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deeCee

deeCee

Bluelight Crew
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Oct 7, 2001
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After not being out for sometime (last being 2T and before that a long while ago[myself]). That the people who you thort you knew as being friends, dont contact you anymore? Since not going out regularly, 2 people have tried to be in contact with me.

After hearing much bitching and uneducated back stabbing (mostly second hand) I have come to this small conculsion. People who are real friends wil be by ur side no matter what happens (drugs or no drugs)? Others are along for the laff....
Think of the people around you really carefully, how do you want them to your influence there life? Do you want to influence there life, do you want to be influenced by those around you?

:)

**took out reference to "df"**
 
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heh. Had a conversation about this exact topic tonight. There are very few people who affect me on a more personal level and I know who they are... those people will be around whatever stage I go through.

Party friends are fun friends but I don't really care if I never see them again.

I don't want to influence anyone in my life but I think making an impact on people you are close to is inevitable.
 
^^^ booooo yahhhhh!!! ^^^^

Sad thing is, it took me to stop partying to find out I really had no true friends in the scene. Call m blind, but thats how it turned out to me. (ohh it could hav been the uneducated back stabbing too?)
 
I'm not trying to undermine the friendships I've made in 'the scene' [god i hate that term] but when it comes down to it the only thing we had in common was drugs and music and that's not enough to sustain a friendship. And besides, Tony Robbins [who I hate hate hate] has made more sincere speeches about life than most of the conversations I've had with my acquaintances...

... although talking to someone about how fucking great the drugs I'm on has also had its incredibly life defining moments. ;)
 
Yeah I must admitt I still refer back to those defining moments. But I still know who slagged me and try to change the thorts of those who I luved.
 
Darren!! =) My birthday boy!!!!
I barely knew anyone when I first moved to Melb, and you leave as quickly as you appear!! :P

I'm not sure how well I can relate to your problem, i mean.. I can sympathise, and I think the word is "Drug Friends"

Like every time I go home to my old town, and people I used to be close with want to know if I can get weed, and I say 'well, I dunno, I'm not really a huge pothead any more' which means we no longer have anything in common... and we stare at the walls for an hour wondering how we used to get along so well ;)

I always try and drag my friends along to my boring 'normal person' activities though.. like dinners at mine, and pub gigs and picnics in parks... Just so that they remember I'm not always this hyperactive, crazy girl, and more to the point, that I'm kind of subdued and dry really..
 
DARREN!!!!!! omg long long time...I believe it was a street in Melbourne when we last 'saw' each other ;);)

Get in contact dude...lots and lots to catch up on *huge leecie hugs*
 
this certainly rings true, but it's not always such a bad thing - when people find a common interest, they'll cling to it. it's the same as the fact that i rarely talk to any of my footy mates anymore, now that i don't play football. the core group of friends will - hopefully - always stay strong, however, regardless of your activities or lack thereof.

great to see you around however, deecee :D
 
This topic has hit a home run with me... Ive found that Ive got quite a few partying friends, but Ive found that people Ive meet throught bluelight I no longer have much to do with not that I was the "best mates' because I never spent that much time perosnally with them, but alot of net chats, phones calls, msg's, and random chats and partly partying togther at raves, these days I hardly hear form them.. Im one of those people who do try and keep in contact but Im fed up trying to be peoples friends if the only thing that we have in commen is drugs and music.. and because I dont use anymore I have nothing in commmen with most ravers... or bluelighters..

Call me a party pooper or whatever you like, but Ive realized some great things since not partying so much, but also I realized when I was in the party scene why was I living this lie of not being in reality and taking thing serious, it was fun, but I want to live a real life, the rave/drug scene... hmmm changed my life ...parts of it I dont want to ever re-visit again.. let that being loosing friends on not, If you are my real friend you now where I am...:\
 
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I figured out at the end of last year that it's not too important to worry about who wants to hang around with me for a laugh and who doesn't, because simply put I have enough people that DO wanna hang around with me, so why spend time worrying about people that don't ?
 
Goodly topic.

However, I've found it infinitely worse when someone I was so close to has distanced themselves to the point where I feel I no longer have anything in common with them.

Yet they don't notice.

Sadly, its happened more often than once.

Maybe its just me and my mental states alienating people
 
This is something I’ve been thinking about heaps lately – trying to do your wedding guest list does that to you ;)

Being friends with people is about accepting their faults as part of them and realising that they do the same for you - there are so many people that have survived the drug phase; people who I still count as my friends, those who will be there at my wedding. Sometimes when your only interest in common is the drugs, the music and/or the partying, when one of you stops actively participating in those interests, you start to drift apart.

I’ve been lucky, the people I really like, truly trust and want to be around are the people who still stay in touch in some way... and as far as I’m concerned the rest can get fucked. I don’t even begin to pretend I haven’t been a bitch at times or done stupid things - I think most of us have at some stage, friendships begin and fade as part of life; the whole drug thing just seems to highlight the experience.

The people around me are the people I choose to have around me, they influence my life in positive ways and I hope I do the same... if not, the majority of them know they can just tell me to pull my head in :), and if i care enough about their opinion, i will.
 
deecee!!!

a wise man once said - if you notify people when you change your number, they will ring....



give me a buzz buddy!!


its been too long since two tribes!!


much beer is in need of drinking....
 
Yeah there is people who i only talk to when 'out' sometimes but shit i meet a heap of people everytime i go out. Some i exchange numbers with and some i don't. Some i call and some i only see when out. Doesn't mean i don't value any sort of connection i make with somone. I live about two hours away from most people i meet and have a son to raise during the week so can't travel that far just to 'pop in' and see people so i wait until i see them when i'm out and we catch up then. *shrugs*
 
I just think that it boils down to there being two types of people- the people who ring other people and the people who wait for others to ring them. Regardless of the level of friendship between people there are just some who don't even think of picking up the phone and sometimes it feels as if they don't like you- but in reality they probably do like you, they're just bloody lazy
 
We all have friends by association. Friends for different occasions. I got work friends, party friends, chilling friends, music friends then the multi purpose friends. Its these multi purpose friends that transcend the friend by association barrier and fufil the core needs of a good friend regardless of the environment.

I've met some great people through BL/raves but only a handful i would call up to hang out with. I don't think this is because we only have a drug relationship though, i think it's because when you don't live near someone and have met through a certain medium (partying) that tends to be the times you meetup again. This means that it is kinda difficult to take it to the next level of friendship unless BOTH people put in the effort. So don't think all those friendships are hollow, they're not. If you can hang with someone when sober and still have a good time then theres *something* there.

The ones that i would ring up are those that i will play music with. Theres a certain bonding element of making music that can bring people together. anyway...

Adikkal
 
Originally posted by Tabernacle
Regardless of the level of friendship between people there are just some who don't even think of picking up the phone and sometimes it feels as if they don't like you- but in reality they probably do like you, they're just bloody lazy


:)
 
there is the old time saying...


friends for a reason...

friends for a season...

friends for a lifetime....






and i believe it helps to have a healthy mix of the three....
 
<3

I don't agree with the general sentiment here. :\

I know it's easy to blame friendships crumbling on the lack of time spent together.
I know it's justifiable to think people need to make the effort to stay in touch - to stay informed about you and your life.

I also know we have just as much responsibility to share our time and our thoughts / emotions / smiles / voices / experiences with the people we feel close to and want to get to know, and keep in our lives.

Just like I know a true friendship [to me] doesn't always involve time.
Sure, a lot of relationships blossom over the passing of moments shared..but I'm sure a lot of us have those friendships - - those special connections that still burn just as bright after not seeing each other for months or years.
 
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