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Whats the funniest thing you've ever seen someone on drugs do?

HOLY SHIT i've been laughing my ass off so hard.

Hmmm, let me thinkk.

Okay for new years this year, me and about friends just got really stoned cause my moms friend bought him a fat eighth. So were chilling in the shed, and my friend turns over to me, and goes chris, ARE YOU JESUS? And i answer yes. He then starts to freak out and runs out of the shed flailing his arms around saying CHRIS IS JESUS CHRIS IS JESUS! And then he trips and falls into the pool! I could't laugh at this time cause i know how much it sucks going into a FREEZING pool, while your high, so i get him towels and he changes his clothes.

Then while were inside he tells me, chris its okay that your jesus, i still love you, then instantly falls asleep. Not remembering anything in the morning.

Am i the only one that get get really baked, and just chill and actually have a normal conversation? I don;t have to laugh like a fucking idiotic monkey to know im high, like ALL of my friends.

edit-the same friend, everytime i would flash my camera at him he would flip his shit, saying it was burning him!
 
Candyflipping on Christmas Eve in the middle of the day....

...then I wound up in a shopping center, with a liquor store and a coles, wanting to buy wine and chips.

But as I was walking down the asile in Coles (grocery), I turned to my friend and it all started:

Me: "I hate the taste of wine."
Friend: "Then why do you want it? Do you eat food you hate? No. So why drink what you hate?"
Me: "I'm such a picky eater. And it sucks, I wish I just enjoyed all food. You know, I've seen you eat before. I've had you at my apartment for dinner. I know you are just like me. I've made you food that you just pushed around!"
Friend: "Sure, of course."
Me: "We need to improve our lives. We need to overcome our distates for certain popular foods and learn to love them all equally. It will make us happier, and we'll never be let down at a friend's home for dinner again."
Friend: "You are right. Christmas is supposed to be about giving and being thankful and appreciative, but really just a bunch of fat people want to stuff their faces with what they deem to be tasty. Screw that."
Me: "Ya, and screw loving all people equally. People have morals that they relinquish, but food is all just food."

And then after a bit more of a diolague about the merits of buying underappreciated food on Christmas, we then spent close to 100 dollars each on horrible stuff, laughing and feeling very proud the whole time.

That was pretty funny in retrospect, but also I was left with nothing but disgusting food.
 
I was at a bad ass party and the cops came and one of my sober friends ran...

One time I was rolling with a friend and I went to get some juice from my fridge and when I came back to my room he was rubbing his face on my cat like "it feels sooooooooo good"
 
for my mom's 50th she went pretty hard on the wine.. she NEVER gets super drunk, she must have got peer pressured into it or something.. anyways..

shes standing at the doorway saying goodbye to some friends, shes slurring and leaning on her friend so she wouldnt fall on her face... then all the sudden she slowly starts leaning away from her friend, starts to fall, but saves herself by kinda hopping on her outside foot
she proceeds to do this across the living room getting faster and faster.. way outta control at this point,
on the other side of the living room, she knocks over this huge fuckin expensive china cabinet which falls and smashes this shelf in the corner of the room, goes to grab the curtain for support to stop her from falling down again, rips the curtain rod off the wall, spins around, the curtain rod swings like a fuckin mace and sticks right into the drywall, perfectly perpendicular to the wall, my mom crashes back and sticks her ass right through the drywall...
after like 5 seconds off complete silence, my mom just says "oh fuck shits" the ten or so people who just witnessed what happened all burst out laughing
 
me and my friend were gonna try shrooms for the first time one night, but the connect never came through, so we decided to do dxm. i did it once before, and this was gonna be his first time.

after running around the neighborhood at midnight, looking like dumbasses, we decide to climb onto his roof using an unstable wooden fence.

getting up there whilst on dxm was quite a challenge, but we made it and being up on the roof felt amazing, but then when we were gonna come down, my friend said he couldnt do it cause the fence was too far down, so he spent nearly half an hour contemplating on whether or not he should just jump off lmao

that night ended up being the worst night of my life, and my friends mom went through my text messages to see what we were doing that night cause i left it in my car after being rushed to the er in an ambulance, and i was texting my friend saying we were on the roof, and my friend P just cant come down, and she thought those were terms for being really high on some drug, when we really were on the roof, and my friend was stuck and really couldnt come down lmao

then when i was at the hospital, and they were saying, were not here to judge you, but this is for your own safety.. are you on any drugs right now? and i didnt wanna look like an idiot and say i chugged a bottle of robitussin, so i said no, and the whole time i was expecting to have a bad drug reaction at the hospital
 
lsdongs said:
Why'd you go to the ER
Click to expand...

long story short, some dudes tried takin my car at gunpoint, but i wouldnt let them, so i slammed and the gas, they started shooting, and i got shot in my upper left torso.

i dont feel like typing the full story since i only have one working hand after the incident, so just look up my name for threads i started, and you should be able to find the full story in some of my threads
 
Classic one, people falling face flat on nitrous walking around doing balloons at parties LOL.

sit down or fall down mannn
 
^ I still have the scars from falling over on a skate-ramp on nitrous a year a go....
When I did it I was in heaps of pain screaming and shit and my friend just goes "Quick have some more man, it's an anaesthetic"
 
untaMe said:
Classic one, people falling face flat on nitrous walking around doing balloons at parties LOL.

sit down or fall down mannn
Click to expand...

Ketamine is probably just as bad for that. Was at one memorable party and was sat behind the DJ in a lil chill tent skinning up next to some guy with at least an ounce of ketamine (and the rest :D) piled on a record in his lap. He was there all night just snorting one huge line after another. Was some young girly's birthday so he racked her up a line...

Whilst this was going on, some random wasted hippy fella plonks himself down next to me and points at my lighter and grunts a bit. Gave him a light for his spliff and he gives me a 1/4oz of bud in return and wanders off grinning like a loon - never uttered a word the whole time. Turned to my friend to say "Did that really just happen?" when the aforementioned pretty young girl promptly k-holed in my lap.

Gotta love free parties for insane levels of drug abuse and completely unexpected things occurring at regular intervals :D

Doesn't sound so funny written like that - one of those "had to be there" moments - but was pure class at the time :)
 
The other night I found my friend sorting receipts. When I asked him what he was doing, it was apparent that he was in the middle of a sleepwalking nod, so I just let him do his thing since he was perfectly safe at the kitchen table and watched some TV while waiting for him to come to.

When he did he was like "WTF? When did you get here...and what am I doing with these receipts?"

He obviously thought he had some method going since while he was doing it he was tediously deciding which receipt went in which of FIVE different piles, but when we tried to make sense of it, there was no rhyme or reason in any way.

It was amusing to say the least.
 
I dunno if i'd call it that funniest but one of my mates one night on acid freaked out while we were walking home and tried to hide from the police under the white line in the middle of the road and cut his face up something bad by going head first
 
Wtf

me n my mates went to an illegal rave close to osbournby (sleaford area) n we was waitin at tesco to get the next directions from the party line and a few of my mates wer like dont get the ket now or we wont make it to the rave but anyways fuck it we got the ket off sum random lad parked in the car park n i tell you it was the best ketamine ive ever sniffed it blew my brains out i didnt have a clue why i was even born after i had a line of tht it was propa k-hole shit. anyway just after we had our lines the police turn up at tescos and i didnt no wtf was goin thru my hed while this copper was speaking to me im surprised he didnt take me home becuz i was 15 years old out my hed in tesco car park in sleaford wen i lived in lincoln i cnt rememba a word the copper sed but he must hav been sound cuz i made it to the rave lol(after walkin 7 miles down the bypass). unluckily tho my mate cameron didntmake it. he had also had a big dirty line of ket and wen the police car was pulling off he decided to jump on the bonnet and started shouting 'TAKE ME TO THE RAVE' it was mad as FUCK. then the coppers got out the car n cameron just took of his shoe, threw it on the floor n started rolling around hugging it. it turned out quite bad for him actualy he was the only 1 who didnt make it to the rave bcuz the ambulance ended up coming and he got handcuffed to the bed in the back and got took to the hospital and sedated and had to sit up all night wiv a specialist tlkin to him bcuz ur not aloud to be left alone while ur on drugs haha how freaky wud that k-hole be inside a hospital wiv weird ppl all round u.
 
might be "shoulda been there"-thing but a friend was tripping hard on acid, went a bought KFC, got it home, put it on the table and.......just looked at it. Apparently he just couldn't understand it. Couldn't understand how to open the packaging, let alone it eat. Was funny at the time. Completely complexed! lol
 
my friends dad was tripping complete face on 5 g shrooms and i put on my friend's devil mask and scared the shit out of him, i feel kind of bad now because he spent like a full day and a half holding onto a table leg crying. i laughed a lot but i was 10 and i didnt understand how serious the situation was hahah.
 
^^ That's really not good :(

Anyway...I'm sure there are heaps but I can't think of them at the moment. But one time me and some friends took mushies - one friend was taking them for the first time. They made him throw up in the sink but he didn't want to waste the mushies...so he ate his vomit!

Another time, that same guy and some others had come home but noone had a key and we were locked out of the house. The owner of the house went round to check the windows but he and I told this other guy don't try and get in, just stay here, or you'll break a window. But he didn't listen and of course...the next thing I hear is the sound of a window shattering. Well that solved the problem or getting in, but after this the dude proceeded to get totally wasted, he was a total mess - having a very strange and intense reaction to ecstasy. He said he needed to go to the toilet and left but noone trusted him to know where to go and lucky because when we got into the hallway he was in the process of pissing in the home owners' mum's room - with her inside :|

Finally, I heard this story about a school friend. She was quite young and it was one of her first times getting totally trashed on alcohol. She was staying at a friends house, and while totally off guts, pissed in her friends parents closet while they where asleep in the room.
 
I have so many crazy fucking stories but for some reason this little one popped into my head...

I was up in my friend Kait's room, we were stoned I think, this was about 3 years ago I'm guessing, and everyone went downstairs for food or some shit except for me and this dude Brandon. Well he was like,
"Yo Smack, check it out." and he preceeds to light a pencil on fire before blowing it out and then he lets it cool down a bit, fucking TAKES A BITE into it, chews up and SWALLOWS about half of the fucking burnt pencil. I was like "Dude what the fuck are you doing?" and he's just like "It's good". Totally not the dude I would expect to do something like this. Anyway, before the rest of our friends come back upstairs he writes "Smack is a pencil eater" on Kait's dresser and when everyone comes back up he somehow convinces the entire group that I was the one who ate the pencil and not him. God that was so frustrating. hahahaha.
 
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