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What's the story of your LDR? (Long distance relationship)

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grimsolem

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 7, 2011
Messages
19
Location
Cali
What's the story of your (past/present, good/bad) LDR? (Long distance relationship)

Greetings Bluelighters.

I apologize if there is already a thread for this, but am moreso looking for stories rather than just general discussion.

Anyways, I'm curious about those of you engaged in LDRs.


Distance?
~300 miles

Age?
20

What separated you?
I went to college out of state.

Reason for staying together?
I loved her (corny, I know). And I wanted to keep her, so I decided that if we could survive 4 years apart like this then... well, she's a keeper.

How long have you been together (before/during/after)?
3 years currently, 1.5 of those apart.

How often do you see your SO?
Once, sometimes twice a month.

What's the hardest part of dealing with the distance? [Other than not seeing him/her!]
Paying for plane tickets :( and also having enough trust to know your SO is being faithful. But that's also possibly the most glorious part.

How have drugs impacted the relationship, if at all?
I came 'clean' to her about my past around 6 months into dating, when she was still rather innocent. I promised to cut back, and to avoid certain things entirely.. And with time she has grown more and more open-minded and understanding of usage. She smokes with me occasionally, has rolled once, and is the most perfect sitter I could ask for.

Did you succeed??? Why or why not? Any advice
I do believe we shall :)
I would just say to always remember to give your SO attention. It's too easy to ignore someone when they're just a phone or a computer monitor to you... You always have to be an active, though far away, part of their life.


So what do ye of Bluelight have to say on this matter?

Thanks everyone.


Distance?
Age?
What separated you?
Reason for staying together?
How long have you been together (before/during/after)?
How often do you see your SO?
What's the hardest part of dealing with the distance? [Other than not seeing him/her!]
How have drugs impacted the relationship, if at all?
Did you succeed??? Why or why not?
 
Distance?
300 Miles this past year, around 1000 this next year.

Age?
19 for me, 18 for her.

What separated you?
College.

Reason for staying together?
I wanted to at least try it. She was so special to me I thought it would just be stupid to not even give it a shot.

How long have you been together (before/during/after)?
3 months before, 9 months during, and it's summer again so a little bit where we're both home.

How often do you see your SO?
Maybe around once a month average. It'll probably be less this next school year.

What's the hardest part of dealing with the distance? [Other than not seeing him/her!]
Those times when you're really lonely and there's still nothing you can do to see that person.

How have drugs impacted the relationship, if at all?
I introduced her to drugs and always feel a bit weird when she does something without me. However that's not a big deal. I don't find drinking alcohol attractive so I don't particularly like it when she does that but am obviously not going to ask her to stop.

Did you succeed??? Why or why not?
So far yes. A lot of open, honest communication, and frequent skype sessions are what make it work.
 
together for 2 years
long distance (12 hour drive) for 1.5 years
he let a girl suck his dick at a wedding
he told me and I gave him the boot
 
Distance?: 750 miles

Age?: 18-22

What separated you?: I moved for work and she was still in school so couldn't come.

Reason for staying together?: I actually broke up with her when I left and didn't talk to her for the first few months but we ended up getting back together and doing the LD thing.

How long have you been together (before/during/after)?: Total of 7 years off and on, LD didn't start til I was 18 though.

How often do you see your SO?: I'd see her every few months for a week or two.

What's the hardest part of dealing with the distance? [Other than not seeing him/her!]: Always wondering if she was being faithful (we had problems with that in the past) and wondering if she or I were really doing this because we loved eachother or if we were just so used to each other being a fixture in one anothers lives.

How have drugs impacted the relationship, if at all?: She didn't do drugs but I became addicted to opiates which mixed with alcohol and benzos is almost the perfect recipe for me being a terrible asshole.

Did you succeed??? Why or why not?: Well, we survived the LD and I moved back to be with her and we eventually had a son. We're no longer together and she has since remarried, but her and I are better friends and closer than we've ever been so IMO, I'd say we succeeded.
 
Distance?
520 miles

Age?
24

What separated you?
We started out that way. I had a lot of family in SF so visiting her was quite easy.

Reason for staying together?
We didn't think it would be much of a problem since I was going to school in san diego and we made sure to see each other as often as possible.

How long have you been together (before/during/after)?
we were together for 3 years

How often do you see your SO?
We saw each other about twice a month.

What's the hardest part of dealing with the distance? [Other than not seeing him/her!]
She became quite possessive and jealous. She couldn't handle me having female friends since she thought I would cheat.

How have drugs impacted the relationship, if at all?
Somewhat. She was against my MDMA use so I kept it from her. When she did find out, she would go ballistic.

Did you succeed??? Why or why not?[/QUOTE]
No. The distance must have been affecting us. Well one of us. She started acting different. She became distant. Come to find out she cheated on me with 2 guys. It was ironic considering she was very jealous.
 
Distance?
it was only a 3 hour drive but neither of us had a car

Age?
well it was for two years (minus the summer in between), I think I was 18/19 and he was 19/20

What separated you?
college/university

Reason for staying together?
first love I guess, we didn't know any different

How long have you been together (before/during/after)?
we were together for one year before we moved away for college/uni, two years of that

How often do you see your SO?
we saw each other every other weekend approx

What's the hardest part of dealing with the distance? [Other than not seeing him/her!]
it was lonely

How have drugs impacted the relationship, if at all?
no, I didn't use drugs then

Did you succeed??? Why or why not?
nope. I met someone else. but it was for the better. sometimes relationships aren't meant to be. although I thought that the first relationship was "the one", I quickly learned that it wasn't
 
Haha for all those who read my threads whilst i was in a LDR, im sure you will agree this thread was made for me :P


Distance?
700 miles

Age?
her = 21 me = 22

What separated you?
got together after she moved so we were already seperated, although we were friends before she moved.

Reason for staying together?
not sure, guess it was that we loved each other

How long have you been together (before/during/after)?
not with her before she moved, during = 6 months, after = 2 months and counting :)

How often do you see your SO?
when she was away, once a month for 4-5 days, now all the time (we live together)

What's the hardest part of dealing with the distance? [Other than not seeing him/her!]
unable to resolve an argument properly i.e. cuddling kissing just physically being there

How have drugs impacted the relationship, if at all?
she takes more drugs than i would like her to but i'm not too bothered. (i also use)

Did you succeed??? Why or why not?
so far yes, if she didnt move back i doubt we would still be together, she has also admitted this. IME LDR's never last unless you eventually move closer together.
 
Distance?
About 9000kms or however far it is from Australia to Kenya

Age?
31 and 25

What Separated you?
She was offered a job that she had always wanted.

How long were you together before/during/after?
4years/3 months/7months

How often did you see each other?
Never except on Skype (it was on the other side of the world) but I moved there after 3 months and then we moved back after another 3 months

What was the hardest part?
Saying goodbye at the airport and thinking I might not ever see her again.

Did drugs impact the relationship?
Not while she was over there.

Success?
I think so. I was prepared to move where ever she was so I did. Then we both came back together, if we had stayed there it might have been harder being a thrid world country and all.
 
Distance?1000 miles
Age?34 and 42
What separated you?He is not good at being a criminal. (prison)
Reason for staying together? Were married and I love him.(No we did not get married in prison)
How long have you been together (before/during/after)? 2 months before. 2 years during.
How often do you see your SO? Once every two weeks at first, now, pretty much never.
What's the hardest part of dealing with the distance? [Other than not seeing him/her!] He's a paranoid lunatic who thinks I slip and fall on a dick every time I stand up.
How have drugs impacted the relationship, if at all?No, unless you count the sex, which was mad.
Did you succeed??? Why or why not? Yes, because I don't fail.
We met in WA. Went on a crime spree, nbd, except he had warrants in MS, and we were in OR and let me tell you, God does not shine on Oregon. Shit is just wrong there. We got popped for the crime of literally walking down the street of salem. They snapped him up, sent him to MS, and I went too, to wait for him and live with his mom. She got a job in WI, I went with her. I love the man, he's gold, we mesh well, we get it, we belong together, but he's obsessed with fidelity and/or lack there of. I have no interest in anyone else. He refuses to believe this to the point that he hallucinates shit in the backround of our phone conversations that arent there, questions everything, thinks I have men in every state and sneak them into his moms basement. It's getting to the point where I kinda want to stab him. But it's amost over, he'll be out, and everything will be cool.Prison psychosis FTW.
 
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