TheLoveBandit
Retired Never Was, Coulda been wannabe
Paper Tigers (2020) <Netflix>
That's pretty accurate, solid cast of B actors you almost recognize, but don't. We start with some glimpses of their teen years as they were the only students of some Sifu master, a few VHS clips of recurring fights with 'Carter' (Mathew Page) as the white guy trying to hard to prove his Kung Fu skills and constantly getting his arse handed to him by the best of the three teens, Danny Eight Hands (Alain Uy). Danny is perhaps the best among the B actors, but Hing (Ron Yuan) provides the heart and soul of the group; not sure what Jim brings to the trio other than being the token black guy. First act sets our characters, where we focus a lot on Danny being divorced and not the best dad but someone we can relate to, it provides glimpses back to their teen years and establishes that Danny was good enough to get an invite to Japan where he promptly disappeared leaving his friends. Now their Sifu has died (we get a scene of someone Kung Fu'ing him in an alley, so was he that good?) and the trio reunite to solve the death. Carter is played perfectly as that obnoxious white guy, and provides our nemesis through the second act. Ok, too much detail, sorry. Cut to the chase, the acting is decent if you are ready to watch B acting. The plot is pretty thin, such that there is a new character introduced in the last act that had nothing to do with the earlier acts really, kinda cheap cop out, IMO. Decent fight sequences, better than expected from a B movie. But the true value of this film is in the writing and dialogue. In searching for the killer we have our trio square off against a young street gang, and there is frequent back and forth with Carter doling out clues and wanting to fight Danny again to hopefully win one finally. I seriously laughed out loud several times like I haven't in years. That alone was worth the price of admission. The story wraps up, mystery solved, everyone re-evaluates who they are, who they want to be going forward, yay...a Disney ending without the princess. Not a great film, but decent, and just right for a cheap 90min of low brow humor if you're up for it = for example, Carter offers to fight each of the three and if any one of them beats him he'll divulge what he knows. Second round is deemed an unfair match so he offers his opponent a weapon and says the fight is to first blood. Conversation flows to something like (going from memory, no quotes on imdb)
Hing: First blood? Even a drop?
Carter: Even a pin prick.
Hing: I'll pin you, ya prick.
Carter: I'll pin you with my prick....uh...
Hing: Dumb looks at his buddies
Like I said, low brow, but it flows very well. Worth it. 6.5/10
That's pretty accurate, solid cast of B actors you almost recognize, but don't. We start with some glimpses of their teen years as they were the only students of some Sifu master, a few VHS clips of recurring fights with 'Carter' (Mathew Page) as the white guy trying to hard to prove his Kung Fu skills and constantly getting his arse handed to him by the best of the three teens, Danny Eight Hands (Alain Uy). Danny is perhaps the best among the B actors, but Hing (Ron Yuan) provides the heart and soul of the group; not sure what Jim brings to the trio other than being the token black guy. First act sets our characters, where we focus a lot on Danny being divorced and not the best dad but someone we can relate to, it provides glimpses back to their teen years and establishes that Danny was good enough to get an invite to Japan where he promptly disappeared leaving his friends. Now their Sifu has died (we get a scene of someone Kung Fu'ing him in an alley, so was he that good?) and the trio reunite to solve the death. Carter is played perfectly as that obnoxious white guy, and provides our nemesis through the second act. Ok, too much detail, sorry. Cut to the chase, the acting is decent if you are ready to watch B acting. The plot is pretty thin, such that there is a new character introduced in the last act that had nothing to do with the earlier acts really, kinda cheap cop out, IMO. Decent fight sequences, better than expected from a B movie. But the true value of this film is in the writing and dialogue. In searching for the killer we have our trio square off against a young street gang, and there is frequent back and forth with Carter doling out clues and wanting to fight Danny again to hopefully win one finally. I seriously laughed out loud several times like I haven't in years. That alone was worth the price of admission. The story wraps up, mystery solved, everyone re-evaluates who they are, who they want to be going forward, yay...a Disney ending without the princess. Not a great film, but decent, and just right for a cheap 90min of low brow humor if you're up for it = for example, Carter offers to fight each of the three and if any one of them beats him he'll divulge what he knows. Second round is deemed an unfair match so he offers his opponent a weapon and says the fight is to first blood. Conversation flows to something like (going from memory, no quotes on imdb)
Hing: First blood? Even a drop?
Carter: Even a pin prick.
Hing: I'll pin you, ya prick.
Carter: I'll pin you with my prick....uh...
Hing: Dumb looks at his buddies
Like I said, low brow, but it flows very well. Worth it. 6.5/10
