When you look in the mirror....

[theartofwar]

What do you see ?

I honestly know and have been told I am kind and caring to others, I love to help others I'n tough times, love be with people n the bad and the good.

But the mirror, any self reflection.. it absolutely makes me LOOK and see the truth. If I was a twin of me, I wouldn't not only hang out with myself. I would keep my distance. This troubles me, why is it my own self hatred can see the good, but when it comes to caring for mysel I simply do not like myself anymore. I'ts affecting my relationship and I truly feel sofucking awful. She deserves better, but has been an absolute rock for me.

I am dying to snap out of this. I know I can , but I am making poor chioices.

 

[TINK]

I don't know you, but hve you tried a change of environment. Get away from friends and family and get the help you need?

 

[theartofwar]

I took off at 17 moved to tampa.

came back for college, moved away lived in my house for 2 years (not family, my house).

I am looking to do the same. My heart murmur may be able to be fixed - in which case ill join marines maybe. I need fucking help, structure , and 'm very anal about discipline with my contest w lifting.