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What's going on in your life?

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-my mom doesn't call. doesn't stop in. doesn't really care about us kids anymore. she lives 10 minutes from me and works 5 minutes from me and yet i never see her.
-my dad is bitter all the time. the only time he ever speaks to us is to bark orders at us or collect money for rent. he told me i was doing nothing with my life. yet he didn't pay my bill for school so they dropped me from all my classes.
 
My mother's going back to her homeland in a month. Things between her and my father have been very stressful for a long time. We went to a wedding this past weekend, and mybrother and sis-in-law told me that it would be much better if I found someone on my own, but I can't stop thinking about my ex.
We fought for almost 9 months before we decided not to talk. It's 4 months later, and now the issues that plauged our relationship (ie: her being white, and me being south asian), are now not important, but I don't know what I can say to her to tell her that things have changed.
I plan on giving her more space, but it's hard when she comments on my blog, but it's not like I'm having a hard time with it. I would just like to know that she's my friend, and that she doesn't hold a grudge towards me.
My mother said that she was going to go back home (India) for a month, but the other night she asked us if it would be okay if she would go for 6 months or more. She's been really hard on us, and been really stressed out. She doesn't stop scratching her skin, and has problems b/c of it.
My father is a workaholic and just wants his kids to be happy. He doesn't care, nor my mother, about who I end up having as a mate. I was too scared to deal with it when I was dating my ex.
Now after a year, I've changed so much, and am doing something that I love (professional writing), and have my life on track.
I just wish that things would be ok with everyone else.
Thanks for listening.
 
So much is happening right now I just had to share:
Well first things first I think I may be falling in love. It's the last thing I wanted really since I'm so busy...but there he is and who am I to turn down a chance at being in love. 'Tis the most exciting thing isn't it?
My fire dancing seems to be taking an interesting turn>>I have an audition for a paying gig tonite>>WOW...I only ever started doing it cause I loved it and now this is happening and I can barely believe my luck.
School is starting on Monday which I"m actually really pumped for...I finally know what I want to work for and that seems to have resolved much of my previous confusion about why I was even going to school.
I've lost all my id...and apparently my birth certificate is not valid (so basically I don't exist) but that's okay cause I always seem to have the most fun doing things that don't cost any money :D
*~Sugar~*
 
My life has had a recent turn for the better...
Let's see...
I've fallen deeply in love with my current girlfriend.
I've realised what I want to do in life.
I've started school. (This is a good thing. It keeps me from doing the next thing.)
I've quit drugs. (for the very most part) (YAAY!)
I've realised that I want to travel a lot when I get enough money and I'm older.
I've started meditating.
 
^^^ You inspired me. I saw this in your post and remembered why I started meditating in the first place, and I'm finally back to it. Why in the world did I ever stop in the first place!?! Dunno, but I won't let it happen again.
Work
School
Work
School
This is my life, with other things thrown in between. It's the other things I'm after, and it's amazing to be appreciating the good parts of my life again, more so than I have in a while. I'll be off of probation in three short weeks, and it's such a relief!!!
I'm ready to move, I miss Southern California. But I'm happy, so there's really no reason to be upset about anything right now. I'll enjoy this peace while it lasts and hope to carry it around with me wherever I go, even if only in small doses. :)
 
-School is starting soon (sophmore year in college)
-I have been having a lot of misunderstandings with friends these past few weeks. and a nice incedent where I boy I like sent me an email telling me how much is wrong with me....(makes me realise I need to work on how I am in relationships)
-I have been doing a lot of self evaluating and am rather depressed because I feel like a shitty person
-I have a great new roomate, who I adore! Thank god she isn't turning out like my previous one
-I am gaining a better relationship w/ my family now that I have moved out.
-I am deathly afraid of getting fat. Although I am out of my anorexia, and eating normal (and enjoying eating) I am afraid of suddenly becoming a blimp...(sounds dumb I am sure)
well, don't know what else to say. life is good and bad. always a mix, and always a roller coaster.
 
well, if anyone is interested:
My world is actually starting to fall back into place. I have moved back home (well, where my parents are now)and my life is finally becoming normal again. I am actually really glad to be home, that's a feeling I really don't ever remember having, except when I came to visit. I really realize now how much I missed being around my family.
Everything just seems to be going good so far, I got a job the day after I got here, don't laugh but at Hooters! It's alot of fun though, it is actually a great place to work, and good money for now.
I am actually starting to realize that I need to focus more on myself and my life, instead of worrying about having someone else in my life. Though I have came to the realization now that my divorce is about to be final that my husband is really gone. I mean, I am glad but it still hurts. He has been there for 5 years now, and just the fact of not having him to turn to whenever I need someone, just as my bestfriend is what really hurts. But, life goes on, and I know I have friends that will be there for me, and i will survive!
I have put my entire social life on the back burner for awhile, I really need to just focus on getting my life back on track (somewhere that it seems like it hasn't been in a really long time)!
Overall.... I am just really glad that for the first time, In I don't even remember how long, I am happy with my life, and happy with myself, and I just can't explain how amazing it really feels.
It actually feels really weird to be here writing to BL being happy, when for so long I have been so miserable!
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
[ 15 September 2002: Message edited by: MissTwitch ]
 
I'm spending less and less time online socializing as I've begun to feel that all of this faceless interacting has been retarding my real time social skills. 8)
I'm mobile again and I am enjoying being outdoors and traveling with my camera.
I have begun exercising and have cut down on my consumption of alcoholic beverages.
 
Still trying to figure out my living situation. I just can't seem to leave my town. :( While I need to save money and could use the help, I don't want to stay or live with a guy unless it's strictly platonic..even if it keeps me out of trouble ;) This has been stressing me out-while he wants to offer me help and while I could really use it- I know with that..will come the desire for a very serious relationship which is something I am not ready for or that I desire.
Work is going well-my softball team is the worst in the league but I love playing.I was thinking last week that I needed some extra money besides my paychecks. Over the weekend there were some people spinning at a local bar/restuarant and while I was there the owner asked if I'd be interested in picking up some shifts-that night and on the weekends. :) Perfect- I could really use the help and it'd be fun too.
I had a beyond crazy weekend. It was a lot of fun and unexpected. I met the most unique, crazy, guy on Friday and didn't leave his side until yesterday. He's a silly,pill popping,33 year old crazy man who broke his collar bone last week on his electronic skateboard. While I wouldn't date him-he has fun seeping through his pores.Our adventures were over the top-sometimes it's fun to hang out with the insane ;) and I laughed-laughed harder then I have in a long time.
I need to try harder, much harder. I haven't been challenging myself as much as I could be.
I like myself lately (this week) and have been pretty content.
[ 17 September 2002: Message edited by: Sweetpea ]
 
Still one of my favorite threads of all time :)
Let's see...
Just when I thought that I was destined to be alone for the remainder of life. I know that sounds extreme but I was totally ok with being that way. There's this girl who I used to talk to at the gym from time to time. She used to always be there with this one guy. I and everyone else (small fitness center) assumed that they were together. I remembered she asked me about my "situation" and of course I replied "I'm not seeing anyone at the moment". So we were chatting some more and I asked if she was with that guy. She said that she was very single. :) So I asked her out and so we've been hanging out ever since. I can't really say that I'm in love but I can tell that she's someone that will forever be in my life in some way. She's straight edge which is a change from the norm. She has her shit together.
I've recently caught up with some old friends from back in the days. Lost some old ones. Some I miss, some I don't. Everyone seems to be pretty damn cool for the most part.
My oldest brother trippin. I don't get to talk to him even though he comes by the house a few times a week. I truely believe he's got a anger problem. Sucks because he's got the cutest kids in the world. I don't get to see them very often as I used to. :(
It think it's hilarious that I couldn't get a chick if I tried but end up hooking up with someone I wouldn't think would give me a chance. :D So now that I'm in a committed relationship, I seemed to be getting more and more female's numbers? *sighs* Why couldn't this happen when I wasn't committed? It's okay because I enjoy the ego boost from time to time.
ruffiano
 
Wow....it's been ages since I've been on Bluelight. Lots of changes in my world...good ones :) I'm in the process of packing right now to move into my own place. I've had ups and downs with my current roomie and I wouldn't change anything that happened, but it's time to go our separate ways. It's the end of an era :) We've painted our orange walls white again. It's like we've been in a dark club for 1 1/2 yrs and someone finally turned the lights on. (Those of you who have been here will understand what I mean) ;)
I've cut my hair off and I swear that it instantly made me feel more mature. No more pigtails and buns...I'm a professional now. I'm still adjusting to it though.
I accidently met a really sweet guy. I'm just enjoying getting to know him...taking it very slow. Not sure if I really want a *gulp* boyfriend. The word makes me cringe at this point, we'll see.
Work is the main focus in my life right now. I miss "good times" but there's plenty of time for fun when all of this moving is done.
Oh hell I didn't mean to make a rhyme...
 
**I think it this is a very interesting post. How we all have some of the same problems, but oh so different in our on ways. It makes me feel good that I am not alone.
I've been recently entering many changes in my life. I have found stages that I never knew exsisted within me. And for the first time in awhile I am proud of myself. Because, I feel a certain contentment with myself. I feel like I found the direction of the path, I am suppose to choose. Even though everything around me has is either already fallen apart or is about to.
For the longest time, I couldn't allow myself to be happy. I hated everything about myself and around me. My family and I never exchanged words. And it killed me time and time again. And I recently started talking to them again and things are better than they ever have been. But, I'm afraid of letting us ever not getting along over the stupidest reasons. Things in time are short. And we find that sometimes things come to little to late. So, I had a recent show of reality. My mom is really sick. And who knows how much longer she'll be around. And I don't not want to be in her life because of things in our past.
I met the most interesting person ever, I never met someone so intelligant. So caring, he treats me like no other. I can't get enough of him. And all the wrong things in this world just fade away. Just when he takes me in his arms. And the fear of getting involved is always on my mind. Just rather be alone sometimes instead of getting my heart broken. But, as he says would you rather be the person at the ocean who takes there shoes of and just tests the water, or be the person who just jumps right in. So I'm going to jump right in.
Besides that I have school, and work which give me all the stress in the world. And time is moving so fast. And I can't keep track of the date.
Thanks for letting me share my life!
 
I am back in school for the first time in two years. I am taking a different approach this time: I am going to all my classes. And each night, I am reviewing what we went over in class. I can't believe how such simple techniques are making such fantastic differences. I know it is only the end of the first month of school, but I am confident that I know everything that has been covered so far. When my first midterms come up, I won't be cramming, only reviewing. I feel so much happier about it.
I ordered a bunch of furniture from Ikea, four weeks ago today, including a desk. My boyfriend and I are lucky in that our townhouse has two extra bedrooms, so we each get our own "office". Anyway, They said it would arrive in 1 - 3 weeks, but it is not here yet. I am quite pissed off about it because my computer is still sitting on the floor. Oh well...
It is starting to get cold outside, already. Makes me nervous. Apparently we will get our first snowfall before Halloween. The cool thing is I found out that they build an outdoor ice rink right next door to my complex. I think that is very cool and I will be buying ice skates soon.
Hmmmm...things with boyfriend are mostly good, but it can be tough. His father is quite sexist, and while bf isn't exactly the same, he has tendancies to act that way. Over the summer, he worked full-time and was trying to finish up his thesis, so I took care of all of the household stuff, but now I am in school fulltime, and he is finished his thesis, so I want us to share the chores. He agrees in principle, but I still have to ask him to unload the dishwasher or start a load of laundry. The other night, we had friends over for dinner, and while dinner was ready to be served, he just sat down with the guests and let me pull everything together. I know this doesn't sound like a huge deal, but we are at the point where we will probably spend the rest of our lives together. I have to decide if I can put up with this for the rest of my life.
My parents are very different from his. I think basically, his mom let's his dad get away with it because she is too tired to fight with him about it (I know she doesn't like it, because she's told/warned me). At my house, my mom would never let my dad get away with it if they are both working fulltime, and she would vocalize this. Anyway.......he is trying to change, so we shall see.
That's about all that is new for me, not very exiciting. On the other hand, this is the first period of my life in a few years that I can answer the phone without checking the call display, so the lack of excitement is quite calming, if excitement comes in the form of bill collectors, for example. (To anyone in too much debt: keep slaving away at it, one day you will be able to breath again)
Bye!
 
I seem to have a lot going on in my life at the moment.
I am in a relationship with a wonderful man that I love very much. He's so great. A lover and bestfriend all rolled into one. He has been living with me, but we have decided to move into his parents complex. We'll save money which will be nice. Right now we are having new carpet and ceramic tile put in. As soon as it's finished we will be moving in.
I am having relationship problems with my very closest and best friend. It often seems like I put 100% into our friendship all of the time, but only get back 50% of the friendship part of the time. Im not sure how to deal with this. Its not the first time she's put me off or treated me this way. I just know that I would not treat anyone I care about like this.
Im in school this semester and my classes are demanding and take up a lot of my time. My job seems overwhelming with some of things that I recently have to do. Some of my tasks have nothing to do with my job description and its not that I mind taking on new things, its just frustrating and overwhelming that I dont know how to do them.
 
Well let's see what's going on with myself.
It's been 3 weeks since i started going back to school part time as a graduate student. I should be doing the same as ^^^ who posted above me and review what we covered in class but i'm just being stupid and lazy. So i need to get on the ball with that.
My girlfriend and i are doing well. Our relationship continues to grow without any bumps in the road. Our new apt is coming along. We're moving into my parents apt complex and doing minor restoration. New paint, new ceramic tiles and new carpet is being put in. We've been buying a few new pieces of furniture to put in our new apt. Everything is going to look great. We both are very excited.
My parents are good it seems. The relationship b/t them and i seems to be adult. They don't try to treat me as if i'm still a child, but sometimes they still do.
I've continued to work hard at the gym to keep in shape. Lost the weight i wanted to lose back in Sept.2001 and been feeling confident about myself physically. All to the credit of my girlfriend and my friends. Most of my friends are coming up to me wanting me to help them out now. Makes me feel good to see them wanting to do this for themselves. But i never thought i was better then any of them and will never feel that way. I did this for me and i am happy. All around i feel healthy and continue to keep it up.
Bee
[ 20 September 2002: Message edited by: D12eAmLoVeR ]
 
I'm browsing through the area on a slow afternoon.. thought I'd drop a few lines ;)
I'm okay.. kind of getting sick of drugs, to be honest, which is totally uncharacteristic of little ole me... but I do enjoy a weekend romp with AMT sometimes or a whiskey sour-a-thon.
I just got a new job working for Pier One. Should be fun. I have been living with my boyfriend for about 3 months now, we have 2 kitten kids and are still going strong. We are moving to Raleigh next year for school and personal reasons... GSO sucks monkey dong.
I have made a slew of new friends recently.. its nice to have people to talk to other than myself :)
Still in school... still undecided about my major... still taking classes that are over my head... still going to try.
Well, i'm outti.
:)
 
UPDATE! (A la Unsolved Mysteries)
Well, my mom's staying home for a while longer. She's really concerned about her brothers (one lives in England, the other India). They are both really sick, and no one knows why. It's really hard on her, but she's trying to keep it together. I mean, stress effects everyone, and she's trying to keep it to herself.
This morning, I woke up, and got ready for class. I read some posts here on BL, and then, I was ready to leave. My mom called me, and asked if I wanted to have some tea. At first, I said no, but then turned around, and had some. I stood there in front of my mom, and I just hugged her. I remember her saying that she feels lonely here (in Canada, even though she's been here since 1977), and just needs a hug once in a while.
So I hug her, and she starts shaking in my arms. I hear sobbing, and hold her for a little while longer. What she's going through is a lot like how I'm feeling nowadays. Lonely, but unlike her, not alone.
 
I am now single again. My ex dumped me for one of my friends, after she told me that she needed to be by herself and did not want to be with anyone. It hurts, but I will get over it. :(
 
well, life has been beyond hectic lately
in mid july i started a job at my friend's parent's fruit stand. yes, i was the girl checking corn, standing out there when it was 110 degrees.
i was "weekend girl". (there was also "morning girl" and "afternoon girl".) well, morning girl and i started classes on the same day, and she left for school, so i took over what hours of hers i could, and we rearranged the schedule. i was then doing m/f/sat/sun (9:15 AM-6:45PM). well, afternoon girl left for school the 1st week of september, and since then i've been doing m/w/f/sat/sun. i have classes tuesdays and thursdays, so i haven't had a day off like 2 months. this was a bit stressful.
the only thing that saved me? i went to a party on august 10th and met the most amazing guy... (who just happens to be a bluelighter, which saved hours of explaining my addiction/obsession ;) )
but since then, here's how things have gone:
i got into my...um...5th accident... i fell asleep on the way home from southeastern CT and tapped a guard rail. goin about 60. to go to a body shop it'll cost me $2500-3500, but i can get the parts from a junkyard in hartford for $350, and a friend will do the labor for $15-20/hr, so that's cool. the problem is that i have $500 and i'm not working for this week (i need to rest) and i have to pay a premium for the new insurance policy me (and my parents) are getting. so i really have anywhere from -$250 to -$1250... so that means the fender and both doors will just have to wait (and continue to rust.) the heat shield is also cracked and making this LOVELY rattling noise. and my friend who supposedly ordered me an "at-cost" replacement rim (mine's got a chunk out of the edge and HAS to be replaced) is avoiding me, so i think he's full of shit and i have to go buy it full price (and it's a BBS rim, like $275).
i've been slacking off a bit at school (i really didn't have a choice, it was either slack off in my 100 level english class or slack off in my 200 level psych class, and i'm a psych minor) because of stress,
BUT i got a new job that will help things out. i'm gonna work at a gas station 2 days (like 20ish hours) a week, and get paid at least $10 an hour... so i can sit there and get paid to do my (home)work! :)
my other boss is also really understanding about some scheduling conflicts last month, and has rewritten my yearly performance review so that i might get a raise! she's also letting me work 12 hour fridays, where i do stock (unboxing the shipment that came in that day) during the day and if i feel like it, i can stay in back or come out on the floor at night.
i'm moving up to the storrs campus of uconn next semester, where i can see my boy more (*YAY*!!), and until then i'll be making from $950 to $1400 a month, which should fix my car and buy a computer before i have to leave. and hopefully (cuz my boy has a job at storrs, and he'll help me out ;) ) i'll have a job second semester of this year, cuz i'll only be doing 12 credits.
so there's a little bit of good, and a little bit of bad, but the back pains are subsiding, and i'm in love, so things are looking WAY up!
that was pretty incoherent, i apologize 8-)
 
my life hasn't been easy these few weeks because i get so much pressure from my mum to do well at school. i have my exams in about a month and all my mum wants me to do is study =( we can't even have a proper conversation without her saying something to me about why i'm not studying blah, blah. she even said that she'll kick me out of home if i don't do good at school and go to uni =( it's just so unfair how she's controlling my life *sigh* sometimes i feel that i'm not good enough for her =o(
 
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