What's happening to me?

Lazy, useless, asshole.

Will not be going back to school next semester. Sigh. How do I manage to get a B in my difficult class and a WU in my easy class? Oh, right, by not showing up... I guess my High School Guidance Counselor was right... College just isn't for me. Thanks for leaving me with that stuck in my mind, you fucking monkey looking, green banana eating beast of a woman...

I'm so depressed. I spent the last 3 days in bed, coming off oxycodone the first day and the past 2 just being miserable.

I'm freezing cold, my nose is running, I gave myself a sinus infection from snorting all of that Roxy, my liver is probably going to give out because I don't CWE Percocet because I'm afraid of losing the precious oxy with any of the Tylenol...

Sometimes I wish I would come down with some terrible disease or get into some horrible accident where I can spend the rest of my days in an opiate stupor and at least there would be a reason for it.

But that's a fucked up thing to say, especially because I'm just wasting my youth... As they say, youth is wasted on the young... Plus I'm not even that young anymore and it isn't cute... I just wish I had some sense of purpose. I'm just rotting from the inside out.

 

word. I can relate especially to the horrible disease or accident part I used to say that alot. Honestly you have all the time in the world to finish college if thats what you want to do try taking a class or two at community college its cheap and you could still work while your doing that. After that maybe give a 4 year school another shot. I personally failed out of my first year at university was depressed got hooked on heroin did that for a couple years then got clean and now im back in school and doing really well. Dont be too hard on yourself

 

Ha, I remember visiting my dying grandfather in a hospice, and they were injecting him with morphine. All I could think was, damn I wish i was him. Just for a few hours.

Cheer up though kid. College isn't really all that, but I'm sure you could get into some kind of community college or take some non degree classes just to keep yourself busy and further your education.

I really do empathize with you though, I can only imagine what my life would be like had I gotten into opiates while in high school.(I waited till freshman year of college to start doing dope.) you should be proud though that you're quitting the oxy cold turkey, I can't imagine doing that. When the shit hit the fan I always went to a detox or got a prescription for suboxone. Maybey you should consider trying it out. If you can quit cold turkey and stay off opiates that's awesome but those cravings are fucking god awfull. I hope you the best of luck. Being an addict at a young age is real hard, Ive been struggling with heroin and cocaine addiction for the last five years, and all I can say is that shit just gets uglier. If you ever want to PM feel free

Oh and don't let that bitch guidance counselor get you down. That seems like a cruel and unfair thing to say to anyone

 

i've been there with the whole school thing. it can be extremely frustrating. there's nothing wrong with taking a semester off. i think that society puts too much emphasis on putting your all into something (such as school) even if you're not happy doing that. you might find a different major later that fits you better (that's what i did) or you might find that continuing on with school just isn't for you which is fine too. take the path that's right for YOU.