This week is business as usual. Forty five hour work weeks back to back to back. It wouldn't be so bad if it were not for the fact that my days are split into doubles, giving me the hours I need but taking up my entire day in the process. This leaves me with very little free time. I guess when you work in the food service industry these kind of things just come with the territory. I know I can not live the rest of my life slaving away in a kitchen, never really going anywhere. I wish that I could be more passionate about the work that I do but after working in restaurants for more then a decade now, I feel physically and mentally drained. Going back to school seems to be the only solution to my problem. I just have no idea what other career options would suit me. Deep down I know that I was meant to do something much more meaningful then this.
When asked what my interests or passions are, the only things that really come to mind are nature and animals. I am not the most social individual when it comes to talking/relating with other human beings. I can be on the rare occasion I am in the mood, but most of the time I like to keep to myself and my thoughts. It is like I am living in the same universe as everyone else around me but on a different dimension. I read that in "Water for Elephants", the book I am currently reading and it really stood out to me. I like to tune everything out while I am at work. Just put in my headphones and try to go about my day ignoring all of the gossip, stress, and meaningless bullshit that I have to listen to on a regular basis. It helps but I can still feel the tension. I guess that is one way to describe it, or the way that I perceive it at least.
So much work comes with trying to start over. I wish I could sell all of my belongings and move somewhere that I could just live off the land and be one with nature and all that. this to me seems very unrealistic. I would not last a day as I have never had to hunt for food, seek shelter, deal with the elements without a solid roof over my head, etc. I don't know much, but I do know one thing for sure. I can't go on living this way.
When asked what my interests or passions are, the only things that really come to mind are nature and animals. I am not the most social individual when it comes to talking/relating with other human beings. I can be on the rare occasion I am in the mood, but most of the time I like to keep to myself and my thoughts. It is like I am living in the same universe as everyone else around me but on a different dimension. I read that in "Water for Elephants", the book I am currently reading and it really stood out to me. I like to tune everything out while I am at work. Just put in my headphones and try to go about my day ignoring all of the gossip, stress, and meaningless bullshit that I have to listen to on a regular basis. It helps but I can still feel the tension. I guess that is one way to describe it, or the way that I perceive it at least.
So much work comes with trying to start over. I wish I could sell all of my belongings and move somewhere that I could just live off the land and be one with nature and all that. this to me seems very unrealistic. I would not last a day as I have never had to hunt for food, seek shelter, deal with the elements without a solid roof over my head, etc. I don't know much, but I do know one thing for sure. I can't go on living this way.