Thanks, I'll see if I can find it, but I basically said most of what I did in the other thread except I didn't detail what happened when I had a really bad loss of magic.
Basically, I had just gotten a new job, so had lots of money and had just happened to also get a connect for dank pills after LONG time off. Bad combo. Job sucked, so went on tear. Did around 200 - 300 pills in about 4 months. Life of course became intensely focused on e with not much else going on. In other words, I relyed mostly on e for my happiness and for entertainment and enjoyment.
It finally ended when I went out and dropped 10 of these super bombs I had been eating that tested 100% clean by ecstasydata.org...I was fucked up, but that night was just plain depressing. There was no love, no empathy, no euphoria, etc...on 10 great pills. Don't get me wrong, this was a long time coming, but sometimes you just don't listen to the signs. If it weren't for the ensuing winter months giving me time on the mountain, not sure how I would've recovered from that. Took awhile.
My main point is that if you depend on e or things related to e for happiness and then suddenly that isn't able to make you happy anymore, you're left with nothing. Ordinarily, this wouldn't be so bad, but now e can't make you happy and because your seratonin is shot, you're going to get depressed anyway...it's a double wammy. You're depressed because of taking to much e and now your really depressed cause e won't work anymore.
I'd strongly recommend listening to what your rolls are telling you and not letting it get to that point. But, if you do, have a game plan. Make sure you have other shit going on in your life so that your not left with nothing. When I binge now, I only do it for a couple months cause otherwise my life just doesn't progress outside of it.
Hope that wasn't too long and confusing.