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Why am i so incompetent?

G

gman7104

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 8, 2009
Messages
340
Im a 19 year old male. I just got fired from my job today. worked there for 2 days, manager says im unable to do the tasks which are extremely simple (putting sauce and cheese on fucking pizzas) I got fired from my last job as well. I for some reason am so slow to learn things and I feel like im dumb but I know im not.

I never fit in with anybody. I have good looks, but completely lack social skills. Im still a virgin. Yes, I could have fucked nasty ugly hoes but chose not to. I have confidence sometimes (sometimes I completely lack it), but everything I say apparently sounds weird or unattractive to others. Other people make it look so easy, I don't understand what I lack.

Girls like me, but as soon as we talk, it goes nowhere. I don't get it. Ive seen the dumbest, ugliest people have girls but not me? I really don't get it and ive tried my whole life to be "normal" but apparently im just not.



I don't do many drugs anymore. I smoke pot and cigarettes and VERY rarely use other drugs. I originally assumed the drugs made me dumb but now I don't know. It would be nice to know that someone can at least relate
 
Hi gman I'm sorry to hear what you've been going through. I would just like to let you know that I got fired fromjobs as well before. I just cant work in fast food businesses (too clumsy). Perhaps you should choose a different kind if field like an office/sales job of some sort. It tookme some time to find a job/career that suited me. I would just like to ask are you in school? Education helped me a lot in finding the career and developing the skills. There's no such thing as incompetence, its finding the right thing for you. Regarding the ladies, how do you talk to them? For me it would be such a turn off if the guy seemed desparate or you are opening some details right away. I think its best to observe and listen well to the girl. Dont make it look like you are desparate to get her.
 
Maya said:
Hi gman I'm sorry to hear what you've been going through. I would just like to let you know that I got fired fromjobs as well before. I just cant work in fast food businesses (too clumsy). Perhaps you should choose a different kind if field like an office/sales job of some sort. It tookme some time to find a job/career that suited me. I would just like to ask are you in school? Education helped me a lot in finding the career and developing the skills. There's no such thing as incompetence, its finding the right thing for you. Regarding the ladies, how do you talk to them? For me it would be such a turn off if the guy seemed desparate or you are opening some details right away. I think its best to observe and listen well to the girl. Dont make it look like you are desparate to get her.
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Thanks for the advice. After thinking about it I completely agree, I think I just need a different field of work. Probably something that involves manual labor, im very strong but like you said, im clumsy and not able to do things rapidly with accuracy.

It's not that I act desperate, im not sure what it is exactly but it's more like I have a hard time showing a girl interest, for some reason. It's like i either talk like im uninterested or clearly show that imdesperate or unexperienced. Ive always had trouble with social skills, im assuming I have a mild form of aspergers or something. I have a little social anxiety as well, but I still sound different to other people even when im drunk or rolling (where my anxiety is completely diminished and I can talk to any random person)
 
I think you should just act normal and relax just be yourself. If you find a common interest with the girl then maybe that's a good way to start? I mean you can't really force it if you and the girl have nothing in common right? I'm not entirely sure how you normally talk but maybe a little observation around guys on how they talk should give you a way to change your speech manners.
 
I'm just going to not read anybody else's post.

I believe that I've been in your situation before. Maybe not to the same extent, but I think I understand what you're talking about. I think that you are just lacking confidence. I don't think many people liked me very much before I turned 21. My social confidence bloomed out of the desire to get drunk. I want to get drunk, and I want to go to a bar to do it. If I'm at a bar, I want to be a good socialite patron. So I'd just start talking to people. Eventually you'll learn things to talk about that everybody ( at least in that scene ) likes. Here's a hint: Most young people like to show off their knowledge and experience with craft beers. Pick a style of music that you like, and start going to the shows and making new friends. Be persistent about it.

Also, start working out. That will definitely help you with your confidence. When you start they day by looking in the mirror and saying "...Man...fuck yeah" everything is going to go a whole lot more smoothly after that.

IMO, confidence and lack of social experience is definitely your problem. You just got to get out there and learn it.
 
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