whats worse depression or opiate addiction?

[itsok]

hey xburtonchic, thanks for taking the time to explain the rationale behind why opiate addiction is worse. what resonated with me was the discrimination opiate addicts face in all areas of life. just because I am an opiate addict doesn't mean that I am a thief and liar and a bad person who shouldn't be trusted around children or who shouldn't be around people in general.

It is sad and shocking how my own friends and family refuse to take the time to understand what I am going through and choose to isolate me instead, when I have only done nice things for them throughout the years. The discrimination a "junkie" faces is so unfair and yet, socially accepted.
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I do have some good news though. I am feeling alot better. I am still not happy, but I am not incapacitated by depression as I was before. I can laugh and am starting to have the energy to do things and socialize. I don't know if it is due to the antidepressants (wellbutrin and amitriptyline) kicking in, the establishment of good eating/sleeping/exercise habits, my using h 2 times a week, or my having used dissociatives as the method for quitting opiates. Probably a combination of all 3 and more...

What I am writing is not scientific and comes purely from my experience. This time for me is different and I think better because I used dissociatives and started antidepressants soon enough. I believe that dissociatives, besides making one go crazy for a couple days, basically unhinges the brain from habits and gives an addict a fresh start (kind of like a blank slate) in life without severe PAWS.

IME, I believe that the longer the half-life of the opiate one was taking, and the longer duration of time one used opiates, the worse the PAWS is. When I stopped using opiates in the past by tapering off suboxone or methadone and didn't use antidepressants, the PAWS always sent me back to using.

 

[xburtonchic]

itsok; That's awesome that you're feeling better! How long have you been off of the opiates? Well, I know you're not completely off if you're still using h twice a week, but I mean how long since you've broken free from habitual use? I haven't had the chance to experience PAWS yet because there hasn't been an extended period of time where I've been completely off the opiates, but I'm not looking forward to it. Oh and what kind of dissociative are you taking? Does that really help? I wouldn't know where to find something like ketamine or w/e, but I wonder if there's some sort of prescription out there that has similar effects.

And yeah, I think I forgot the cover the whole "criminal" aspect of it since that was never really a huge issue for me. Pill-popping doesn't get that stigma as bad as street opiates and methadone do. I still think it's ridiculous though; people think "junkie" and automatically associate it with "criminal". Even though MOST (not all) opiate addicts are completely harmless, relatively calm people. They don't go out and stab people and rob banks the way hardcore meth addicts do. Most of them are genuinely just trying to get by the best way they know how. I can't stand ignorant people who jump to stupid conclusions like "oh this person does opiates, that must mean they murder people and rob banks too!" Yeah, doing certain opiates might be illegal, but that doesn't exactly make someone a criminal mastermind.

 

[SideOrderOfOpiates]

I have a question, whats worse......having your dick cut off like John Wayne Bobitt or an opiate addiction? I mean, the depression this guy went threw I would imagine an opiate addiction is a walk in the park.....just trying to make a point. everyone has to deal with different situations so you really cant correctly answer the question the OP asked.

IMHO, it depends on how intelligent you are. A depressed intelligent individual is much more likely to take such depression to heart. Whereas a depressed yet moronic individual is far more likely to overlook abovestated depression. IMHO, opiate addiction is worse. I am supposedly suffering from 'major depressive disorder', yet nothing makes me seriously contemplate risking my own beautiful life as much as opiate addiction does.

PS. Had you included having your clit cut off, I would have easily opted for that being worse.

 

[TheLostBoys]

PS. Had you included having your clit cut off, I would have easily opted for that being worse.

LoL.....now you get my point & if that were the case where you had the option, everyone would take an opiate addiction against the private part being a miss while you sleep(snip snip), haha!

I think what I was trying to get across was we dont know the issues people have when they start abusing opiates & if the issues are near as bad as I suggested above, God forbid, I definitely would understand why someone would become a lifetime opiate addict & give a "fuck the world" I dont care attitude.

 

[Treefa]

Shit once i used tramadol for a week straight and when i ran out...oh boy..thats when my depression got worse and i had to go on lexapro which isPURE SHIT. PURE BULL FUCKING SHIT!!!

IF they are gonna give me something with withdrawls, atleast let it GET MY ASS HIGH. Doctors are fucking stupid i wanna shoot up the fucking supreme court when they make decesions like these man what the FUCK

 

[xburtonchic]

Shit once i used tramadol for a week straight and when i ran out...oh boy..thats when my depression got worse and i had to go on lexapro which isPURE SHIT. PURE BULL FUCKING SHIT!!!

IF they are gonna give me something with withdrawls, atleast let it GET MY ASS HIGH. Doctors are fucking stupid i wanna shoot up the fucking supreme court when they make decesions like these man what the FUCK

I know you were being serious but that was hilarious LOL. But I hear you on the whole "if I'm going to be in withdrawals from this, I better at least get a good fucking high out of it while it lasts." lol.

 

[opihater321]

Seroqaul is supposed to be the best anti-depressant when someone is coming down from drugs,and most importantly,it makes the person get bombed out to the
max and sleep,sleep,sleep zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

[Ixchellian]

I can tell y'all that during my active opiate addiction, I skipped right through plain depression and ended up on the doorstep of despair quite suddenly..... it was like I was already depressed, except I just didn't CARE until I hit rock-bottom..... which I almost didn't see until it was too late...

I never had a rollercoaster of emotions *before* being addicted to morphine.... even after my first & most dangerous 15mo. Iraq deployment. I was a pretty levelheaded guy before becoming a junky..... beyond the whole being a modern industrial death-culture product from the start, thing. 8)

The one most awesome thing about kicking opiate addiction, is that when the natural endorphin production DOES start up again..... it makes for some very intense moments of beauty & clarity.
A pretty sunset that wouldn't even catch the notice of most people, can make a recovering addict weep with wonder..... simply from being overwhelmed by the intense colors. Opiate addiction makes everything dull, even the best parts in life.
But with the crushing depths of depression, comes soaring natural highs..... the lows don't last forever. It just takes time for things to even out some.

But I can say...... I never appreciated sunrise/sets, rainstorms, Delta/Memphis/Glades Blues, or meteor showers like I have since quitting opiates. I'll gladly deal with a bit of depression & pain for those things..... especially since they always make me feel better. Even a year & some change after being junk-free, those kinds of things still hit me much harder than before.
Retraining the brain's natural reward system with things like that, works far better for me than any antidepressant the croakers are doleing out these days.

 

[OverDone]

The one most awesome thing about kicking opiate addiction, is that when the natural endorphin production DOES start up again..... it makes for some very intense moments of beauty & clarity.
A pretty sunset that wouldn't even catch the notice of most people, can make a recovering addict weep with wonder..... simply from being overwhelmed by the intense colors.

I noticed this also as I began recovering from a significant IV coke habit. I wonder if it applies to all chemicals.

 

[iPhrozon]

Opiate addiction. You see, opiate addiction will almost always lead to anhedonia and depression. Depression alone is easy to overcome in comparison to an opiate addiction. Sometimes overcoming depression is as simple as finding a new boyfriend/girlfriend, or picking up a few new hobbies. Overcoming opiate addiction takes months or even years and will permanently leave a mark on your life.

 

[Ixchellian]

The one most awesome thing about kicking opiate addiction, is that when the natural endorphin production DOES start up again..... it makes for some very intense moments of beauty & clarity. A pretty sunset that wouldn't even catch the notice of most people, can make a recovering addict weep with wonder..... simply from being overwhelmed by the intense colors.

I noticed this also as I began recovering from a significant IV coke habit. I wonder if it applies to all chemicals.

I believe the phenomenon could be related to Stendhal Syndrome... look up "triple rainbow reaction" on youtube; although it's a very strong & uncommon reaction, still gives a good idea of just how powerful overwhelming beauty can be...... and no other drugs involved, other than the ones produced naturally in the brain.

After all..... intense pleasure can transform someone into a gibbering, drooling vegetable just as effectively as a hit of the best heroin. Drugs are a huge cheat/shortcut to that level of ecstasy in the brain, so it's little wonder to me that the brain overcompensates sometimes when confronted with things that provoke more than a little pleasure.

 

[DrinksWithEvil]

in my opinion opiate addiction is worse because it comes along with a dabilitating depression and cravings that will drive you INSANE. Actually opiate addiction does make you insane. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. That describes opiate addiction. "This time it will be different!!" "just acouple vicodens!" "ill replace my opiates with booze!" its fucking insane. You have to either hit some kind of low or realize what low you will hit if you continue to use. or you will never quit. I have been to 4 rehabs im in my second sober living and im still using. If i get kicked out of this sober living im on the streets! thats just an example of how insane this addiction is. It really comes down to if you want to be a happy normal person, or a depressed low life junkie stealing from your grandma.

If u stick it out man. you will be amazed on how awesome life can be and will be. If you go to NA or AA you will hear people talk about how they never imagined having a life they have now SOBER. Being an addict is a waste of life and time. i wish i could get over it. i am so close to getting over but i keep falling back and using because i either get bored or stressed.

 

[Ixchellian]

..... it really comes down to if you want to be a happy normal person, or a depressed low life junkie stealing from your grandma.

I take issue with a common belief that junkies are, by definition, thieves...... and that choice is precluded by drug craving.

Even during my most desperate, junk-sick lows..... I *never* contemplated theft or violence to support my dependance on morphine. There are some things that we don't have to give up, if we choose not to..... and my integrity is where I draw the line.

No substance or shitty choice on my part could ever make me take that which I'm not willing to work for on my own behalf....... nor deprive another of that which they have earned by their own work simply because I hurt.
The very idea was repulsive to me..... sitting through a day or three of being junksick was infinitely more bearable than being, for even one moment, a thief. I'll starve, before I resort to stealing.

The point being.... no matter how inscrutable at the time, we still have the truth and the means to control that which controls us. The trick is cutting through the clouds of confusion that obscure any battlefield..... at least with junk, it's mainly an external force exerting a new internal control. By knowing & naming one's adversaries, no matter their origin, one is that much closer to beating them.

The ungodly depression & painful ecstasies that comes from opiate addiction & withdrawal is essentially like an institutionalized inmate; once the brain is free from whatever confines it was operating in, it'll take a while to find a working equilibrium.....

And as ably stated before; depression & mania, caused by brain defect or imbalance.... isn't really comparable on the same level as opiate-withdrawal depression. Though drug-related depression may be treated in a similar fashion short-term, the long-term treatment of an inherent mental illness is much different. While sometimes the natural causes of depression are dangerous (ie, epilepsy), it's the 100% guaranteed physical wreckage that opiate withdrawal wreaks, which makes it such a bastard.

 

[Timland]

I was clinically depressed (I guess technically I still am) prior to my opi* addiction which I set out on in 2008. In my opinion (by no means do I recommend this to others -- you gotta evaluate on your own what is best for you) I think opi addiction and dependency is better ESPECIALLY if one has suicidal tendencies. However, if your source for them are unstable I would recommend against it. If you abruptly run dry on your opi supply that can of course put you in a really dangerous mindset where you might be far more depressed than if you were not addicted.

My opioid of choice is infinite and I have many sources for it and the financial security for it. So stability is a MAJOR factor on whether opis will work to keep your depression managed. I would recommend giving the Wellbutrin a few more weeks before deciding anything. I use to take Wellbutrin XR for weight loss and it took quite some time before it effectively reduced my binge eating compulsions.

 

[oliphill]

Opiate addiction is one of the most depressing things I've ever experienced.

 

[canarylove]

its a tough call that one. lots of variables.

 

[Lady Codone]

In my own case, depression has been with me since about age 5 and does not respond to things like exercise, counseling, medication, etc. Like drugs, those things are temporary distractions that do nothing for the underlying fatigue, low self-esteem, pessimism, emptiness and misery of depression (in my case). In fact, the more things I do and the more people I interact with, the more exhausted I feel...even when the interactions are fun and pleasant. Every tiny thing is a huge effort, which forces me to budget my energy to avoid the fatigue that's always right around the corner. Opiates have been the only thing that's helped (and I've tried every anti-depressant on the market). I've used them successfully for over 3 years without increasing the dose or frequency and still find them effective, though I realize most people can't use drugs this way. Opiates and stimulants were the ONLY depression treatment up until the 1950s, so to deny their potential as anti-depressants is just that--denial.

On the flip side, I've never seen/heard of an opiate addict who didn't have some underlying mental health issue beforehand. I'm not talking about physical dependence that happens to pain patients and such...I mean REAL addiction. People who are emotionally stable, confident and well-adjusted may enjoy drugs but usually feel no need to keep using them because they feel/function fine without them. It's those of us who self-medicate who run the greatest risk of becoming true drug addicts. 99% of the time, drug addiction is a symptom of a much larger, longer-standing problem.

 

[MissBehavin'_416]

In my opinion, depression is worse. What's the worst thing that can happen when you're an addict? Not get high? And then what? You're in physical pain and withdrawal.
When depressed though, reeeeally bad things cross your mind. You lose your will do do anything. Nothing matters anymore.
People could be thinking of causing some serious bodily harm to themselves or even wanna get it over with for good - die. (not saying you necessarily are).
From my past experiences mental pain is a thousand times worse than any physical. It just feels more 'normal' than the other. You cut yourself - it hurts. You burn yourself - it hurts. Bruises hurt. Depression or hurting mentally is something different all around.
Just remember what you're going through right now is FOR THE BETTER. As bad as it is, it's FOR THE BETTER. It will get better than it is now. Take control of your life and live it the way you plan it out. Try doing something productive you wouldn't normally do. Maybe even meditate. Not sure if you're religious at all, but even if you're not, pray to God.
I'm pretty sure that THAT after-opiate depression should go away on its own in a couple of months or more. Surround yourself with positivity. Trust me, it could always be worse.

Best of luck!

 

[MissBehavin'_416]

I don't recommend taking any pills as you may become addicted to those also. The less meds you take, the better and healthier it is. Unless your days are completely unbearable.
Also Itsok, I recommend some spiritual cleansing.
BTW, to drinkswithevil: Not everyone steals or commits crimes daily (or ever) to support their habit. Legal employment works just fine. Even better as a matter of fact. I couldn't imagine stealing on a regular basis for drugs. Wow!

 

[Lady Codone]

I'm currently going through poppy pods w/ds and as bad as it is...I still find regular, non-opiate related depression far worse. If only because w/ds are temporary. Just thankful I don't get the puking/shitting thing that most folks get from w/ds