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Who wants to help me get my life together?

E

EphemeralOutlet141

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Dec 11, 2014
Messages
65
(Slightly long read)

Where to begin. I have a few issues that I need some outside help to solve, I'm done dealing with everything by myself. Just looking for some friendly advice and experiences, I know I'm not alone here in what I deal with on a daily basis.

I've been dealing with social anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember. A little background, no I haven't seen a professional for it, but I can say with absolute certainty this isn't just a fabrication. I get irrational panic in social settings, intense mood swings, and I've fallen into deep depressive states for days at a time. Suicide has also come up a lot in my mind for no apparent reason, I've even tried it once but kept it to myself. My family does not believe in psychology/psychiatry (yes, I know exactly how ridiculous that sounds), at most I was allowed to see a school social worker that barely had 10 minutes to spare per student.

Because of this, I've taken matters into my own hands. No outside help. I've been seeking mostly drug-free remedies to my issues. I've always used drugs strictly recreationally and in a (mostly) responsible manner as I know that habits develop very easily.

So far, my approach has brought me nothing. I actually believe I'm worse off now than before. My social issues are even more in my way than they ever were. I come to you Bluelight to help me fix my life. As crazy as it sounds, I trust this community more than anyone I know in real life. Like I said, my family is no help. My friends could care less about what I have to say, they only care about getting fucked up. I've seen members of this community absolutely dedicate themselves to other's well-being without even knowing the person by anything else but a username. Everyone here has first-hand experiences.

Should I use these recreational drugs for their intended purposes? Cut off these people in my life? What will help me?
 
I don't think you necessarily have to cut off the friends in your life that just want to get fucked up but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to branch out and make new friends. I realize that with social anxiety that can seem impossible but there are ways to go about it that can be pretty painless (like volunteering at something you actually care about and simply spending time with other people of all ages and backgrounds that care about the same thing).

Social anxiety stems from your feelings about yourself. If you can find ways to use your rational mind to counteract your anxious (self-negating) mind eventually you can put a dent in the old thought habits. It isn't a fast process to change your thoughts but it can be done.;)

What kinds of drugs are you using recreationally?
 
Get fit. It is absolutely THE most effective way to feel happier. Run, climb, swim, whatever, but the fitter you are the happier you will feel. This is how I cured (or perhaps cured should be in inverted commas) my own feelings of social anxiety. Now I run 20km nearly every day and when I'm doing it I feel like a fucking panther.

Nothing has ever been empirically shown to help ease dpression as effectively as simple exercise, not drugs, not therapy, nothing.


And don't 'cut off' anyone from your life. If one person makes you feel bad, then sure, maybe they're just a dick. But if everyone around you makes you feel bad then that's simply a sign of depression, it's not on them. Get fit, get healthy, and one day soon you'll start appreciating their company a lot more.
 
ever considered a creator/God? if not have a think. The chances of the elements and laws that govern the universe and the result of intelligent entities existing as they do exceeds mathematical probability. Therefor the universe must have been designed by a creator who is infinite (had no beginning and has no end) and is infinite in its ability to produce finite entities.

Just saying, i went through the same and spirituality helped. :o
 
I can relate; always had social anxiety throughout my life and it used to be as crippling as yours sounds like. In fact my social anxiety was one of the biggest reasons I started using hard drugs I was self medicating the constant fear and self pity and doubt. I have trouble asking for help so I went online and tried google therapy but never made any real progress.
I started therapy a couple of years ago intermittently however the first 4 I tried did not vibe well with, once I found one I truly felt comfortable with and could be completely honest with I started confronting my deep seated shit that is the root of my emotional problems. I have made drastic progress and people are surprised today when I tell them I used to have social anxiety. I continue to make progress with her constantly and she keeps me grounded and rational. Not saying that's the only option but it was really effective for me and I started actually enjoying therapy after awhile.
 
danglesmcgee said:
ever considered a creator/God? if not have a think. The chances of the elements and laws that govern the universe and the result of intelligent entities existing as they do exceeds mathematical probability. Therefor the universe must have been designed by a creator who is infinite (had no beginning and has no end) and is infinite in its ability to produce finite entities.

Just saying, i went through the same and spirituality helped. :o
Click to expand...


Lol 12 step meetings much ? :)

I need to get spiritual again, i never believed in God but as soon as i started praying to a higher power. Things got better and i was sober during that time
 
danglesmcgee said:
ever considered a creator/God? if not have a think. The chances of the elements and laws that govern the universe and the result of intelligent entities existing as they do exceeds mathematical probability. Therefor the universe must have been designed by a creator who is infinite (had no beginning and has no end) and is infinite in its ability to produce finite entities.
Click to expand...

good job, but lemme just troll you real quick. quoting modest mouse, "who would wanna be such an asshole?" God is big business, especially christian god. it's just another way to get through the day...like a drug. Another quick quote for ya, "Religion is the opiate of the people," by my man Karl Marxxx.

A little more on god, "If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward, then brother, that person is a piece of shit...What's it say about life, hmm? You gotta get together, tell yourself stories that violate every law of the universe, just to get through the goddamn day? What's that say about your reality..?"
 
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danglesmcgee said:
ever considered a creator/God? if not have a think. The chances of the elements and laws that govern the universe and the result of intelligent entities existing as they do exceeds mathematical probability. Therefor the universe must have been designed by a creator who is infinite (had no beginning and has no end) and is infinite in its ability to produce finite entities.

Just saying, i went through the same and spirituality helped. :o
Click to expand...

This only works if you assume multiple realities don't exist, and they may well. Even then there are issues with that theory. And hey I believe in a higher power too, I'm not saying your conclusion is wrong. But it's definitely not helpful for atheists if that's what the OP is. And that's fine too imo. For those of us that find comfort in some level of faith, that's great, but I've seen enough to know it doesn't work for all.
 
After some deliberations with my family I've decided that the best treatment for me right now would be a more natural route. I'm going to be exercising more and following a stricter diet with the help of supplements and nootropics.

I'm kicking weed and alcohol to the curb as well. The only drug I plan on continuing to do (albeit at a much smaller scale and only as needed) is Xanax, as it has gotten me out of many bad mood swings and panic attacks in the past.

We've agreed that I'm going to start seeing a therapist if this doesn't work.

Thanks for all the input. It really means a lot.
 
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devilsgospel said:
After some deliberations with my family I've decided that the best treatment for me right now would be a more natural route. I'm going to be exercising more and following a stricter diet with the help of supplements and nootropics.

I'm kicking weed and alcohol to the curb as well. The only drug I plan on continuing to do (albeit at a much smaller scale and only as needed) is Xanax, as it has gotten me out of many bad mood swings and panic attacks in the past.

We've agreed that I'm going to start seeing a therapist if this doesn't work.

Thanks for all the input. It really means a lot.
Click to expand...

Awesome. It's crazy how your original post sounds just like my un-medicated sobriety feels. I am super-anxious and that anxiety eventually leads me to isolation and depression. But, with klonpin, for some reason I can manage my stress and life problems without panic. I agree with Mysterie that you shouldn't "replace" any drug you'd been using with Xanax, but I understand the desire to continue using it. Just, of course, not abuse it. I don't mean to lecture. By the way, I don't know how informed you are about the various benzodiazepine/anxiety medications, but klonopin is an alternative to xanax that lasts a lot longer and generally puts me in a better mood overall for the time that it works. It's also generally seen as "less dangerous" than xanax, at least in my area.

Update some time - I'll read it at least
 
chairmanma084 said:
Awesome. It's crazy how your original post sounds just like my un-medicated sobriety feels. I am super-anxious and that anxiety eventually leads me to isolation and depression. But, with klonpin, for some reason I can manage my stress and life problems without panic. I agree with Mysterie that you shouldn't "replace" any drug you'd been using with Xanax, but I understand the desire to continue using it. Just, of course, not abuse it. I don't mean to lecture. By the way, I don't know how informed you are about the various benzodiazepine/anxiety medications, but klonopin is an alternative to xanax that lasts a lot longer and generally puts me in a better mood overall for the time that it works. It's also generally seen as "less dangerous" than xanax, at least in my area.

Update some time - I'll read it at least
Click to expand...

It's really a horrible chain of events.

I actually used to take Klonopin for this exact reason. My source is currently in jail though. It really really helped and I wish I had some right now, but I guess it's for the better. Don't want a benzo habit.

I'll definitely be sure to update it, your interest in this means a great deal to me.
 
I've always been curious if I medicated my anxiety and depression with real legit doc prescribed meds if that would help me stay away from opiates and make sobriety easy for me. I too was always scared of developing a benzo habit although I've never really abused them besides a handful of times.
 
If you think about it, any drug/medication anyone takes for anxiety is an experiment that requires the test of time. So why not experiment allowing the same amount of time with therapy, diet, exercise, life changes etc? I think drugs/meds give people the idea that there is a fix for something that is in fact one of the most common struggles all humans experience--social anxiety/general anxiety. we live in a culture that fosters and nurtures fear and isolation so why wouldn't we take it in and start to create it ourselves? The trick is to see it for what it is--completely manufactured by our own minds. If we manufacture it, we can cease production! (Well, cease production may be a bit if an exaggeration, but we can learn to minimize our output at least.;))
 
That's the exact outlook I've adopted. You're in charge of your own mind. I believe it's really easy to fall into a negative mindset and see the worst in things, but as of lately I've turned it around and forced myself to do the opposite.

It works.
 
herbavore said:
If you think about it, any drug/medication anyone takes for anxiety is an experiment that requires the test of time. So why not experiment allowing the same amount of time with therapy, diet, exercise, life changes etc? I think drugs/meds give people the idea that there is a fix for something that is in fact one of the most common struggles all humans experience--social anxiety/general anxiety. we live in a culture that fosters and nurtures fear and isolation so why wouldn't we take it in and start to create it ourselves? The trick is to see it for what it is--completely manufactured by our own minds. If we manufacture it, we can cease production! (Well, cease production may be a bit if an exaggeration, but we can learn to minimize our output at least.;))
Click to expand...
This is great, it's all about perspective. I have gone through periods of emotional epiphany where I truly am able to turn my anxiety and depression around but then sometimes life will shit on you and you tend to forget all that shit and end up where you started again.
 
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