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  • LAVA Moderator: Shinji Ikari

Who Should Pay For College?

Re: the necessity of college: masters is the new bachelors and the bachelors doesn't guarantee much, so it's unfortunately more necessary than ever to get access to career options (esp. college internships). That's the reality for most in our accreditation-based society today, whether it has much merit or not.

If you learned how to work you finances by paying for something ongoing like your own car and insurance in high school and you have a genuine intellectual interest in your major I don't think parents should force you to pay for it if they can afford it. I went to state college and worked nights as a janitor to pay for college and I lost out on a lot of both the potential intellectual and social opportunities that are considered part of the "college experience". I had to make up for it autodidactically during free time. It was because my parents couldn't afford it, so obviously I don't hold it against them, but, especially as an only child who's supposed to be spoiled, I think I'd be justifiable peeved if they could have afforded it.
 
and a bachelors seemed to be the equivalent to a high school diploma when I graduated in 95 but I knew that going in
 
The answer to this question for me entirely relies upon the particular kids/parents situation.

For me, my parents were able to work up from lower-middle class to lower-upper class so they could afford to send my sister and I to the universities of our choice (within reason - I'd be hard pressed to get them to pay for Peppercorn or something equally ridiculous-priced). They consciously put away funds for both of us as they knew what it was like to work through ALL of school. They felt like they really missed out and didn't want us to go through it as well.

That said, they FULLY expected us to get part-time jobs for our own spending money and excel at our studies. If we fell down on either obligation there would be consequences. My sister ended up having to get loans and such because she screwed around and got shitty grades. I, luckily, took undergrad seriously and therefore was able to utalize the fund my parents had set up for me.

I am still VERY thankful that my parents did this for us and worked so hard to make it a reality. Also, I don't think it's an 'obligation' for them to pay at all. So yeah, I was lucky. I still think, if you can (and don't really need to sacrifice other things) then it's probably the 'right' thing to do as a parent.

Past undergrad I can't imagine anybody suggesting they 'deserve' for their parents to pay for graduate studies. I still feel uncomfortable that my mom helps pay for my law school tuition but she insists. She's a great mom and I never expected her to offer.
 
I am 37 and my parents STILL want to give me money or buy me groceries when I see them. I don't need it. I appreciate their kindness.
 
I don't think parents should be expected to be responsible for wedding costs either.
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Absolutely not! That's insane. Anyone who would expect that from their parents disgusts me. Actually, massively expensive weddings in general disgust me, but that's another thread.

Past undergrad I can't imagine anybody suggesting they 'deserve' for their parents to pay for graduate studies. I still feel uncomfortable that my mom helps pay for my law school tuition but she insists. She's a great mom and I never expected her to offer.
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That's awesome. :) As long as the parents genuinely are happy to do it, I see nothing wrong with it. It's the whole "don't have kids unless you can save 50 grand for college" attitude that annoys me.
 
I am lucky to be in Australia, where I have had Commonwealth Supported Places for all my uni education, which I am just coming to an end to now. Once I start working this will start to be paid back out of my wage. Therefore, my parents didn't have to fork out thousands they would not have been able to afford, and I didn't have to work my arse off to any detriment to my studies, or start my working life behind the 8-ball with some enormous debt to pay back ASAP.

I thinks it's absolutely wrong to deny people further education simply due to lack of finances. Sure, not everyone wants to go to uni and there is nothing wrong with that at all, but if I were to be denied education simply because my family is poor and would not have afforded it is an awful thought. Therefore I do think the system Australia has in place is an excellent way to enable any person to pursue higher education regardless of their situation.

Overall though I am a STRONG believer in education, and believe these choices should be made available to as much as the country's population as possible. After all it is also an investment in the country's future as well as an individual.
 
I believe all a parent should provide is food and somewhere to sleep and basic enjoyment/sport stuff. Basically pretty much the opposite of the modern society where people spoil their kids rotten.

In the US it's even worse, kids getting expensive cars as gifts when they turn 16, parents paying for really expensive trips as their kids graduate college that they paid for(as if that's not enough!)
 
My family hasn't really ever had much money. I don't think my parents owed me any college at all. I lived in their house completely free until I was 23. No bills at all, free food, everything. My mom even gave me her car. I know if they had the money they'd definitely put me through school (and buy me a house and a new car and blah blah blah) because they're wonderful generous people who work really hard and they really love me and want me to be ok. Anyway, They were awesome enough to pay for my books though and I took care of the credits. I got my AA at the local community college but after that I just went to work. I want to get my MLIS but I'm absolutely terrified of loans and I know I can't afford to drive an hour each class day to go to a school I can't really afford. I'm trying to save money but it isn't working very well...one of the bipolar things I got is the big compulsive spending thing so I save up some money for a while, blow it all on really stupid crap I don't even want, save more, etc. It's not that I'm not trying, it's just that when I'm not in my right mind my money disappears and half the time I don't even know what happened. :(

My little sister, however, has been in a few car accidents and has gotten quite a bit of money through that. She was able to pay for her BA (BS?) and I think she has enough for her masters. Plus, she landed a pretty sweet job with her degree so that's a win. :)

I guess kinda wish I was in her situation minus the accidents part.

But um yeah anyway I'd love it if there was good government help for school. I mean, eventually I'll get out and get a great job and pay taxes that would help other people go to school right? And the cycle continues and everyone gets to go to school. Shit I've been working & payin taxes for 10 years. A little help would be GREAT.
 
StoneLove said:
I believe all a parent should provide is food and somewhere to sleep and basic enjoyment/sport stuff. Basically pretty much the opposite of the modern society where people spoil their kids rotten.

In the US it's even worse, kids getting expensive cars as gifts when they turn 16, parents paying for really expensive trips as their kids graduate college that they paid for(as if that's not enough!)
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You have no idea how refreshing it is that other people feel the same way I do on this subject. I've always felt like "the asshole" around a lot of people I know because it seems most people in America have an idea that loving your children means giving them every material thing you can possibly afford... makes me sick.
 
I'm sorry, but I don't think that a post-secondary education is a "material thing". When ~60% of adults over 25 are either College or University educated, it's not icing on the cake anymore, it's pretty much mandatory to get ahead in life.

I sympathize with Countries who aren't more friendly to their students, but the reality of the situation doesn't change.
 
My opinion is that a student should work their hardest in high school to do their best and figure out some general areas they want to go into afterward. Then, they should go to an appropriate school (so, if they aren't sure they want to go into science, they shouldn't go for the 40000/yr school that is good in science). I think that supportive parents should help their children within reason and according to their budgets, but the student should contribute by getting good grades and doing extracurricular activities so they can get grants, and then work a full job during the summer, and save up so they can help pay for their college and books, and take loans that they will be responsible for paying later in their life (with a full understanding of the realities of this situation before they take the loans!!!!!)

My 2 cents, and it worked for me. I've got 16000 in loans to pay off, and i helped my parents with the rest by paying 1000-2000+ a year when i was in college from the money I earned in the summer. I also got huge (like 30000/yr) need and acheivement-based grants from my college every year to help pay for the 40000/yr it cost for my school.
 
I'm 30-years-old and abstaining from having children is simple. I've never cleared $30,000 on a tax statement, so how in the world can I justify breeding?
 
MynameisnotDeja said:
That is the attitude that annoys me (no offense). It so isn't. I love my life and I didn't go to college. And how do you define "getting ahead" in life anyway? Having tons of money?
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I don't think college is absolutely necessary. Lots of people have been successful without it. It might be a good idea to even reconsider going to college if you're just going to end up owing more than you would ever make. Lots of people who are now still paying off student loans are also having to deal with mortgage and foreclosures too. It's a big loan so make sure you really know what you want to do in college and don't waste time.
 
I think it should be a joint responsibility. College is so outrageously priced (at least in the states) that it is almost irrational to expect a kid to handle all the loans him or herself. I am biased though because I personally split the cost of school with my parents 50/50. They let me know that this would be the case early on when I was in high school. Even though I wound up going to school within 10km of my home I lived in dorms and apartments and now I have a nice amount of debt-- 50,000 give or take. I think however, that if they had told me in high school that they weren't planning on paying for my college, I would have been a more attentive student. I also would have applied to more schools. As it turned out I only applied to three and got stuck at a place I did not enjoy on the whole.
 
rant*N*rave said:
I definitely think parents should at least try their damndest to help their kids get through college. Any children I have will be getting all the help I can give, with the stipulation that they not fuck around - every penny I have ever received from my parents for *anything* has always been with the expectation that I would be working my ass off (and I've had household chores since forever and a job since I was 11, and I was always a straight A student). My little brother has fucked around a lot, so he's getting a lot less help - he did not get to select his college, and he's living at home, and since he's on academic probation, if the school cuts him off, my parents will be cutting him off as well.

You have to also think about the fact that financial obligations can seriously strangle a college career. There is literally NO way I could have completed the degree program I chose while holding down a job good enough to pay even living expenses, let alone tuition. I went to a public, in-state school and had some scholarship money, but even with that, living expenses are outrageous here because we have 30,000+ students jammed onto a little isthmus, with more and more rich kids coming in from the coast every year jacking up prices (I'll put it this way - it's cheaper to drink at a strip club than the local dive bars, and the Urban Outfitters remodeled while all the local shops and restaurants were going out of business in the recession...). I did both honors in the major and honors in the college as well as every specialty class available (sometimes called "honors plus" because you have to be specially accepted via application and be in the honors program for most of them) to get a BS in biochemistry with a fantastic amount of depth and breadth, and I spent ungodly amounts of time studying. I would never give up how much I learned for how hard I worked, but I pretty much had to sacrifice some of my GPA in order to remain sane - not even joking, I saw more than a few kids crack up because they wanted those As so bad... Had my parents not been helping me out, I would have never made it in a million years.

I'm definitely not saying that you're a bad parent if you don't pay for your kids' college, but it's definitely something a good parent would do if they could.

And I would be cool with merit-based government scholarships for school. The private donations can help buy football players that the universities want, and the gov't money can help buy brainpower so the country doesn't end up a cesspool. I find it somewhat alarming that really bright and/or hard-working kids that could provide so much to the world can get totally screwed because they're poor...
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totally this

EDIT: oh and one thing that bothers me in this thread is the attitude of "why go to college if you will end up owing more than you make." well if thats true than there is an obvious problem in our country. the only thing that should be able to hold a person back from improving their life through college education, is their own lack of brainpower or desire. when the opposite occurs then you have a sytem in which those in poverty stay in poverty

so to answere the question of who is resposnsible for paying. its not so simple to just say its purely the parents responsibility or purely the goverments. right now in america it kind of feels like if your parents are rich they pay for your college and if your parents are dirt poor the government pays for your college. but then what about the middleclass? we just get to carry the huge bill on our backs because were not poor enough for aide and our parents dont want to see their retirement money go up in smoke.
 
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