is that I'm not "into deep". When I thought that I had this for real it barely affected me. You know why, because nothing affects me anymore. I can't help it. I have no emotions. They're gone. It feels like the part of me of who I am has left me. I know that doesn't make sense but for me it does.
If someone told me I was gonna die in an hour I would think... ok. If someone told me I won a million dollars it would still be the same. I can't help but not be affected. Even though deep within me, I know I do care. I care a lot about stuff. But somehow I am unchanged by anything that happens to me.

 

[motiv311]

so how did that conversation go?

"dad i think there is something wrong with me, drugs arent working anymore"

"oh no son that is not good we better get you checked by a doctor so taht you can enjoy drugs again"

HAHA! great!

 

[its.euphoric]

@seep -

That is an incredible story. Amazing.

@ the OP -

You're 19 correct? You are a legal adult now. Your father cannot see your medical records. (I'm assuming you live in the US.)

Everything you described, particularly the blunted feeling and excessive sleep, is symptomatic of depression. That's completely understandable as well if you believe you may have Huntington's - truly a terrible disease.

So my advice is simple:

Save, scrimp, and sell whatever you have to so you can make the co-pay and go get tested for Huntington's on your own. Your dad doesn't have to know you went to get tested.

If you have the disease, then you can begin psychotherapy with a clear agenda. Shit, maybe it would be liberating just to know what is going on with you and begin working on disease management.

but even better...

If you test negative, I'm sure you will react just like Woody Allen in Hannah and Her Sisters or whatever movie it was where he thought he had a brain tumor - you'll be skipping and running and screaming and jumping and probably feel higher than if you did any drug you've come across before.

No matter what happens, good luck.

yes.. I could go test for myself I guess.
thanks for writing

 

[forensic bob]

Ok... I don't really abuse drugs, I mean, I drink sometimes, I smoked occasionally, I tried ecstasy a few times... and of course weed but just rarely.
And some other stuff but not very often.

Anyways... I noticed that alcohol doesn't even make me feel euphoric anymore.
And I noticed too that the last time I drank cough syrup was way less strong... I also felt like my whole self wasn't there... like dancing to the music was just like, my mind was out of it.

It use to be that life was just boring and drugs were there to make it fun.... but recently it's like drugs don't even do anything. I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with me and my dad is gonna be taking me to a doctor but I'm just wondering what people might be thinking could be going wrong.

I'm thinking like something is wrong with my dopamine levels or something. Because I don't get pleasure in hardly anything... and idk

It could be caused by chemical inbalances;nevertheless, you cmight simply have been desensitized to the effects of drugs.

For example, when i got halo 3, life was great. Playing for damn near 5 hours a day, none of life's hardships could bring me down. A month later,however, after excessive xbox abuse, the thought of that invisible vedic monk chanting on his welcome screen made me sick and I would rather clean my room than kill a hoard of covenant.

Did Halo 3 forever change my dopamine receptors, making me different from the human I once was, or did I just become desensitized (bored) to the effects of Master Chief....

the world will never know