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Where can people make friends? I'm lonely.

shahab6 said:
you can try craigslist to, there's a section for platonic friends. I know a lot of people who found a lot of cool people there..
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Craigslist doesn't work for everyone. Sometimes nothing you ever post shows up. (Can anyone help me with that??)
 
lynx2051 said:
I've just recently lost my job but the people there were too old, like early thirties.
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Hey there whippersnapper!
you cheeky little northern space monkey.
id be offended if you werent a wee sprog.
still, ditch that tone of fucking phrase my son, before it lands you in trouble or prevents any further lonelinessi!!
beggars cant be choosers and it sounds like you aint in a position to be picky.
l have you know i know some wicked little fellas and fellesses, mostly friends kids who are in their late teens,
they are fun wise and socially skilled and able to hang with us lot as equals...
take a long hard look at yo self if you think that the number representing how many years weve been on this earth,
bears any relevance to how wise, fun, friendly, approachable, knowledgeable, affable, gregarious, or cool a person is,
nor does it bear any significance to who can be your friend...
and dont even suggest for a minute that you could even dream of keeping up with us hardened battle scarred weekend warriors!
i might just wet my pants....

all tongue in cheek you understand there sonny jim.
but a slap of perspective to your boat race nonetheless!
dont ostricize me before you know me!!
 
It's easy to make friends. It's not easy to make good friends. Look into the friends you had before you became alone. Try to see who you might be able to spark conversation with. Also, take time to figure out what you're looking for in a friend and search for those things when you talk to people wherever you are.
 
shahab6 said:
What guy goes to a club, and gets some random guys phone number?

I have never seen it happened. Also my point was most guys are not interested in making a friend at clubs. Most go to talk to other girls. And the ones that don't, usually come with a group of guys already.
I was not trying to be homophobic, I'm just talking about the reality of the situation. And my point was clubs are not the right place to find friends
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What??? Where the hell did you get the phone number bit? I said nothing about getting a phone number. I simply said TALKING to another guy in public. And how ISN'T it homophobic to suggest that one guy can't talk to another guy at a bar/club without it coming off as gay? You seem pretty presumptuous.

Again, if you can't talk to someone of the same gender in public without being worried that you're coming off gay... you have more problems to deal with than simply making friends. You need to work on your social skills as a whole before you try establishing any sort of relationship, platonic or otherwise, with anyone.
 
about 99% of guys at clubs would think that was weird.

get a job or go rock climbing or something

post an add on craigslist lol
 
undead said:
What??? Where the hell did you get the phone number bit? I said nothing about getting a phone number. I simply said TALKING to another guy in public. And how ISN'T it homophobic to suggest that one guy can't talk to another guy at a bar/club without it coming off as gay? You seem pretty presumptuous.

Again, if you can't talk to someone of the same gender in public without being worried that you're coming off gay... you have more problems to deal with than simply making friends. You need to work on your social skills as a whole before you try establishing any sort of relationship, platonic or otherwise, with anyone.
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He wants to make friends, so in order for him to make friend, he needs to ask for the guys phone number..
Btw I wasn't talking about simplying talking to another guy, I was talking about to make a friend. Thats fine, its not a big deal, but no one gets another guys number in a clubs,. At least not in la..
 
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Just to splash this thread with a bit of cold water.

This is Bluelight, a board full of neo-liberal druggies who wear their hearts on their sleeves. Further, this is the internet, where things are always easier said than done.

OP, making new friends is difficult, especially if you're particular. And the truth is, most people are particular and it becomes worse as you get older. So don't get discouraged too much. The best thing you can do, is join an activity you think you can contribute to (sports, hobby, special interest) and make yourself visible. Get to know the people, and stick it out because groups can be cliquey, and new people aren't always welcomed as warmly as they are on Bluelight.

You're young. Find an activity with a bit of an older crowd and you'll fit right in. There, you will find people willing to chalk up any personal faults as simple growing pains. People your own age are retarded.
 
shahab6 said:
He wants to make friends, so in order for him to make friend, he needs to ask for the guys phone number..
Btw I wasn't talking about simplying talking to another guy, I was talking about to make a friend. Thats fine, its not a big deal, but no one gets another guys number in a clubs,. At least not in la..
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Becoming friends doesn't always happen with one exchange... in other words... you DON'T have to get/give a phone number. You can invite someone to hang out without giving off the impression that you're sexually interested. Social interaction can be intimidating, sure, but the actual process of meeting someone is not THAT complex. Exchanging phone numbers the first time you meet someone isn't a requirement to being friends. I've got friends who's numbers I don't know and I've got numbers of people that I wouldn't consider friends.

Besides that... how's DOES it work? If you get a guys number at a club, you're gay, if you get a guys number at a football game, you're straight? Not sure I quite understand the rule.
 
Number Love said:
Dude don't let age or anything come in the way of becoming friends with someone.
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I agree;; I have a lot of friends that are SO different than me. Be open-minded. You could make some really good friends that you wouldn't otherwise because you're too busy worrying about age/looks/etc. ;)
 
I also agree with the age barrier!

One of my closest and most truley caring girlfriends I met in Memphis was the same age as my parents! But I loved hanging out with her, we met through work and she enjoyed the same extra curricular activities, and I could talk to her openly and she felt like family.

I have also come to meet some pretty wonderful people in my area through bluelight. BUT PLEASE BE CAREFUL. Its up to you to make the decision to meet up with another bluelighter, and I've had some great meet-ups. Bluelight is how I met the one and only Swerlz, who is now my love. But make sure you get to know the person online first and all that jazz. And if you are not sure take advantage of the community atmosphere here at bluelight and ask any of us if we know much about an individual you are interested in meeting.

Just be safe!
 
undead said:
Besides that... how's DOES it work? If you get a guys number at a club, you're gay, if you get a guys number at a football game, you're straight? Not sure I quite understand the rule.
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IDk i just think its weird, Im just giving my opionion to the OP.
PLus chances of seeing the same person at the club again is pretty low, at theres a lot of clubs, and not everyone go to clubs everyweek. If you want to see them again, u have ask there number.
Again as i said, I believe making friends at a club is not a good idea, but idk maybe it is..
 
i was out yesterday at a club/bar in LA and met a really cool couple. my husband and the dude exchanged numbers. i am guessing we will see them again, either at the same club or another day party. i also exchanged numbers with a hairstylist who invited us out to a party later that evening.
 
^ my gf and i were out at a bar one time and found a friendly couple as well, they brought us back to their house, we smoked a few joints and i'm positive they just wanted to fuck us lol. We ended up leaving after they conveniently couldn't find their phone and the wife became aggressive, we were weirded out. ended up having the cops drive us home as they lived in the middle of nowhere, fucked up night. If they were a different couple i would have just went for it but they were strange. Saw them at a grocery store a month or so later and hid from them, glad we moved.
 
Clubbing can be weird especially if you aren't much of a drinker. Often music is so loud you go deaf so not a great place to converse. Also people seem to want to go as groups out and only chat with each other. Try the gym, library, or any interest group.
 
shahab6 said:
IDk i just think its weird, Im just giving my opionion to the OP.
PLus chances of seeing the same person at the club again is pretty low, at theres a lot of clubs, and not everyone go to clubs everyweek. If you want to see them again, u have ask there number.
Again as i said, I believe making friends at a club is not a good idea, but idk maybe it is..
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I respect that.

It's all perspective. I don't find anything gay at all about a guy getting another guy's number at a club or sporting event or whatever. If anyone does, that's their problem. I guess my thought is that if people are so unwilling to make friends of the same sex because they're afraid of how it appears on them, they're probably not the types of people I wanna be friends with anyways.

On the other hand, if I go up to a guy at a club and say "hey I like to fuck guys, what's your number?" I could understand how they could take that to be that I'm gay.
 
Number Love said:
Dude don't let age or anything come in the way of becoming friends with someone.

People are people, a good way to make friends is by going out of your way to try to make friends. Spark conversations with lots of random people, wherever you are! and just act really friendly. Some people won't respond positively, but just forget about them! A lot of people are lonely too and you'd be surprised how many other people love making friends!

The problem is when you make too many friends and you'll have to prioritize them, always hard. So hey, that's a bonus of not having friends, you don't really have anyone to disappoint, except yourself, haha.
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Word!

My closest friendships have started as mentoring type relationships, almost by definition with significant age differences. I have benefitted both as the mentee (with an older mentor) and tried to pass this on. It is amazing (and sad) how many males in particular have lacked this type of role model, even when their fathers were present but absent (if you know what I mean).

Recently, I tried to introduce a close mate 20 years my junior with no real father figure in his life (who grabbed on to me as a father figure far too readily! I still thought we were mates enjoying social interests and getting quite close when he blurted that out. I was both touched and appalled; I am not THAT old!) to another 'lost' young bloke I knew on the basis that my mate would enjoy mentoring someone else.

Didn't really work out as they both had different issues but then realised my younger mate had unconsciously started mentoring me on some significant life issues (one of which was drugs)...

The point being: As others have said, if you put yourself out there, meaningful connections happen in all shapes and sometimes from the most unexpected quarters.
 
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