This may not make sense if you read this before part 1. Although none if it my make any sense anyway. I'm really not a very good writer, but what the hell.
On Nov 3rd 1988 Margo and myself (Frank) married. We we're madly in love, and the first 7-8 years of our lives together we're a dream.
As you read in part 1 our lives were a challenge for the next 7-8 years to say the least. So many things happened during that period I only mentioned a few of the bigger things. Not even going into the financial part or many, many others. After all this is a blog not a novel. The main issue being my wives illness. Many times I thought during that period that wish my wife had cancer or some other more well known disease, rather then not really knowing for sure what she had or what the prognosis would be. It always worried me that the doctors weren't doing the right thing as they didn't know what she had in the first place. Although at Leyhe clinic outside of Boston in late 03 set her up on a regiment of IV treatments that did seem to slow down the disease for a while. But still the bottom line was her Immune system was attacking and killing her. Plus with numerous other health problems, COPD in her lungs, a bad heart valve to name a few.
By the time June 3rd 2003 came along I was using pain killers everyday. Taking Methadone, and snorting whatever else that was snort-able. Later in the year of 2003 Dilaudid was around and snorting that worked barely enough in keeping me going until this year. I was running on fumes after June of 03. Then on the other hand it was probably running me down even more. But their is no way I could have gone through quitting while trying to deal with that at the same time. We had almost zero support then. I was also trying to hold down a good job that is 48 miles each way. needing to keep that insurance going.
It was at that point when I started to plan on how and when to quit the opiates. My wife knew I was taking some of it, but I handled all her drugs by June of 03. So she really had no clue.
How was I able to take all I did without my wife going without? Filling the scripts on day 24-25 of a 30 day supple, and with my wife in and out of the hospital as much as she was, it was quite easy.
So when and how to quit. The when was an easy choice, when the drugs ran out. Since June of 03 I realize now I started subconsciously to prepare myself for grieving. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that my soul mate was not going to grow old with me, and their was nothing me or anyone could do to change it. We could only make everyday we had together as good as we could. I truly learned what it means not to take anything for granted. Just the simple act of holding hands, scratching each others backs, or even just talk to each other.
On Nov 3rd 1988 Margo and myself (Frank) married. We we're madly in love, and the first 7-8 years of our lives together we're a dream.
As you read in part 1 our lives were a challenge for the next 7-8 years to say the least. So many things happened during that period I only mentioned a few of the bigger things. Not even going into the financial part or many, many others. After all this is a blog not a novel. The main issue being my wives illness. Many times I thought during that period that wish my wife had cancer or some other more well known disease, rather then not really knowing for sure what she had or what the prognosis would be. It always worried me that the doctors weren't doing the right thing as they didn't know what she had in the first place. Although at Leyhe clinic outside of Boston in late 03 set her up on a regiment of IV treatments that did seem to slow down the disease for a while. But still the bottom line was her Immune system was attacking and killing her. Plus with numerous other health problems, COPD in her lungs, a bad heart valve to name a few.
By the time June 3rd 2003 came along I was using pain killers everyday. Taking Methadone, and snorting whatever else that was snort-able. Later in the year of 2003 Dilaudid was around and snorting that worked barely enough in keeping me going until this year. I was running on fumes after June of 03. Then on the other hand it was probably running me down even more. But their is no way I could have gone through quitting while trying to deal with that at the same time. We had almost zero support then. I was also trying to hold down a good job that is 48 miles each way. needing to keep that insurance going.
It was at that point when I started to plan on how and when to quit the opiates. My wife knew I was taking some of it, but I handled all her drugs by June of 03. So she really had no clue.
How was I able to take all I did without my wife going without? Filling the scripts on day 24-25 of a 30 day supple, and with my wife in and out of the hospital as much as she was, it was quite easy.
So when and how to quit. The when was an easy choice, when the drugs ran out. Since June of 03 I realize now I started subconsciously to prepare myself for grieving. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that my soul mate was not going to grow old with me, and their was nothing me or anyone could do to change it. We could only make everyday we had together as good as we could. I truly learned what it means not to take anything for granted. Just the simple act of holding hands, scratching each others backs, or even just talk to each other.