frostyangel
Bluelighter
I did fight, struggled immensely to cure all the agony that
our fears did hold..leading me nowhere..speaking weightless words of encouragement, that only made sense to myself.
[And you laughed]
So busy living on the wild side to understand that in the end I was right. You just needed to make a fool out of yourself to believe in it..And I know you won't come back to tell me so.. I just feel the shame in your lies.
And now, those twinkling stars that faded in your eyes..remind me of all the good times.. I can't even remember where it all started.
I can't hold you down anymore.. the tears just filled my eyes..
I am losing you one more time. And the death of our voices don't seem to be heard lingering down the hallway any more.
"Who cares what went wrong?" I am saying it out loud, while hopefully you'll remember why we became friends in the first place.
I know I sure don't care.
So, if I am feeling some kind of remorse.. shouldn't that mean that we messed up, somewhere along the lines of this friendship that we started, and enjoyed so much that we laughed so hard we sometimes started to cry.. (or ran to the bathroom because we almost pee'd our pants)
You told me life could be that funny; who needs to give a damn, right?
..we had to become serious some day. And I thought that I had to take that advice from you. Did I? Is that why I am losing myself slowly more and more everyday..
I hate the fact that you weren't realizing where you were suppose to stand. There is a place in line for you to come back to. Home as you and I use to call it. But the denial that exist becomes stronger and stronger everyday to you.
I've melted away the desires to discover what this life really is suppose to mean. I lately catch myself often blankly staring.. not wanting to think of what paths where there and which ones I was suppose to make for myself that could strengthen the uniqueness of our persona.
The fight with you was over. And now I think I am finally ending the war within myself.. I stopped walking over the steps of trying to change the past. Because, who am I fooling? You know that even in dreams, words, or interactions can not change what went on. I do believe everything happens for one reason or another.. but, I didn't know it could hurt this fucking much.. and that I had to make these choices of leaving someone behind. Knowing that was what I should do; that would make my life right.. Knowing that I can stop the cracking of this heart.
And where you stand today I don't know. But, I do and always will wish you luck, with all of your accomplishments.
Because, that is the right way.
To become the bigger person.. in all this.
For me, I still care that you are out there.
our fears did hold..leading me nowhere..speaking weightless words of encouragement, that only made sense to myself.
[And you laughed]
So busy living on the wild side to understand that in the end I was right. You just needed to make a fool out of yourself to believe in it..And I know you won't come back to tell me so.. I just feel the shame in your lies.
And now, those twinkling stars that faded in your eyes..remind me of all the good times.. I can't even remember where it all started.
I can't hold you down anymore.. the tears just filled my eyes..
I am losing you one more time. And the death of our voices don't seem to be heard lingering down the hallway any more.
"Who cares what went wrong?" I am saying it out loud, while hopefully you'll remember why we became friends in the first place.
I know I sure don't care.
So, if I am feeling some kind of remorse.. shouldn't that mean that we messed up, somewhere along the lines of this friendship that we started, and enjoyed so much that we laughed so hard we sometimes started to cry.. (or ran to the bathroom because we almost pee'd our pants)
You told me life could be that funny; who needs to give a damn, right?
..we had to become serious some day. And I thought that I had to take that advice from you. Did I? Is that why I am losing myself slowly more and more everyday..
I hate the fact that you weren't realizing where you were suppose to stand. There is a place in line for you to come back to. Home as you and I use to call it. But the denial that exist becomes stronger and stronger everyday to you.
I've melted away the desires to discover what this life really is suppose to mean. I lately catch myself often blankly staring.. not wanting to think of what paths where there and which ones I was suppose to make for myself that could strengthen the uniqueness of our persona.
The fight with you was over. And now I think I am finally ending the war within myself.. I stopped walking over the steps of trying to change the past. Because, who am I fooling? You know that even in dreams, words, or interactions can not change what went on. I do believe everything happens for one reason or another.. but, I didn't know it could hurt this fucking much.. and that I had to make these choices of leaving someone behind. Knowing that was what I should do; that would make my life right.. Knowing that I can stop the cracking of this heart.
And where you stand today I don't know. But, I do and always will wish you luck, with all of your accomplishments.
Because, that is the right way.
To become the bigger person.. in all this.
For me, I still care that you are out there.
ur writting is amazing and lil bits and peices of it seem to stick into my mind like glue. u asked me what my fav peice was from any words post and this one would have to be it 
