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  • AADD Moderators: andyturbo

Who's feeling unsure about things ?

confused and unsure, that pretty much sums me up at the moment. Realistically its probably insecurity thats the issue. Its not that I don't feal a little insecure all the time but I thinks its compounded by various factors in my life. Usually when I'm down in one part of my life I have something else to compensate ie career & relationship. At the moment I'm pretty much feeling insecure about everything in my life; I'm single and have been for quite awhile now and I dont believe I'm getting any closer to changing that and I've had a number of kicks in the teeth recently, careers wise I'm full of uncertainity, not only with my current position but with where I go from here specially in the short term as I think that my job is under threat. This is all componded by the fact that I am so far in debt that if something goes wrong (ie lose job) then I'm in a fair bit of strife. Now some of these things I can take responsibility for and some I cant. For the last 18 months I have lived a pretty full on life, bought new car, travelled O/S, changed jobs, house and bought a number of really cool toys as well as partied pretty hard.
Now the optimist in me says that everything will work out and I'll look back and laugh about it, but quite often I find myself thinking about what if it doesn't........
 
I feel just the same. I don't know where I'm heading.
It's like being in a car, doing 150km/h through a fog so thick you can't see what's coming up until it's right on top of you.
I have so much to say... But no time to say any of it right now. Plus I think if I typed out as much as I want to, the bluelight server would crash
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wisest is he who knows that he does not know...
 
Thats how ive always felt, like somethings always holding me back, somethings not letting me be what i want to be. And lately, especially the week after a big weekend i always get lots of ideas anmd really motivated because i seem to remember what i want to be and who i am.
Thats why im having a break from the whole rave/drug scene... because i know finally what i want and how to get it so i know what i need to sacrafice. And im completely happy with it. Im only 18, i feel like im 30...im pretty wise for my age, ive grown up around older people...hell, ive travelled the world by myself
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Moral of my story is, dont give up, just remember what u want to do and forget all the things u know u need to do to get there and take each day as it comes like one step closer to the thing you really want...thats the only way
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im not gonna come online much anymore either (how many times have i said that but *&^@#*&@^$ its for real this time...) so yeh
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Love yas byeeeeeeeeee
 
I know exactly what I want.
it's just taking me a little while to get there.
I'm doing my uni for 6 months satarting july 20th. then i'll gety a job in the IT indusry and save money, for around 6 months.
Then with the free plane tick i have, i'll be off to the uk to work/live etc.
Make the good money and do the uk/eu club scene
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and also travel to a few other parts of the world.
once ive done that. nfi. but it's a start
sorry about the pissed bastard typing btw
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long, hard day. but this is truely how i feel and what i W I L L do!
 
Ok... the cynical me comes out...
I have a real problem with this sudden quantum leap in consciousness. Before this, it was the Greys and Peladeans (sp? - havent read that word for years)... the latter were going to help us in psychic/spiritual development too.
A story comes up fairly often, with the telling of the end of the world, an ascention in human consciousness, or both. To me, theyre both the result of humans looking for a silver bullet for the current human condition.
Just another mythical quick fix, where (even better) we have to do nothing - just sit here and wait for it.
:P
 
I thought the Ascension was 21st December 2012 not 23rd...
Strangely enough, Terrance McKennas TimeWave Zero theory coincided with the Mayan calendars 'ending'. http://spiritweb.org/Spirit/timewave-zero.html
Whatever might be happening 2012, I believe it is going to be gradual, a preparatory 11 years. I've noticed changes as well, perhaps it is starting!
*queue spooky music*
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The aliens from the other dimensions will come to guide us through this monumental time. Yaahaaahaargh!
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Oops, forgot to take my medicine...
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"Yes, I am one of the most despised and despicable of media monsters, that blight of corruption against morality and decency and law’n’order — one who chooses to partake of consciousness-altering flowering herbs and alchemical essences — a drug user!"
 
I've decided to just keep to the attitude i've only recently adopted... and that is not to give a fuck
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Plan is to live life (*wank wank*), work to live, and live to party
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Then when i get old and life gets serious and i've buried myself so deep in my own shit, then i'll start crying and whining.... but till then.. bring it on
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<+|Tesi
 
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