whats really going on.

Well i havnt really been keeping up with my blog because i'm always on the move it's like.
Alot of stuff have happened since last.
Im living in a kind of sober living type house, which its a step up from rehab and halfway house. This is like the next step for folks getting of rehab you can say. Less structerd and rules but still have the ultimate rule which is not use drugs or alcohol. Ive broken one of those rules. I used drugs. Got back on heroin when i broke up with my ex thing.and turnd to drugs to help with those emotions that i was dealing with..never delt with such fuckd up emotions before in soberity. I have now but got high. I stayed getting high.shooting heroin atleast 5 times daily if not more. Shit was turning back again into an addiction. Spending $100 a day on h. When i ran out and pissd of my middle man because i didnt give him any i ended up getting on methadone. Thought it was a good idea because i wouldnt feel sick from getting off the h. That was mayb a month ago i got on mmt. And have been doing good since being on it. Now its turnd on me.i feel that im getting hooked to the h, i havnt yet experienced extreme wd from not taking it besides the sweats. The thing is im living in an envioment that is drug free and i can be pisstested at any given time. Methadone wasnt part of the deal of me moving here in this 3 quarters house ill call it. So it shows up on drugtests.. so im having to keep a hotel mouthwash sized bottle tuckd in my pants just incase i get peed. Its got a yello solution in it thats clean..
anyways the past 2 weeks have been good in my life. Not really a care in the world. Ive been house sitting watching my mom and stepdads place while they are having a time of their life in Hawaii. So i was left to take care of the critters. It was like living in heaven there. Had internet.huge flatscreen awezome bed.and place to my damn self. Shit was great, ive been taking my methadone all this time and been clean besides that.now my folks r back in town and my controlling stepdad wants to controll and manipulate everything. Wanted me out, and i told him ill leace today sunday. Got sick lastnight to.im guessing that it is my methadone. Like really nauseated. So he trips that im always sick blahblah. He doesnt kno that ive gone out of my time to keep his place safe and feed the animals.
Moms been cool to me, she gave me some suivoners and some hawiaan sugarcane.which looks tastey to chew on. She helped me out with some money and filled up my tank which was forty bucks. Got a full tank n it feels good riden around now. And knowing i can spend more money on methadone. Mom n i parted ways n i went to wallmart to do some grochery shopping at wallmart. Got wat i needed and made the shitty drive back to reality at my shotgun house. So when i got here the roomate whom i fucking hate had thought he could lock me out. He thought wrong. Im an addict whos lived on the street.. i know how to get in a house. Anyways i was able to get in the house and my room. I set a trap on my door so when i went to my parents i could tell if anyones been in and out of my room. Which the trap showed that someone has been in my room.
I havnt seen my room mate face to face yet. Im not going to because i dont want to get upset. Tonight im looking up ideas and ways that people have turned their car into a mobile home. I drive a 4door toyota camery so its like a basic car. Going to try and make it into an rv if i can find any plans..
Well thats up to my life at this moment. Ill keep informing when shit comes up.
Ds

 

Hey D's! Good to see you around here!

Shitty about the whole living arrangement thing. Are you working at the moment, by the way? Looking? I ask, because if you're not working, as you may already know, it's a bitch and a half to get a job if you're 'of no permanent address'.

 

hey dave, sorry couldnt reply sooner. kinda been up shit creek without a paddle but atleast i still have my canoe! im despretly looking for a job, but without a cellphone and having my sisters # down as a contact number (which shes a alcoholic and sleeps until after 3pm), im sure a few people have tried to call for me.
i feel fucking miserable man, just the shitty ass situations i get myself in, and living out of black bags aint my shit, i want to be able to work hard, and have a place i can call home. but for now and the next few days my car is my home, im not letting it get to me because its really not too bad, i mean yea i get all sticky n shit, but it could be worse..alot worse, i am hopeful that ill make it through the day without using because i have enough of that willpower to say no, before i left i stuck my rigs needle point into a tree and broke the syringe so now i cant do my doc like i like to and fuck snorting shit, took alot of balls to do that because somepart of me was like yo keep that shit, but fuck man if i get caught with a rig on me, thats jail n there goes my shit.