Which one this "feeling" the "magic" that everyone seeks with MDMA?

[glotrip]

Which one this "feeling" the "magic" that everyone seeks with MDMA?

So I am very aware of my dosages with MDMA, concluding that I am more sensitive than the majority of my peers. 35-50mg is a solid dose, 50-75mg is the highest safe intensity for me, and anything about 75mg begins to give me the cold, anti-social, can't function/talk properly and I become a recluse. With that said, the 12 times I have taken MDMA in varying dosages, the same thing happens in respective intensities. The account I am giving below is a 55mg dose of MDMA for me.

Part 1:
As I start to come up, I begin to get these waves and surges through my body which make me act spastic and force me to move my body around. Additionally, these waves of energy will travel through different parts of my body and I'll do such oddities as randomly stretch my arms/legs out, roll my eyes into the back of my head while jiggling them, open my mouth gaping wide, and my whole body begins to loosen up and tighten sporadically, making it quite difficult to interact with people because I'm becoming disinhibited. That disinhibition also makes me very vulnerable to just about anything because I am too focused on trying to manage myself that outside influences become a backseat to my mind (I could see myself getting convinced into a lot of things easily). If you were to watch me in my bed, I would be writhing and groveling in the bed for 45 minutes. Eventually it becomes so intense that my body is submerged into a sea of energetic flows and all I can do is let the waves take me. Overall, this is a form of disinhibition I am not sure how to utilize or where to utilize it, thus making it uncomfortable for me.

Part 2:
However, once I hit the peak, in about 15 minutes everything has calmed down and I can settle into a shiny glowing world of eased interactions, empathetic feelings for people, and my whole body cooperatively becomes energetically tense and the waves of energy focus into a localized buzzing in my groin and head area. It's akin to the feeling of a peaked moderate dose of meth alongside a quarter tab of acid (such is the effect of a psychedelic amphetamine). This is where things become comfortable enough for me and I can utilize this in social environments.

With that:
1. Is part 1 the norm for everyone? Do you enjoy it? How do you utilize it to maximize enjoyment?
2. Is part 2 the norm for everyone? Do you enjoy it? How do you utilize it to maximize enjoyment?
3. Which do you prefer?

 

[Clocktower]

This does not sound like MDMA. Which reagent/reagents did you use to test it?

 

[glotrip]

The last one on 55mg was with a Mandelin, immediately went very dark blue then to black over 1 minute. But I can assure you this happens every time on MDMA, regardless of form: I've had it with pure crystals, moonrocks, sandy 70% powder, presses, and every time I make sure to test it with a kit. I toss it if it does not come out with what I'm looking for.

-Methylone comes up as smooth as a hot knife through butter.
-MDA is a very smooth 2-hour come-up for me
-6-APB and 6-APDB's come-up tends to be very nauseating but otherwise does not cause the spazzing out
-5-APB is benign and soft to me so I don't partake in it
-5-MAPB is CLOSE but it's more meth-like in quality and less psychedelic for me
-Piperazines are a waste of time so I don't even touch them

It's definitely only MDMA that does it to me.

 

[Clocktower]

Assuming you are very sensitive, the effects you report sound like they might be from a dose that is too high for you. If you want an experience that is more like 'the norm,' all I can suggest is sticking to the low end of your dose range.

 

[Achten]

I experience the first part soemtimes as well, although not with MDMA but psychedelics.

I use some basic yoga asanas to guide the energy, feels great ! Even lying on your back on a flat surface with arms and legs spread and just focusing on your breathing helps a lot !

 

[terarc]

It seems strange to me that even very high sensitivity would lead to overwhelming effects at ~50mg doses. I mean threshold is 30mg ish. It makes me think either this is not MDMA (although I see you did test it) or maybe you're taking so little that it isn't really working properly? In my and others experiences there is an MDMA 'breakthrough' dose at around 120-150mg. Taking less than this often results in jittery anxiety and confusion as you are not properly launched into the MDMA experience but just feel fleeting stutters of weak effects.

 

[glotrip]

I would like to believe that the 120-150mg is the sweet spot, but the first time that I took MDMA (and superbly high quality, crystal clear and tested out straight to black on both Marquis and Mandelin, I'd say near 99%), I took 130mg orally. As this increased over the course of an hour, the same progression happened as I explained above but without the sporadic movements. Unfortunately, my RESTING heart rate while LAYING DOWN was 150bpm and I was so overwhelmed by the effects that I went straight to my festival tent and laid down for the next 6 hours trying to breathe and relax, and while laying down with eyes closed I had intense shimmering OBE's. About two hours in a friend of mine came into the tent who was rolling on 4-FA and told me how thankful she was for me and proceeded to cuddle with me and rub me down. I was so out of it that I barely paid attention to her rubbing my hands and kept forgetting she was there. I know that was way too much for me. Overall I think MDMA/empathogens have never really rung a strong bell with me.

I believe that I do get the same effects as many people do, but my interpretation and decision of how to enjoy it alters my enjoyability of it. I highly prefer the non-forceful euphoria of psychedelics; if I want to be happy or sad or questioning or hesitant, psychedelics allow me to amplify that. With empathogen/entactogens, it's always a guaranteed good feeling and no-worries feeling. I am sure that's where my mentality makes the experience different.

What is this breakthrough effect you're talking of terarc?

 

[terarc]

The breakthrough is a point where you are fully absorbed by the experience and leave objective reality to be totally absorbed in the MDMA 'world', I find this harder to achieve the more you take MDMA though. I only fully had this experience the first few times I took MDMA.

If you are getting such intense effects from 130mg have you considered that you may be one of the rare few who struggles to metabolise MDMA properly? If that was the case it would probably be best if you didn't take it. Or are you taking any medications at all?

 

[glotrip]

I think I'm getting exactly the effects of the breakthrough from the way you're explaining it, but I have willingly decided that "that" world isn't for me. No meds, 125 lbs super fast metabolism. I figured it out.