yoUr bLiSS
Bluelighter
where's my head at???
where's my head at???
my take on the basement jaxx
and my theme song for friday night
through saturday afternoon
it's 2:00 p.m sunday
i just woke up from a 15 hour coma
my lips are all chewed up
but the inside of my mouth is worse
my hands are trembling
and my head's a mess
what got me to this state?
let me see...
it started friday night
with a couple of beers
in the parking lot at the arena
my friends picked me up
and it's off to the martini lounge
there i get handed a little bag
of evil white powder
i've seen the souls sucked out of my friends
leaving merely walking skeletons
due to this evil white powder
everyone is going to roll
they know i don't want to
i just did last weekend
so a few bumps of this "evil" stuff
should do me pretty well
2 bumps and a beer later
we leave the club and head back over to red
by now i'm flying high
slightly buzzed and full of amazing energy
i run ahead of my friends into the club
and there he is
all beautiful and grand
for the next hour
i dance my heart and soul away
go-go boxes and all
i make my way upstairs
free bubbling glasses of champaigne
i sit down inspired to write
what turns into a 7 cocktail napkin story
about how much i hate this new place
a friend comes up to find me there
asking for the "evil" stuff
so it's off to the bathroom stall
one more bump won't hurt me
luckily after that i drop the bag
and most of it spills
"god dammnit!" i scream
(a hidden blessing in disguise)
the night goes on
cigarettes and fiesty conversation
red bull and vodka
all with that lingering boy
4:00 a.m. club closes
after party!!!! after party!!!!
first thought to be at my friend tracy's house
it turns out to be at the kingdom of all "evil"
the house full of dead souls
and the lost little boy i haven't seen in ages
i walk in strong
strong and fucked up that is
knowing i won't touch any more "evil"
seeing these people solidifies the decision
and i don't see the point
once you've left the club
i get handed a "special" cookie
which i have to choke down
wow! they really do work!
it's about 5:00 a.m.
everyone is going to drop.
what??? now???
my lost little boy is sober(for once)
and leaving for work
i am saddened by this
so i take the stupid pill
against my better judgement
(where's my head at???)
the next few hours i must admit
are insane wild fun
i haven't rolled like this in ages
we turn the apartment into a rave
with a trance, house and jungle room
i nominate dj's
and make up v.i.p. passes
once all this all begins to wind down
ketamine pays us a visit
while walking through my parallel universe
my little boy comes home
has that much time passed already????
he joins me in this universe
and there we play for awhile
by now it's late saturday afternoon
the walking skeletons offer me a line
"no thank you" i sweetly reply.
this is when i usually freak out
my close group of friends have since left
i still can't see straight
(very, very, very strong pill)
and all i want is my bed and my cat
security
comfort
soberness
to be away from all these drugs
and all this madness
an hour or so later i feel ok to drive
yet by now i am dead tired
but i can't sleep at this place
not with these angry scary tweekers
a "friend" shows up
he's taking my little boy to spundae tonight
this friend has coke
i have little experience with coke
it never seemed to do much for me
he says if i take a little bit
it will wake me back up
and then i'll be able to drive home
and go to bed
wanting nothing more then to be home
i agree
half an hour later
i am awake and on my way home
once home
showered and clean
i attempt to eat
and the food makes me sick
i think back on what i have done to myself
in order of ingestion:
alcohol
"evil"
more alcohol
more "evil"
pot
ecstacy
ketamine
cocaine
what the fuck!!!!!!
where's my head at????
put into this perspective
it scares the shit out of me
that's some concoction there.
i finally fall asleep
and wake up fifteen hours later
so this is where i'm at
i'm hungry
i'm shaking
i'm pissed off at myself
i'm making a vow never to do this again
that is until next weekend....
WHERE'S MY HEAD AT????
where's my head at???
where's my head at???
where's my head at???
my take on the basement jaxx
and my theme song for friday night
through saturday afternoon
it's 2:00 p.m sunday
i just woke up from a 15 hour coma
my lips are all chewed up
but the inside of my mouth is worse
my hands are trembling
and my head's a mess
what got me to this state?
let me see...
it started friday night
with a couple of beers
in the parking lot at the arena
my friends picked me up
and it's off to the martini lounge
there i get handed a little bag
of evil white powder
i've seen the souls sucked out of my friends
leaving merely walking skeletons
due to this evil white powder
everyone is going to roll
they know i don't want to
i just did last weekend
so a few bumps of this "evil" stuff
should do me pretty well
2 bumps and a beer later
we leave the club and head back over to red
by now i'm flying high
slightly buzzed and full of amazing energy
i run ahead of my friends into the club
and there he is
all beautiful and grand
for the next hour
i dance my heart and soul away
go-go boxes and all
i make my way upstairs
free bubbling glasses of champaigne
i sit down inspired to write
what turns into a 7 cocktail napkin story
about how much i hate this new place
a friend comes up to find me there
asking for the "evil" stuff
so it's off to the bathroom stall
one more bump won't hurt me
luckily after that i drop the bag
and most of it spills
"god dammnit!" i scream
(a hidden blessing in disguise)
the night goes on
cigarettes and fiesty conversation
red bull and vodka
all with that lingering boy
4:00 a.m. club closes
after party!!!! after party!!!!
first thought to be at my friend tracy's house
it turns out to be at the kingdom of all "evil"
the house full of dead souls
and the lost little boy i haven't seen in ages
i walk in strong
strong and fucked up that is
knowing i won't touch any more "evil"
seeing these people solidifies the decision
and i don't see the point
once you've left the club
i get handed a "special" cookie
which i have to choke down
wow! they really do work!
it's about 5:00 a.m.
everyone is going to drop.
what??? now???
my lost little boy is sober(for once)
and leaving for work
i am saddened by this
so i take the stupid pill
against my better judgement
(where's my head at???)
the next few hours i must admit
are insane wild fun
i haven't rolled like this in ages
we turn the apartment into a rave
with a trance, house and jungle room
i nominate dj's
and make up v.i.p. passes
once all this all begins to wind down
ketamine pays us a visit
while walking through my parallel universe
my little boy comes home
has that much time passed already????
he joins me in this universe
and there we play for awhile
by now it's late saturday afternoon
the walking skeletons offer me a line
"no thank you" i sweetly reply.
this is when i usually freak out
my close group of friends have since left
i still can't see straight
(very, very, very strong pill)
and all i want is my bed and my cat
security
comfort
soberness
to be away from all these drugs
and all this madness
an hour or so later i feel ok to drive
yet by now i am dead tired
but i can't sleep at this place
not with these angry scary tweekers
a "friend" shows up
he's taking my little boy to spundae tonight
this friend has coke
i have little experience with coke
it never seemed to do much for me
he says if i take a little bit
it will wake me back up
and then i'll be able to drive home
and go to bed
wanting nothing more then to be home
i agree
half an hour later
i am awake and on my way home
once home
showered and clean
i attempt to eat
and the food makes me sick
i think back on what i have done to myself
in order of ingestion:
alcohol
"evil"
more alcohol
more "evil"
pot
ecstacy
ketamine
cocaine
what the fuck!!!!!!
where's my head at????
put into this perspective
it scares the shit out of me
that's some concoction there.
i finally fall asleep
and wake up fifteen hours later
so this is where i'm at
i'm hungry
i'm shaking
i'm pissed off at myself
i'm making a vow never to do this again
that is until next weekend....
WHERE'S MY HEAD AT????
where's my head at???
where's my head at???
Ill ignore the refference to that god-awful song but god damn thats a fair bit o drugs.be careful darls,we dont want to have to put up a memorial for you just after the one for quicksilver. my worst binge was a six day alcohol binge with acid and e thrown in half way through, and "wheres my head at?" is fairly close to what I was saying by the end of it, just with cleaner language. once again your amazing writing has pulled me into your world and I thank you for it, but pleeeeease be carful ok 
*hugs*