I just can't believe I threw it all away again. Was doing well in college made a couple dumb decisions now I'm stuck in my .parents house no money or job. I never thought I was done with heroin. But I never thought I would get hooked like this again. Been really suicidal lately. All these people die from smack all the time. Why can't i? It's really not fair. I would rather be dead than keep feeling like this. I got a dose of 2-cb I am going to down tonight or tomorrow sit around and try to put it all together. Without some large revelation It's not gonna end well. Like at what point. Can I say "hey shit I tried I fought the good fight but it was just a little too much for me. Can't deal with the pressure without opiates.
Hey I know it's bleak to be where you are...I was there 14 yrs ago. I saw no way out. I did something stupid and saw how badly I hurt my loved ones.
Get on methadone...I did and straightened my life out. I'm opiate free now, which is truly a fucken miracle.
Don't lose faith...
Get on methadone...I did and straightened my life out. I'm opiate free now, which is truly a fucken miracle.
Don't lose faith...
Well apperantly I'm not getting on methadone. 15 dollars a day is just too expensive. That's what both clinics in my area charge. It amazes me that in the wealthiest country on earth I am going to die for a lack off access to treatment. But I don't even fucking care starting tommorow I am on a new mission.
^Have you tried kratom. It doesn't work for everybody but its cheap as dirt and worth a try. You certainly wont be anywhere near 15 bucks a day.
Yeah, my clinic was 65 bucks a week yrs ago...but wouldn't you spend 15 bucks a day on dope?
Yeah I quit my job on a whim so I wouldn't have money for dope. Moved back in with my parents who think I should just quit. They mean well but haven't quite grasped the fact that a have a illness that is killing me. They basically just hear a bunch of anti maintenance propaganda and don't understand the truth. So there not gonna help me foot the bill. It's a silly situation cause I only have 16 more mg of bupe. So I'm gonna get a job get back on dope and try to keep my habit at 100 dollars a week.
Well...every junkie sez stuff like "I'll only use 100 a week" or "I'll only smoke it", but in no time at all they are shooting eight bags a day.
Your really better off on methadone...methadone is a lot more satisfying than sub.
And it seems like my tolerance never really went up on meth...but dope, yikes!
Your really better off on methadone...methadone is a lot more satisfying than sub.
And it seems like my tolerance never really went up on meth...but dope, yikes!