when its just not worth getting up anymore

Honestly this might sound stupid to some people. If all those things do not work I have one thing to suggest. Travel. Travel the world. No just go on a plane and stay at a resort, trek throughout Europe to Asia. Meet the people of different nations. See their hardships and struggles, and embrace what you have. Depressions a bitch. A real mean bitch. Sometimes you just got to tell that bitch to fuck off. I know it is easier than it sounds, but seriously take what I say to heart. Travel the world, gain new insights on the little and big things in life. Drugs are not the only reason to live, not even close. The world is your playground, embrace it.
 
i know drugs dont help at all in the long run. but it keeps me on the up cuz i gotta chase em down. running through this maze pushing buttons getting some good chemicals seeping into my brain
 
man, if you havent graduated high school yet, i am glad youve made it this far. you started using for whatever reason, and have damaged your brain's capabilities when it comes to growth and development. whether this depression is hereditary, or if its due to drugs, environment, etc, you have to think differently about it. i dont know if youre on a psychotropic, ssris, whatever..im not. never have been. personally, my depression has gotten better in the past few months, but there are days when i feel like i wanna kill myself too.
i think your problem is being too inwardly focused. getting high while youre in a negative mindset always causes issues. if you stop thinking about drugs, and start imagining happier, relaxing thoughts that dont involve getting high, and you train your brain to do this (the precise function of antidepressants), i assure you you'll notice a difference. your consciousness dictates, perceptions, behaivior, and sujective experience. cut back on the weed, make a goal down the road to end your opiate use, and develop other interests. youre here for a reason, so stop questioning that. you have two choices to make, get busy livin, or get busy dieing.
 
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