Mental Health whats the point of living, if you cant be happy anymore [in relationships?]?

[weekend addiction]

Exactly, women are the winners of life and i cant deal with this I cant have a human which is better then me.

Just last week i got news from one co worker about 2 girls, that they have been having sex with everybody in the city where they study (and those are really cute girls). And how many are there about which i dont know? How many from those girls i see on street had threesomes, bdsm sex, group sex and all those big things? Many and i can never again be on their level simply...

I dont want women that have not been with many guys. For me this is a sign of a great person if women had much sex, party and many partners in youth. Shows this is a big, brave, confident person.

Your looking at what I said the wrong way. What I'm trying to say is women are pickier than men so at the end of the day they really do more of the picking... Doesn't make them better or worse.

 

[herbavore]

andreass, assuming that you are not just trolling, I think that your issue has far less to do with women or sex or even comparisons to others' perceived fun-filled youth and far more to do with seeing yourself as a hapless victim. No one can change this but you. People here are trying to suggest other ways to look at life and at yourself. Again, presuming you are not simply trolling, why not back off from defending your position as a powerless victim and try embracing a different outlook? We all write our own stories. I'm 62. Life has been fun and full of wonderful surprises all the way through. Youth was great, but so was middle age and so is older age. You call the shots in life and you write the story. Why write such a miserable part for yourself unless you get something out of it?

 

[feedtheSoul]

You live for YOUR well being, not to please others. Instead you should get to know yourself and your interests. Get a job or volunteer. I've made several friends through both. Be optimistic. Be aware. Be. Aware. I can't stress that enough.

 

[SixBuckets]

You need to be way less hung up on women's sex lives. It's exactly none of your business and fixating on it is gross and creepy.

 

[andreass]

We all compare to others. You go to school to get a job, because you want to be like other people. You want family like other people and travel like other people.

A job as volunteer doesnt change facts that those girls won and had so much fun in youth. That those girls prooved so many times they are big persons, because they had tons of sex and party.

 

[andreass]

andreass, assuming that you are not just trolling, I think that your issue has far less to do with women or sex or even comparisons to others' perceived fun-filled youth and far more to do with seeing yourself as a hapless victim. No one can change this but you. People here are trying to suggest other ways to look at life and at yourself. Again, presuming you are not simply trolling, why not back off from defending your position as a powerless victim and try embracing a different outlook? We all write our own stories. I'm 62. Life has been fun and full of wonderful surprises all the way through. Youth was great, but so was middle age and so is older age. You call the shots in life and you write the story. Why write such a miserable part for yourself unless you get something out of it?

Because i am realistic person and can't lie to myself. I know most of people can do this (psychotherapy does this or some can do it even without it). I look on things from the view of numbers and statistic. Numbers say it all. The result of a persons value. For me person who didnt do the same as others is nothing worth. I would not want a women with same past as mine, even if she would be the most beautiful women on the world from outside. I would rather have a women who was drug addict or a prostitute, because this means she was brave to have fun. But ok, those are extremes. The best is a average normal young women of today who sleept with 20-30 men, was every year on vacation on sea and enjoyed her life to the fullest.

 

[GolemGolem]

I was not brave enough to have women, little confidence. But this is not important now. What is imporant is results, numbers, facts how little i had from life compare to others. I am labeled forever.

Yes, some dont care about this, but this are people. Many people prefer lie to themself or wash their brain thru psychotherapy instead of admiting themself, they didnt have in life the most important things like the greatest and most beautiful people. Its much easier to lie to yourself that this is not imporant, then to take the truth.

Nick Vujicic also a good example of lying to yourself...

I would posit that you're not brave enough now to seize any opportunities to be a happier person. Lets take Mr. Vujicic no limbs, but I think he has genitals, and I bet he has a ton of creepy sex with weird power dynamics with fawning young Christian girls these days, when his wife isn't looking... bet he was a virgin until later in life. Tony Robbins creepy sex. He gets to spew his dishonesty to people who want to pay to hear it! His life _is_ awesome even if he is hell bound.
If it's easier to lie to yourself, and the payoff for doing so is fitting in better to society, more sex, more money, more power.....then why not lie to yourself in that way? Seems to be a lot more fun than the lies you tell yourself that are just dragging you down and making you more immediately hateful.

You lie with your numbers, the average Woman sleeps with around 8 people in their whole lives, and the ability to take travel vacations every year is restricted to the upper middle classes and above these days.
Here, play with this sexual calculator, put in an imaginary girl of your preferred age and number of sexual partners and see how average they are:
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/moneybox/2015/05/sex_history_calculator_is_your_number_of_sexual_partners_low_average_or.html

 

[suzieq70s]

Sorry I keep on accidentally deleting my posts damnit.

The cold hard truth you're never going to be happy unless you let go of your past. And let go of your views that are unrealistic and not truth. They just aren't plain and simple. And until you find something else that brings you happiness and satisfaction. Sex is not everything. Truth.

Unless you're willing to help yourself no one else can help you.

Again just the cold hard truth

 

[Moreaux]

Andreass - your posts are self deprecating and make you sound like you are bitter about your perceived lot in life, and you have a skewed view on women. If your posts are any indication of how you interact with people in real life, you may be responsible for your own "bad luck" with women. I don't mean this offensively, but your posts are both depressing and creepy. Back when I was single if I found a guy to be depressing, I would not spend time with him. If I found him to be creepy, I would out right avoid him.

You could be a great guy - but women aren't going to give you the chance if you depress them or weird them out. From your posts it sounds like you could really benefit from talking to a professional counselor about your self confidence (or lack there of), about why you perceive yourself to be a victim (another turn off to women), and your depression.

Again, not trying to offend you or hurt your feelings.

 

[andreass]

If a women is turned of by this, it prooves that a person who is depressive or sad is worth nothing for beautiful women. This prooves we are not equal humans and we are anot all worth the same. This shows people dont want problems these days in their lifes, like media told them its not worth to deal with partner problems. Thats why there are also so many divorces and couples seperate.

I can never let go of past, because this past defines as and gives us worth in the present. How many fun we had in youth and sex. I can never be together with a girl who had a lot of sex, because she is goddess for me, i can never be on their level, but on the other hand i would not want a women who didnt sleep around.

 

[Philosoraptor]

What the fuck.



Be your own person, do your own things that make you happy, and quit comparing your life to the life of others. Pretty much the only thing you need to survive on a daily basis is a little money, so having a job is usually required unless you're one of the lucky ones lol. But other than that do whatever the fuck makes you a happy person!




After I read "which have regular sex since youth, had a few thousand times sex and orgasms" I suspect this is probably a troll thread, and if so OP you are one cheeky cunt m8 I swear it

 

[Moreaux]

If a women is turned of by this, it prooves that a person who is depressive or sad is worth nothing for beautiful women. This prooves we are not equal humans and we are anot all worth the same. This shows people dont want problems these days in their lifes, like media told them its not worth to deal with partner problems. Thats why there are also so many divorces and couples seperate.

I can never let go of past, because this past defines as and gives us worth in the present. How many fun we had in youth and sex. I can never be together with a girl who had a lot of sex, because she is goddess for me, i can never be on their level, but on the other hand i would not want a women who didnt sleep around.

Yes - beauty is completely subjective. There is no singular/universal definition of beauty. Beauty does not equal the value a person holds. However, the value a person holds is also subjective. Traits that are important are going to vary from person to person. There is no concrete singular definition for either of those qualities - and what you find to be beautiful and valuable in a person are only applicable to you. Your logic is flawed, and it seems as though you are basing the entire worth of your being on a fallacy...you are going to be miserable until you change this mind set.

As for problems, yes, in general most living beings want the fewest number of problems possible - people are no different. Why should any rational person jump into a relationship they can tell is going to be problematic from the beginning? Divorces happen because people realize they are no longer trapped by the convention of marriage when the relationship is no longer fulfilling. I think you are incorrect of stating that divorce happens because people don't want to deal with problems, as often divorce doesn't decrease the number of problems in a person's life, it adds to them. However, divorce give somebody the opportunity to release them from an unhappy situation so they have a chance at finding a happier situation, at least in my country (I'm guessing English is not your native tongue, so divorce may have different implications in your culture).

The past does not define our present day value. I am not a slave to my past, or held captive by it. As long as I continue to breath, I have the power to direct my present and future. If I am not happy where I am at currently in life, I have the power to be proactive and take steps to gain the type of life I want, as do you. You are in control of your own destiny, the only thing holding you back is you.

Out of curiosity, where are you from?

 

[GolemGolem]

I can never let go of past, because this past defines as and gives us worth in the present.

Maybe, but your memory and perception of your past seems all sorts of fucked up. Unless your past was much more fucked up than you have told us, you really have not given us any evidence of any life destroying trauma....just life destroying mental illness.
Even if I just don't get why your perceptions of yourself and females are so maladaptive, you have not used up your future yet. You're not done suffering, but there more productive ways of suffering that will help you find some perspective - and maybe even happiness in the future.
You have family? What do they say about all of this?

 

[Burnt Offerings]

Don't feed the troll, guys. 8)

 

[andreass]

Maybe, but your memory and perception of your past seems all sorts of fucked up. Unless your past was much more fucked up than you have told us, you really have not given us any evidence of any life destroying trauma....just life destroying mental illness.
Even if I just don't get why your perceptions of yourself and females are so maladaptive, you have not used up your future yet. You're not done suffering, but there more productive ways of suffering that will help you find some perspective - and maybe even happiness in the future.
You have family? What do they say about all of this?[/QUOTE=GolemGolem;13448933]

I am from europe. Family i dont have and i dont miss them (and no, nothing bad happened, but family was for me always burden).

I am just watching a movie where a 16 year old gets pregnant and mother asked her if she used all the 100 condom pack that she buyed her, and she says yes. Do you understand this? Compare to my life, with no sex. How much this women alived? Compare to me. This is just one example. Most of women have regular sex since youth so please dont tell me its different. And especially are normal and goodlooking women. Understand please what those women will alive until they are so old as me now, 29. And i didnt nothing. I was only in my room behind pc and at job. I am marked forever because of this, unfortunatelly.

And i am not a troll (i wish i would be).

 

[Burnt Offerings]

You seem like a troll to me. For one, the premise of what you're saying is complete bullshit. Women who have sex with unusually large numbers of partners often behave that way because they are NOT self-assured people, and attention from men helps make them feel "wanted" & bolsters their fragile egos.

And secondly, if you want to have sex with a lot of people go do it. Join a sex club, they exist in all major cities. Post ads on the internet, get involved with swingers, start up a nice crystal methamphetamine addiction & get involved in the kind of social set that revolves around that drug, etc. You'll be having sex with 100's of partners in no time and will learn exactly how "fulfilling" that kind of life is 8)

 

[suzieq70s]

The past does not define our present day value. I am not a slave to my past, or held captive by it. As long as I continue to breath, I have the power to direct my present and future. If I am not happy where I am at currently in life, I have the power to be proactive and take steps to gain the type of life I want, as do you. You are in control of your own destiny, the only thing holding you back is you.

Out of curiosity, where are you from?

This here is truth.

I don't know what else to say except that none of us are defined by our past if we were we'd all be screwed

And again until you are willing to help yourself no one can help you

There is a lot of good advice here and a lot of truth from the people responding. You should really try to listen to it

 

[GolemGolem]

And i didnt nothing. I was only in my room behind pc and at job. I am marked forever because of this, unfortunatelly.

And i am not a troll (i wish i would be).

So, you were/are a loner, who spends too much time on the internet, but not so bad as to be unemployable. . .That's not a huge mark against you. Your crushing sense of inadequacy, and creepy delusions about women is a fucking huge mark against you....but....only until you find a way of working on it and making progress.
You find a way to dial those two things back to more normal levels....and you would be normal.
Telling you man, a solid counselor to talk to, and maybe a support group for shut-ins and you could be well on your way to a better life.

That's all I have to say about that, so I think I'm out.

Go to counseling, you'll thank yourself in time.

 

[jammin83]

I really think this is most likely not a troll post per se. I think a lot of people feel like this at some point or another to varying degrees. its more the unwavering from some of the more real advice one can find on the internet. type II trolling.

 

[SixBuckets]

You seem like a troll to me. For one, the premise of what you're saying is complete bullshit. Women who have sex with unusually large numbers of partners often behave that way because they are NOT self-assured people, and attention from men helps make them feel "wanted" & bolsters their fragile egos.

How is this any better than the rubbish the OP is posting? We're not living in the 1950s anymore. Women have sex for the same reasons men do - yes, some of those reasons are negative, but there's also a lot of positive reasons to have sex with lots of people. Plenty of perfectly healthy and self-assured women have racked up a large number of sex partners because sex is a fun and mostly harmless thing to do with your time.

Women don't need your judginess about their self-esteem and "unusually" high sex drives any more than they need the OP being a creepy weirdo about their sexual histories.