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When Adikkal met Shoelace....

A

Adikkal

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 11, 2001
Messages
797
Location
Sydney, NSW
Yo, this is a verse dedicated to meeting this crazy cat who inspired me to get more into my rapping....

me n shoe met july of 02,
brought together hey whateva 'your a bluelighter too?'
as i ignite a cigarette for this cat i just met
i asked him what the fuck he did and he replied n said
'im an MC!' "for real man? Show me ure skillz!"
My jaw woulda dropped but i was clenchin from tha pills
I was struck starry as he started to spit,
the rhythmic elaborate polysyllabic shit
fit like a glove lovin every minute that hes in it
all alone in tha zone as the lyrics hit home
and ohh god hes rappin in the accent proper
still reppin bein aussie but not soundin like an ocka
its the verbal game of soccer and i thought for just a second
should i drop a verse and maybe ask him what he reckons?
so i did it, i spat, slipped out my own written
sittin down found sound eminating from this kitten
hittin rhymes that id written never really had i rapped
fishin for recognition like a pat up on the back

And thats that!

Feedback???

Peace

Adikkal
 
What? You mean this isn't the bluelight version of 'When Harry Met Sally' ;)

This rules the hizzy Adge. Your lyrical and rhyming skills are indeed damn supreme, and as a tribute to MC Shoelace, I can only applaud. :)

I wish I could have both your babies. ;)

Nice work dude.

-plaz out-
 
Since you asked for feedback...


I was struck starry as he started to spit,
Click to expand...
the rhythmic elaborate polysyllabic shit
Click to expand...

I would change the word 'polysyllabic' to psilocybinic or psilocybic
and 'elaborate' to prismatic... and a few others

I was struck starry eyed as he started to spit
that rhythmic prismatic Psilocybic shit


Thats the line that stuck out to me, good job...

On the other hand maybee I do like yours better...
 
ahh dude!

Fucken picked out my favourite part of the piece and suggest i change it! Hahah, narr, definitely sticking with what i got cos if you heard me flow that part you'd realise why its like that

e-lab-orate poly-syllabic

Read that out loud then read out

prismatic psylocibic

The p's dont flow aswell IMO,

I might wack a rough audio of this up sometime soon so u can see what i mean maybe even tonite...

Peace!

Adikkal
 
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