Yeah, I forgot those but I think I also suffered that, specially the second. I also convinced myself for too long.
I'm orienting myself into sober state, now when I'm a couple days totally sober (including coffee, kratom.. so on) sometimes I feel like I'm tripping, is like,... in a way I'm feeling that I scape the sober state because it's too intense for me, like a super intense trip. Life has become that way for me, lucidity is the greatest psychoactive sometimes, but ironically one can feel that coming off substances that work as patches. In anycase now when I use psychedelics I mostly feel "normal" in a way, in terms of headspace, which I consider it to be some kind of "evolution", so to speak, surely you get what I mean.
I do like plants, like plants without an obvious psychoactivity, like scutellaria or jatamansi, seems more like meditation tools. In a way I think every substance can be a meditation or praying tool if used properly.