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When to say I love you?

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MrMuffinMan

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Joined
Sep 27, 2014
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Hey guys i'm new on here and this is actually my first post but I've been seeking some advice and thought you lot could help. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 months and things are going pretty strong. We've known of each other since around September 2013 but got to seriously know each other since the end of march / beginning of April 2014. Ever since then me and her have been inseparable. We have talked every day for hours on end, calls, texts, video calls. When summer came and we were both off school we spent the whole of summer together and went out almost every day of summer (May until now). In July i asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. We have both been extremely happy together, we have never argued or made each other sad / angry, we have never gotten bored of each other or gotten on each others nerves, we are exactly alike. She is pretty much the female version of me. I've been wondering, since we have such a strong bond and that we have been inseparable for about 6 months now (only dating for 2), is it a good time to say I love you? I feel like i really want to say it because that's how i feel but I'm scared she might think its too soon but i really don't know. I know its not lust, i actually care about her more than I've cared about any other girl, i want to be there for her always, sex isn't even a priority to be honest (she wants sex after marriage and I'm willing to wait). So guys is it the right time? sorry for the long read but advice would be awesome :) (I'm 19 and she will be 19 in October).
 
Nobody can tell you when the time is right. Sometimes it's 2 days, sometimes it's 2 years.
 
Actions speak louder than words, and ultimately a word like love is simply a verbalization of something you both already know and feel. I went out with a girl for 6 years who just had a hard time communicating her feelings using words.. didn't bother me a bit because hearing her say it wouldn't have changed what already was.

if you're unsure, then just dont and continue enjoying the blossoming relationship ?
 
My bf and I have a similar story to yours (we met 2 years ago, hooked up once or twice and were friends but nothing serious until a year ago, casually dated for 4ish months then took a break for like 2 months, then finally started dating in March). I told him I loved him at the end of April, even though we had only been official for a little over a month. He didn't say it back because even though he feels the same way I do he's afraid to say "love" because he doesn't want to end up hurting me if he takes it back later. But that doesn't bother me at all because the way he acts toward me shows me he does love me and want to be with me, he'll say it when he's ready. And he's not weirded out that I love him or that I said I love him first; in fact, knowing I love him was important to our relationship because I was the one who turned him down and didn't want to be serious initially--I needed him to know he means everything to me.

TL;DR if you feel it, I would say just go for it :) Even if she doesn't say it back, I guarantee it'll at least make her feel really good to know someone cares that much about her
 
Don't... Let her do it first.

pazma said:
TL;DR if you feel it, I would say just go for it :) Even if she doesn't say it back, I guarantee it'll at least make her feel really good to know someone cares that much about her
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Or you'll freak them out because you apparently said it too soon.
 
^ I mean maybe you're right but I just hate that concept. Why does there have to be a specific "time" it can and can't be said? You say to let her do it first but what if she's waiting for him to say it? Then they're both just waiting around for the other person to say it and wondering whether the other person loves them back.

MrMuffinMan, does she act like she loves you? Meaning can you tell from the way she talks to you and the special things she does from you and the way she looks at you? If so she probably feels the same way you do and you shouldn't be scared to let her know how much she means to you; life is too short to be running around wondering whether it's the "right time" to let a person know you love them.
 
I just did this quiz on YouTube. I was a bit annoyed there was no "never" option lol. I mean is it obligatory? I'm that person that has it said to them and it's followed by an awkward silence because I don't say it back. It's so clichéd and overused.

Thoughts?

 
AbbeyLee said:
Thoughts?
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The exact timing is tough because love is, of course, a continuum. The first time there was a moment that made it clear to me I was in love. The other time it was more gradual and I might have been in love well before I said it.

I always felt it was nice to be told that I was loved, and I always said it often.
 
This relationship I'm currently in, I think I felt it strong around 6 months. For me it felt like, if she hurt i hurt, I took her feelings into consideration, I really wanted her to have a good day, every day.

It may sound basic, but for me it took 6 months.

I sorta bit my tounge because, in all honesty, I didn't want to get "locked in" to that feeling because it scared me. Moreover, I had experience in the past with women and I who'd absolutely abuse the saying "I love you" until it seemed meaningless.

Nonetheless, she said it after 8 months, and I reciprocated without hesitation.
 
If you love someone then you do. Go ahead and just say it. It's normally not even the biggest deal thing that's said at all in a relationship that's healthy, any given day, when it's said with some regularity.

It's a tough go knowing you're in a relationship or a closer than usual type of friendship and you don't hear these words at all. When you want to hear or say 'I love you', that generally means you need to say and hear that toon order to keep the relationship as fulfilling as it can be if your feelings are that way. If you need to say it just say so. You'll probably start to hear it back sooner than later.

There are some people who aren't very touchy about their love words and stuff but it's actually pretty uncommon. This shouldn't be a barrier but something to extend your reach a bit.
 
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