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When to say 'Yes'?

Z

ZombieK

Bluelighter
Joined
May 4, 2012
Messages
55
Location
California
Ive been talking with this guy for a little over a month and we see each other all the time now and have slept together.
We are also on not seeing other people terms. He has asked me to be his girlfriend but I worry its to soon.. How long should I wait to
say yes when we are already close, have slept/spent the night together, and hes over quite a lot?
 
maybe wait a month and a day? no? then wait a month and two days, etc.

it's all arbitrary. what are you worried about? talk to him.

alasdair
 
ZombieK, this is one of those things where you have to go with your gut. If you trust him and you think he's a good match for you, then go for it.
 
I really don't want to be "that guy"
So this is what I got:

You have slept together.

He hasn't gone insane and killed you. (contrary to popular belief most men don't kill people)

Be his girlfriend.

Because what have you got to lose? An Internet relationship takes the plunge knowing less about a person.

You might lose some time in your life, that's worth some potential happiness.
 
If it feels right, just do it.

Doubt can feed upon itself, until you have nothing but it. If you move forward and ask, he may reciprocate the love; If he agrees to that officiation then your doubt can be cast aside.

Do not let doubt become a heavy weight slung over your back. Soon you will become pained to the point of no return. Then a love lost will become a regret. It is always better to regret--some--something you have done.
 
Damn it's not like you are getting engaged or anything. If you are agreeing not to fuck other people then in my mind you are already his gf.
 
In my mind, if you're not seeing other people (like you've agreed upon that), then you're basically his girlfriend.
But everyone has different ideas of what makes girlfriend/boyfriend. My bf and I didn't officially call each other boyfriend/girlfriend until we'd been seeing each other and sleeping with each other for a few months. Although that was probably because I just got out of a relationship.

Good luck in telling him :)
 
I agree with the above posters. Once you agree on sexual exclusivity its a defacto relationship (at least in my book), whether it has the label or not you're already showing a pretty considerable level of commitment to the other person. As long as you both know that you aren't sleeping with anyone else than putting a title on it isn't really necessary unless you really want to. But in my experience, at least from seeing other people (I jump in to stuff way too fast) usually around the 4-6 week mark is when people start asking "so what is this?" if they haven't settled it sooner.
 
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