Well not exactly. But I do feel shit-scared and sick when I've run out of anti-depressants and don't have enough benzodiazepines.
Eg this dream ... I just woke up from it. It sounds absurd but it's really spooked me. Hope you don't mind me sharing ....
In my dream there is a strange totalitarian Asian country.
It's ideology seemed to revolve around the 1980s game FROGGER. NOT actual Frogger as it was played, or Frogger as it looked, but somehow Frogger all the same.
Words can't capture the gnomic menace of this nightmare, which is typical of dreams I have while in withdrawing from my anti-depressants ...
An evil green colour predominates. It is like the red that goes with communism but doesn't mean communism or anything obvious at all. Imagine a 1970s Maoist poster, but featuring people clad in vibrant green, and full of reverence for frogs, Frogger, and their LEADER.
The LEADER is a repulsive child, a sort of half-girl, called something like General Secretary Froggersky.
There is a wearying feeling that Froggersky, our LEADER, has at one time been almost pulverized in a blender, but not quite.
This bad experience is practically all Froggersky has to offer as a leader.
We must celebrate her shitty survival incessantly.
But the cult of Froggersky is all bullshit. . Privately, she inspires all adults with disgust, exhaustion and terror. Like the baby from David Lynch's Eraserhead ....
Her dictatorial spiel is similar to that of Maoist Red Guards: simplicity and humility plus murderous willingness to route out traitors, posers, or anyone not following the Froggerina party line.
It is hard to survive, though, because no-one knows what anything is meant to be about.
Forget about being irreproachably proletarian or having true peasant roots.
In Frogger Republic, you have to justify your existence every waking hour by being as fucking-A grade "Frogger" as possible.
But what does that mean?
I become more and more worried as the dream goes on ...
It turns out that children are a critical part of keeping everyone in line. The children are all horrible and they all adore the Leader Froggersky. They strive to look as repulsive as possible.
Many children subject themselves to the painful but character-building blender treatment (in emulation of Froggersky, naturally).
Subliminally and in rallies, Froggersky encourages these mutant kids to do shit like crash through the ceilings of their parents' bedrooms in the middle of the night, half-pulverized from the blender, ugly as sin plus reeking of blood and chlorophyll.
The poor parents have to laugh heartily - it's just kids being kids and perfectly natural, ha, hah, HAH!
Anyway, if you seem to somehow not love your half-frog, half- puréed children enough, or dont laugh at their nocturnal antics properly, you'll be publicly humiliated and tortured.
Towards the end of the Dream, Froggersky eventually acquires a sort of special formula 1 race car.
And Froggerina Fucked Republic is undisputed world no 1 at Formula 1 racing. But everyone knows they cheat.
What can it all mean?
Don't run out of anti-depressants?
Eg this dream ... I just woke up from it. It sounds absurd but it's really spooked me. Hope you don't mind me sharing ....
In my dream there is a strange totalitarian Asian country.
It's ideology seemed to revolve around the 1980s game FROGGER. NOT actual Frogger as it was played, or Frogger as it looked, but somehow Frogger all the same.
Words can't capture the gnomic menace of this nightmare, which is typical of dreams I have while in withdrawing from my anti-depressants ...
An evil green colour predominates. It is like the red that goes with communism but doesn't mean communism or anything obvious at all. Imagine a 1970s Maoist poster, but featuring people clad in vibrant green, and full of reverence for frogs, Frogger, and their LEADER.
The LEADER is a repulsive child, a sort of half-girl, called something like General Secretary Froggersky.
There is a wearying feeling that Froggersky, our LEADER, has at one time been almost pulverized in a blender, but not quite.
This bad experience is practically all Froggersky has to offer as a leader.
We must celebrate her shitty survival incessantly.
But the cult of Froggersky is all bullshit. . Privately, she inspires all adults with disgust, exhaustion and terror. Like the baby from David Lynch's Eraserhead ....
Her dictatorial spiel is similar to that of Maoist Red Guards: simplicity and humility plus murderous willingness to route out traitors, posers, or anyone not following the Froggerina party line.
It is hard to survive, though, because no-one knows what anything is meant to be about.
Forget about being irreproachably proletarian or having true peasant roots.
In Frogger Republic, you have to justify your existence every waking hour by being as fucking-A grade "Frogger" as possible.
But what does that mean?
I become more and more worried as the dream goes on ...
It turns out that children are a critical part of keeping everyone in line. The children are all horrible and they all adore the Leader Froggersky. They strive to look as repulsive as possible.
Many children subject themselves to the painful but character-building blender treatment (in emulation of Froggersky, naturally).
Subliminally and in rallies, Froggersky encourages these mutant kids to do shit like crash through the ceilings of their parents' bedrooms in the middle of the night, half-pulverized from the blender, ugly as sin plus reeking of blood and chlorophyll.
The poor parents have to laugh heartily - it's just kids being kids and perfectly natural, ha, hah, HAH!
Anyway, if you seem to somehow not love your half-frog, half- puréed children enough, or dont laugh at their nocturnal antics properly, you'll be publicly humiliated and tortured.
Towards the end of the Dream, Froggersky eventually acquires a sort of special formula 1 race car.
And Froggerina Fucked Republic is undisputed world no 1 at Formula 1 racing. But everyone knows they cheat.
What can it all mean?
Don't run out of anti-depressants?
