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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

who else here is withdrawing from benzos?

I'm in the process of tapering and it's hard, even though I'm going slow. I'm prescribed exactly 2mgs Klonopin a day now, I'll go down to 1.75mgs in a week or so. I know that some of the battle is mental but seizures sure as hell aren't mental. I take 1mg every 12 hours but I messed up this month and had to drop my dose to 1mg for a couple days so I could make it till my next refill. The first two days weren't bad but today I hadn't had any klonopin for over 24 hours and I felt really odd, thankfully I got my refill today though.

On my way to get my refill though I got stuck in traffic and I could feel an anxiety attack coming on, also had that strange feeling of depersonalization and I was just sitting in traffic for an hour thinking "why the hell did I get into this mess? why do I need these fucking pills!" I was angry at myself but they have helped me a great deal, it's just time to come off of them. I'm sick of counting the pills till my next refill, sick of being terrified of running out and having to go cold turkey.

By the time I got to the pharmacy my hands were shaking, I was having trouble coordinating simple movements, I'm sure alot of this was mostly in my head since I've been through xanax withdrawal cold turkey and had a seizure and I remember the symptoms of withdrawal a little too vividly.

I took 1 1mg pill when I got back to my car and felt normal within about a half hour. So I'm continuing my taper but I will never cold turkey benzos ever again if there is ANY other alternative.
 
ive been using phenibut to cope hopefully it wont slow things down. i only take it twice a weeek now and i dont feel any worse when it wears off than i usually do. its a great help for sleep but it doesnt really wipe anything out.
 
AfterGlow said:
I had been on Xanax, 2-4mg/day for the past 3 years and 6-8mg/day for 3 years before that. Prior to Xanax, I was on Lorazepam 2.5-5mg/day and Temazepam as needed for about 15 years.

About this time last year I began my own taper program by alternating days when I would and would not take them and gradually increasing the number of days off. It was really hard to finally just stop, but I haven't taken any benzos now for 4 months and I feel great.
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holy crap. how do people recover so fast? are you on any other GABAergic drugs?
i have been off benzos more than 15 months now and im still having major withdrawal symptoms, although i would say i am improved over how i was the first 6 or 7 months.
 
bagochina said:
Wow that is a good deal AfterGlow. 4 months and feeling great. It took me a solid year until I could say I was even at 75% than I started taking klonopin again for 2 months to get off opiates. I definitely noticed a return of those nasty benzo w/d feelings but I think it was blurred from the opiate w/d. 8.5 months clean from pills now though and feeling good.

That first year though, HOLY FUCKING SHIT I was in hell every way imaginable. Complete and utter wreck. I was clenching my jaws/teeth so much I ended up cracking a couple teeth pretty bad. Those things just destroyed me way worse than many year IV heroin runs. The duration just wore me down and just continued to stomp me into the ground. Truthfully there are days when I just want to say you know fuck it give me a bar of xanax, a couple hits of good weed, and a nice root beer float [or a hard cider this time of year]. To easy for me to forget the twisted reality those put me through.

8mg klonopin [8 yrs]
2mg ativan [8 yrs]

Plus xanax [powdered], halcion, injectable valium/ativan, Librium, Restoril, Rohypnol [still have a few hundred of those I hid somewhere in a blackout haze], you name it and I had it in large quantities. I had been taking benzos since I used to snatch um from my first job at a mom and pop pharmacy at 13 [v-cut valiums], I am 34 now, wow. Than I would mainly just take them when I was getting sick from dope, than I just started taking them everyday on dope. Than I hopped on scripts from my doctor and that is when the k-pins and ativan kinda become clear in my memory.

Sometimes I feel like I repeat myself on here or worse I feel like I am just dick sizing [which is completely not the case]. I guess it helps me to type this shit out and than see it in writing and be like what the hell was I thinking?! Sometimes ppl I talk to in recovery I cant really relate to and god knows I can talk up a storm concerning drugs in general, ha. Anyways.

peace.
seedless
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i never get tired of reading your posts regarding benzos even if its the same thing over again, lol. it gives me hope i can recover. may i ask you if you had problems with emotional and cognitive stuff? my main withdrawal symptoms are cognitive impairment and inability to feel emotion. does the ability to feel emotion actually return?
 
burn out said:
holy crap. how do people recover so fast? are you on any other GABAergic drugs?
i have been off benzos more than 15 months now and im still having major withdrawal symptoms, although i would say i am improved over how i was the first 6 or 7 months.
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It sure didn't feel like a fast recovery. Don't forget I started a year ago. I would go a day with no benzo then a day on. Then 2 days off and a day on. Then 3 days off and a day or 2 on. Eventually, I would go a week off and then a few days on. Then 2 weeks off and a few days on. Each time I went off for a week or more, it was like withdrawing all over again. But I knew that I could give myself a benzo relief if I needed to so I was able to endure the mental torture. Eventually, I started recognizing that if I stayed off for more than 2 weeks, it would start feeling a little better. And it got worse if I went back on them for a few days. So it started feeling better to just stay off of them. I still get anxiety when I would love to drop 10mg and feel that instant relief. But I've gone through the rebound anxiety enough times to know that it's not worth it anymore.
 
that's probably not a recommend way of tapering afterglow. it's good it worked for you though. strangely, i don't seem to suffer anxiety anymore after coming off benzos. at least not the way i did before. but i have major problems with thinking, memory and the inability to feel to pleasure as well as all other emotions now. did you experience any of that?
 
^I had anhedonia for quite some time after I withdrew from benzos. In fact, it lasted until I started to take kratom. I am not suggesting that you should start a kratom habit, but am just saying that it lasted for 2 or so years, and when I started taking kratom, I finally felt good for once, instead of the blunt reward feelings I would get when I accomplished something (these good feelings would literally last for a couple seconds, and that was it). Even with the "runner's high," I wouldn't feel good, I would just feel healthy. It literally felt like any spark I had of my childhood was murdered, and I was an old decrepit man in my late 20s. However, for me, kratom has somehow given me the gift of wonder back. I am literally interested in the world now, and want to learn everything, talk to everyone, make music and paint again. But, I know it comes with a price. However, without kratom (and before I found it), I am the walking dead. I only try to accomplish things in life so I do not hurt others. But if I had no friends or family, I would give up without it. I know this for certain.
 
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Am now down to 10mg diazepam daily, which is very amazing for me, plus I made the call to start reducing more. I had none yesterday cos my doc hadn't done my perscription! Hurry up doc 8)
 
I've maintained on 1mg of valium a day for the past 1.5yrs.

I've switched between 1mg daily, 2mg once every 2 days, and 3mg once every 3 days.

I don't plan on ever increasing my dose.
 
^ 1mg is awesome man. Can't wait untill i'm down to that, which i'm pretty confident should be possible. About 13 months ago (when I started my diazepam taper) i'd been on 100-150mg daily for years. 8) It ruined me in the end, but 10mg is nothing for me now I spose at least.
 
Cyc said:
I've maintained on 1mg of valium a day for the past 1.5yrs.

I've switched between 1mg daily, 2mg once every 2 days, and 3mg once every 3 days.

I don't plan on ever increasing my dose.
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Why do you continue to take non-therapeutic doses? Or do you actually get an effect from those doses? Just trying to understand why you don't jump off..

Glad you managed to get so low! <3
 
I should qualify that I actually started taking diazepam at that dose without a tolerance, and while it is sub-clinical I do find it quite therapeutic.

Especially if I wait 3 days and take 3mg.. It's actually quite nice.

My attitude toward benzo use isn't quite the same as many of the others I read online. I don't want to get high, I want to maintain an anxiety-free lifestyle. I also feel I have to balance this with taking valium in a quantity where withdrawal would not destroy me if I were to run out.

This is the closest thing I could manage to attain that balance.
 
I am so scared since I'm off benzos and ssris. I mean, SCARED. As soon as the sun sets, I'm in a half panic until the next morning... a full panic if I see or do anything.

It sucks ass. I'm scared right now. For no reason.
 
^ How long have you been on benzos? How long have you been without? Is it everyday use? You do not need to go through this, as there is a way to get them through local clinics, for very cheap. Talk to a county clinic doctor, please. If you have no income, they will just write up a tab for you. Generic benzos are very inexpensive. If you feel your life is in danger, don't be afraid to go to the e.r., if you feel it is necessary. I don't mean to scare you, and just know that the mortality rate from benzo withdrawal is greatly overblown, so don't focus on that. Eat plenty of magnesium, potassium, valerian root, kava kava, if you have no access. Hope you can find relief.
 
I've been on benzos for 15 years I guess... I can't actually remember. I guess it's been 15 years that seems right.

Being off of them has been a nightmare. Is a nightmare.

I didn't know anything about any county stuff... are you in Cali also? I don't know anything about the county...
 
I'm in IL, but am aware that there are Behavioral Health services in every state, and they usually are coordinated by the county. 15 years is quite some time, so, if you feel that you are in danger, please go to the e.r. What is the most you could lose for getting a bill you cannot afford right now? You can worry about paying it off later. Are your muscles getting very tense? Is your resting heart rate very high?

This should help you regarding California county services:
http://www.dmh.ca.gov/
 
Thank you for the link.

My muscles cramp. Especially in my hands and feet. It sucks SO much ass.

My resting heart rate is up but not as bad as it was when I first came off. I'm getting better I guess.

Thank you for the link. I'll be over reading that page now.
 
i get 29m daily which i put aside. cos weekly i buy 300-500 10m eat half loose some give some ..etc but last no 2-3 yrs ago i came off 30 m raw and went insane reclusive for overa yr till i developed eating disorder the dr put me back ona valium script just so i could go out n also eat it's working but having 1000's shipped over from india for a few quid dont help earlier i ate 63 10m slept for half hr, now gotta wait till 8am to get 29 m and 130m of methadone, however i did send 250m home back to family to deal with em for xmas but i know pain is there ina big fat envelope 4 me,but ive acces to moggies, lorazepam,niether my favs but one takes what one can get, iys that feeling 6-8 days in withno vals and of course this nationwide smack drought...well problems ahead.
 
ugly said:
I've been on benzos for 15 years I guess... I can't actually remember. I guess it's been 15 years that seems right.

Being off of them has been a nightmare. Is a nightmare.
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Wishing you all the best m8. I've been addicted to benzos for 6 years now (have been on diazepam everyday for 6 years), but finally after 13 months of tapering from 100-150mg diazepam daily to now 12.5mg, I am feeling normal again. When I was going through the withdrawals I never thought I would feel close to "normal" ever again, and didn't even remember what it felt like. It was fucken hell, as you know, but it definately does get easier over time, eventhough that is hard to beleive. <3
 
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