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  • LAVA Moderator: Shinji Ikari

When people don't pay you back...

On this subject, a few times in my life I wasn't able to pay someone back when I said I could. I called them before the due date and explained. It seems an amazing number of people leave it up to the lender to investigate and prod about the debt. This causes real irritation and leaves people wondering if the debt is forgotten or if there is any intent to make it good. IMO, the debtor has the responsibility to keep the creditor informed, making someone track you down or having to open the dialogue increases the injury of being late.

Also, in my life experience as either lender or creditor always have a due date on the loan. Open ended loans are much more likely to be problematic. Even better follow the advice above and neither a lender nor a borrower. . .
 
claire22 said:
I should hire a threatening looking man to visit all the people that owe me money
I'm owed at least 7 grand from over the years. I COULD USE THAT MONEY.
the bitches never repay people nowadays, selfish!!!!
I'm one of those people that feels bad even borrowing money, let alone not paying it back!
guess I'm too nice.
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sounds like you're naive.

i agree with dave. lending and borrowing money rarely ends well. stick to banks. :D
 
If you are going to loan money to friends or family without a contract, you must do so with the expectation that you won't get it back.
 
Benefit said:
If you are going to loan money to friends or family without a contract, you must do so with the expectation that you won't get it back.
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i agree. my brother has loaned me money a bunch of times, and it's always with a signed contract. and it's never the slightest bit insulting, because he's doing me the favor of not having to make an appointment with a bank. but maybe the reason i expect it is because i'm responsible with loans and payments, so it just goes with the territory.

i've loaned friends money in the past, both with and without contracts, and it's hit or miss on collection. if you value the friendship more than the money, then do it without paperwork and expect the possible ramifications. the more you lose, the more likely it'll be that you'll learn from the experience. it's a gamble, so the rule about not risking more than you can afford applies.
 
it depends on who it is really.

if its friends they'll usually end up paying me back by buying me random shit every now and then

but if its not close friends ill ask politely for a little bit, then start asking a little more often, then end up hounding them for the fucking money until i get it

(not if its less than like $40 though, i can live without $40)
 
never lend money to family or friends. as Dave said, if you can give them money and wish to do so, give them the money. do not give it to them if you expect it back. just plain say no if you think you'll be put off if they dont pay you back.
 
as for getting a written promise from someone to pay you back -- that can be a good tool for appealing to someone's conscience. but when it comes to actually enforcing that promise on someone who has no conscience or money to pay you back, it's a good idea to consider the cost and hassle of going to small claims court to collect and enforce the judgment -- before the loan is actually made.

i've already learned the hard way that when you mix friends and money, you could lose one or both.
 
^lol maybe in your hood. I'm more of a "please" and "hey, how about a smoothie and we can talk it over" type of guy. Btw, this one guy owes me either $600 or all of my stuff back, and he offered to give the stuff back but I declined. I gave it to him on consignment, and it is true - like Biggie said - this is strictly for live men, not for freshman. I do want my money, although i have another much larger fish to fry at the moment - a consignment case that went terribly wrong but I still want my money back.

As for written contracts regarding small personal money loans of $200 and under, I've found that they don't really work since it's almost never worth the cost of trying to get it enforced in a court of law, and like my lawyer says, ""you can't bleed a stone" although privately I disagree with him.
 
Play all your cards to get the debt repaid.

e.g. use said debtor for lifts, free drugs, cigarettes anything you can get while reminding them that they owe you money..

Sometimes its better to get paid back in commodities, especially if they are close friends.
 
Dave said:
"Neither a lender or a borrower be."

I don't lend money to anyone. I'll give money to close friends if they really need it and I can afford it, and have the attitude that 'what's mine is yours' with them as well.

There have only been a couple of times that I've lent money out and not had it returned in full. Once it was some guy who flaked out on a deal, and I just stopped associating with him. It wasn't enough to get upset about. The other time it was my best friend, and it was for rent money. At the time it was a 'loan', but I knew that he wouldn't be able to pay me back any time soon. A few months later I could tell that it was bugging him. It was around xmas so I made him a little card that said something to the extent of: 'I never intended to be repaid for the money I lent to you, but I'm formally forgiving your debt to me. Merry Christmas!' A good friendship isn't worth ruining over money, and if someone isn't a good friend then they don't get my money in the first place.

Both situations happened nearly 10 years ago. I don't lend money to anyone anymore. The only people close enough to me that I would be willing to do so are as/more financially secure than I am.
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So true for me as well....without getting into specifics. Money really opens a can of worms between friends. I still lend money usually to some of my officemates, and 95% of the time they do pay back...I've learned to let go of the money people still owe me...its not easy though. But I try.
 
with friends, i have learned that if they're "borrowing" it, give it to them expecting you'll never get it back. and this goes for non-monetary items as well.

with family, you just let them borrow it regardless of whether or not they're gonna pay you back, cuz it's your family. my money is their money and vice versa.

even with roommates and shit i always have a little agreement signed because people don't pay. you cant trust anyone to pay back, because shit happens, you lose money, you forget, you get into a fight, etc. a signed contract is always the way to go if its money you really expect to get paid back.


and CB- you could always ask him to borrow money or possessions and not return them lol
 
I got burned once by a work associate who I thought was my friend... loaned him $200 and never saw the dude again.
Got burned by a bluelighter once... fronting.

These days, I don't loan anything without truly expecting to never see the money. And yes, I still "loan" friends and family money... haven't been burned since.
 
I don't lend money. If a friend is short a couple bucks I'll give them a little cash for what ever it is they need it for (no more than $10) but it usually comes back to me in terms of cover at a club, a couple free drinks, etc...

If you are going to lend money get it in writing with a witness. This way if need be you can go to small claims court to get it back. Friends and money don't mix.
 
You're not the bank, dont loan people money you cant afford to lose. if they dont have the money for something, well life sucks. And if they are having a tough time, borrowing your money then not paying you back is them dragging yo into their problem.
If you've loaned someone money, you havent instilled the expectation that you expect to get paid back, by a certain time. If I were to ever loan a friend a chunk of money, I would want to know why he doesnt have the money (if he's working) because if he has over spent and not budgeted and gone down the multiple credit card road I'm not giving him a dime because I'm not throwing my hard earned good money after bad money because if he cant manage his he cant manage yours either. Why cant a family member help him? If he has close family why wont they help? (maybe they cant) And how will you pay me back. Then I would make it VERY clear and put our friendship on the line that I expect my money back. If they wavered at all on any of that. My money is staying in my bank. The buy everything on credit teaches you that you dont really have to pay it all back. When you work hard and save your money and spend cash instead of credit, it is 100 times more valuable to you.
'A fool and his money are soon parted"
 
I take it you dont end up loaning much money baggerr, not that that is a good or a bad thing but you basically give someone a short form to fill out prior to getting 20 bucks it seems lol. I will normally give out small amounts 10-20 dollars without expecting it back.

Small amount of money should be shared and are not worth any kind of emotion other then happiness.
 
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