• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

Where do you find friends?

What sort of hobbies do you have? When I moved across the country, I found a few friends while I was looking to start up a band. I tried out for a few, and eventually found another guitarist who I clicked well with and we became good friends. There are groups for pretty much anything you're into if you search around the internet or your community.
 
I have more good friends than I do fingers. This is even with some rather annoying interferences still not able to prevent myself from having the quality and quantity of this quality of friends. I moved in HS after starting to make my first real group of friends, and man they were good friends. So good in fact that in those two years we grew close to each other that moving to Texas my 11th grade year didn't effect the relationships I had. I even made one of my best friends while I was over 1000 miles away from him. We'd talk often enough and had so many quality conversations that being ok friends before I left turned into him being one of my 3 best friends once high school ended. I moved back to NC and immediately meshed back into my old group of friends and this just turned into a quality friend making group. I ended up becoming good friends with my three best friends friends, and it went out from there. This gave me confidence to eventually break out and overcome my social anxiety by making new friends from individuals with no relation to any of my other friends.

Sadly I dropped out of college after my third year and had to move back to texas due to money issues, so I'm back in the same spot of having plenty of friends, but no one around. Plenty of relationships still getting stronger because of keeping up with my old friends, but I've had no luck in meeting people here. I've had no luck through work and since my parents live in a middle class neighborhood, there really isn't much of a way to meet people my age here. Hopefully I'll be moving back away from texas come august, so this doesn't become a bigger deal, but I do feel your pain.
 
I should also point out that friends are self-limiting in the sense that maintaining relationships requires effort. Having friends means getting called for favours, but it also means you can call on someone else for them. So it is a double-edged sword, but it's part & parcel.
 
With the exception of college, I've only ever made new friends through work or existing friends. I didn't make any close friends in high school (ie., people that I still talk to more than once a month) with the exception of my boyfriend who I'm still with. I talk on a monthly basis to 2 people from college - that's it. All the other friends I've made and currently hang out with are through work- either coworkers or friends of coworkers that I hit it off with. For a while it really got me down that I wasn't able to spontaneously and randomly make new friends on my own- but then I realized that no one really does that and there's nothing wrong with depending on school/work/existing friends to meet new people. I mean I do meet people at bars and parties and talk to them - I'm not a total introvert and I can engage random people in fun conversation- but that 99.9% of the time does not become a friendship unless I also have other connections to those random people such as mutual friends.
 
I don't hang out with a whole lot of people anymore either, not that I'm unhappy but still it's nice to have people to talk to.. so hell maybe we can meet some people with this thread can't hurt to try. The only drug I've really done in the last year is mainly kratom since I'm on probation, and I was so bad into drugs before getting my life together that I mainly only talked to drug buddies before you know?? Isolation from drugs definitely plays a major part.

24/male/bel air, maryland
 
I would say work contributed to most of my friends. I think some people do other social events like church or clubs.
 
I meet people through other friends. Some I make friends with because they interest me and ultimately I had a good time with.
Some I keep as people I have been around before and say hi and smile if I see them elsewhere.

The groundwork started with being lightly social with work colleagues. I would meet their friends.
I joined match.com in 2004 to meet female friends when I felt I had exhausted my options with the work social.
I don't like to have personal relationships with the people I work with.
 
It's funny you mentioned a dating site, I met some crazy girls on dating sites and will never be on one again lol

The first girl was fucking crazy when i met her within 15 minutes she was talking about moving in together and was trying to plan all these crazy trips and family get togethers with me.. when I told her I wasn't interested an hour later (i was really nice about it and just said that I didn't see things going further and it would be weird to continue the date at this point but we could be friends) she told me to stop the car halfway down her driveway (she had a long, narrow driveway).. she got out of the car in HYSTERICS screaming about how she's never good enough, hurls her purse back into the woods and starts having this crazy hizzy fit pouncing on the ground.. I considered comforting her at first but was like damn this bitch is crazy so I threw it in reverse and flew down her driveway backwards haha when I looked forward she was running towards my car with her hands in the air

Next girl was nothing exciting to tell a story about just boooooring

The last girl I'll ever meet like that was alright at first I thought she was pretty cool... until an hour after meeting her in the middle of dinner she blurted out that she's on prozac....... aaaaaaand she has genital herpes 8o
 
i don't really care too much about making too many new friends cause it is very hard to build the type of bond that is worthy of everlasting friendship but if you are interested in meeting new people just be sociable, happy, upbeat, and talk to people who seem interesting, likeable, etc. you'd be surprised at how many people are happy to have a stranger talk to them. sometimes i am in really good moods and talk to alot of people sometimes im not and feel like a hermit. don't stress too much about it. play sports, take classes, etc. you'll meet people. just don't be too desperate lol
 
Funny some chic i met like a yr ago called my cell non stop last night, online friends always turn out wacked imo
 
Except the fact that she hits me up still trying to hang out. She was weird trust me she was def on prozac. And I feel bad for her it was the first guy she was with that gave her herpes... not bad enough to be with her and catch it though
actually unless she was displaying you're pretty much good to go - it's men that are the spreaders of herpes, displaying or not.
 
I have friends who serve different purposes.

There is the coworker who is good for going to get a drink.
The coworker whose house I can go to for a drink, watch a movie, and hang out with his roommates.
The single mom I can meet for tea or random conversation.
The yoga community who we can communicate when I choose to take part in those events.

There are a few people who are versatile and I can put a request out there, such as - want to go see this band and art opening? And there might be a 10% chance they would say yes. The point is that I can ask them and we feel connected whether they go or not (I know that sounds weird).

Also, ex-boyfriends are always in agreement to go get coffee or something. 8)

I have been planning for a long time (it's on my list) to go to this once-weekly english-speaking "international" cafe. I live in a diverse college town and people are always looking to improve their english.
It's important that I go because I'm looking to improve my dating life. Bam
 
Top