Matsuo Munefusa.
Bluelighter
I like this post. I wish you'd post in this forum more often cuz you're perceptive and open and I really like your perspective.
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I like this post. I wish you'd post in this forum more often cuz you're perceptive and open and I really like your perspective.
Why do you assume that he would get with an adult female? Wouldn't the closest approximation be an adult male?
Altered Perception
Bluelighter
^ Yea I guess so, its just that someone said he should try being a father and I went with that, anyways I retract my statement 
It all seems so confusing, I dont think he even has a sexuality in the absence of his attraction to kids but seeing as its boys his attracted to I guess homosexuality would be the closes thing he could try out.
It all seems so confusing, I dont think he even has a sexuality in the absence of his attraction to kids but seeing as its boys his attracted to I guess homosexuality would be the closes thing he could try out.
MynameisnotDeja
Bluelight Crew
I agree. Fuck settling. That sounds about as unhappy as he is lonely now.
I'd rather be alone than settle.
MynameisnotDeja
Bluelight Crew
Because most places, it is VERY against the law to be with a 16 year old boy romantically...
MazDan
Bluelight Crew
To the OP, mate I really feel for you and hopefully having the chance to vent a little in this form has helped in some way.
One of the things I got from your post was that you are dismissing all psychologists with the belief that they would automatically label you.
I am not so sure that thats true. I think if you could find a means of getting an insight into a good psychologist then you may well find he can help you.
Im not so sure that this is something that you have been born with so much as something that you have learned.........probably from an early experience (no I dont necessarily mean a sexual experience) and it may wellk be that its just a matter of re programming your brain.
Im not saying thats definite but I certainly believe there is a fair chance of it.
The brain is an amazing organ that really can get fixated on some concepts and locking out others. In my own life I have learned to reprogram my own thinking in many ways to help try and make me a better person.
I definitely got the impression from your post that you have a deep desire to not only be able to love but to be loved in return. Loneliness is a fucking bitch sometimes and she can bite hard. Christ do I know about that.
Mate, if you need a non judgemental friend then by all means feel free to pm me. Maybe I can even find a way to help you find a therapist who would help rel;ieve so much of the tension and also help you learn not only how to deal with this but also maybe how to retrain your brain so you can move on ands achieve all your dreams.
Good luck man, I loved your honesty and openess and wish you all the best.
One of the things I got from your post was that you are dismissing all psychologists with the belief that they would automatically label you.
I am not so sure that thats true. I think if you could find a means of getting an insight into a good psychologist then you may well find he can help you.
Im not so sure that this is something that you have been born with so much as something that you have learned.........probably from an early experience (no I dont necessarily mean a sexual experience) and it may wellk be that its just a matter of re programming your brain.
Im not saying thats definite but I certainly believe there is a fair chance of it.
The brain is an amazing organ that really can get fixated on some concepts and locking out others. In my own life I have learned to reprogram my own thinking in many ways to help try and make me a better person.
I definitely got the impression from your post that you have a deep desire to not only be able to love but to be loved in return. Loneliness is a fucking bitch sometimes and she can bite hard. Christ do I know about that.
Mate, if you need a non judgemental friend then by all means feel free to pm me. Maybe I can even find a way to help you find a therapist who would help rel;ieve so much of the tension and also help you learn not only how to deal with this but also maybe how to retrain your brain so you can move on ands achieve all your dreams.
Good luck man, I loved your honesty and openess and wish you all the best.
oxyhydro
Bluelighter
Drug therapy can be very helpful. What you have is an addiction, no different than a drug or gambling addiction, and the depression and everything else is a result of the addiction.
There is a drug called naltrexone, it is an opiate blocker officially used for opiate and alcohol addiction but it is much more powerful. I was treated with it and it got me over a heroin addiction and made my depression and social anxiety go away as well, which I had before I ever used drugs. Its not widely used and as a result its true potential is not yet recognized, but I predict in the next 10 years it will be one of the most commonly prescribed drugs.
It might be hard to find a doctor willing to prescribe it for this, but the drug itself is safe and has no recreational value so maybe not. Start with addiction specialist and be honest. If all else fails, make up a painkiller addiction. Its a stretch I know but anything is worth trying before suicide.
I know how you feel in a way, I really do, and its hard to believe that drug therapy can fix a problem like this but your brain is all chemistry.
In addition to this, talk therapy with a non-psychiatrist is also helpful, but you MUST be completely honest with him/her. Many people say therapy doesnt work but 99% of the time its because they werent 100% honest. Psychologist can help you but you need to understand that they work with the smallest details of your mind so they have to know everything otherwise its like expecting someone to solve a puzzle without all the pieces.
On top of all this, don't feel hopeless. You do indeed have a big problem so you cant expect getting over it to be easy or quick or cheap for that matter, but if its so bad that you're thinking about suicide then whats not worth trying?
Another thing is you need to understand just how complicated your mind is and be open to anything. For example, I struggled with my heroin addiciton for 3 years, tired NA, AA, suboxone, therapy but the thing that worked in the end was two months of talk therapy and naltrexone injections and it literally cured my disease of addiction, I no longer have the desire to use which is quite a statement for a former addict! We have the same problem whether you realize it or not and wha tworked for me may not work for you but something will.
Be 100% honest and do everything your doctors tell you exactly, no matter how pointless you think it is. They didn't go through years of advanced education for nothing!
There is a drug called naltrexone, it is an opiate blocker officially used for opiate and alcohol addiction but it is much more powerful. I was treated with it and it got me over a heroin addiction and made my depression and social anxiety go away as well, which I had before I ever used drugs. Its not widely used and as a result its true potential is not yet recognized, but I predict in the next 10 years it will be one of the most commonly prescribed drugs.
It might be hard to find a doctor willing to prescribe it for this, but the drug itself is safe and has no recreational value so maybe not. Start with addiction specialist and be honest. If all else fails, make up a painkiller addiction. Its a stretch I know but anything is worth trying before suicide.
I know how you feel in a way, I really do, and its hard to believe that drug therapy can fix a problem like this but your brain is all chemistry.
In addition to this, talk therapy with a non-psychiatrist is also helpful, but you MUST be completely honest with him/her. Many people say therapy doesnt work but 99% of the time its because they werent 100% honest. Psychologist can help you but you need to understand that they work with the smallest details of your mind so they have to know everything otherwise its like expecting someone to solve a puzzle without all the pieces.
On top of all this, don't feel hopeless. You do indeed have a big problem so you cant expect getting over it to be easy or quick or cheap for that matter, but if its so bad that you're thinking about suicide then whats not worth trying?
Another thing is you need to understand just how complicated your mind is and be open to anything. For example, I struggled with my heroin addiciton for 3 years, tired NA, AA, suboxone, therapy but the thing that worked in the end was two months of talk therapy and naltrexone injections and it literally cured my disease of addiction, I no longer have the desire to use which is quite a statement for a former addict! We have the same problem whether you realize it or not and wha tworked for me may not work for you but something will.
Be 100% honest and do everything your doctors tell you exactly, no matter how pointless you think it is. They didn't go through years of advanced education for nothing!
rant*N*rave
Bluelighter
I have an honors biochemistry degree with a hefty dose of endocrinology study both in school and on my own time. I get how this works. And you don't need to do any real research to know that chemical castration is not the same as hormone replacement therapy, which usually includes estrogens and anti-androgens along with progestogens. Yeah, you might get some breast development and fat redistribution, or even CANCER! (And by the way, breast development/changes in areolae and potential sterility are the ONLY completely irreversible side effects. Having moobs is pretty damn far from "permanent feminization".) But that's why we read warning labels before injecting ourselves with synthetic hormones, or more likely, you know, go to a doctor for that sort of thing so we can find out all the dangers and decided whether its worth it or not.ok explain to me how depo-provera injections (a synthetic progesterone if you are unfamiliar) will not permanently feminize a man? I have studied endocrinology for the past 6 years (both as a lay person and in a graduate academic setting) but yes shame on me for not 'doing the research'
You are also aware that anti-androgen drugs will decrease the length of a man's life? Contribute to heart disease and other cardiovascular diseases, weaken his joints, contribute to depression, etc. So before you and miss Lola play endocrinologist MD...YOU BOTH MIGHT WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE SUGGESTING THIS MAN DO.
Also, medroxyprogesterone (Depo) is NOT indicated for gender transitioning specifically because there is no clinical evidence that it helps the feminization process and it does lead to the negative health effects you mentioned. Also, taking progestogens doesn't guarantee you a set of lactating titties.
What we are suggesting is a viable option to ending the TORTURE in this man's life. We didn't say it was the only solution, or even that he should do it.
And this:
is frankly disgusting. Do you think homosexuality is a "problem" you can work through? The assumption that this guy can "get over" his sexual attractions or find a "solution" to them is far more dubious than any suggestion of a proven medical treatment option, regardless of its side effects. The only real world solution is to fuck people that are or look like children, the former being illegal and ethically wrong (at least in most people's and the OP's own eyes), and the latter being quite difficult to arrange let alone "sell" to society as a reasonable relationship that you could openly live in without people tormenting you almost as badly as if you were doing the former. May-December relationships do not often work out on their own to begin with and present some pretty obnoxious problems in and of themselves, let alone the denigration heaped on by society that the people in those relationships have to deal with.
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Altered Perception
Bluelighter
Huh ? Naltrexone works on supressing love ? Thats news to me.
User Name Here
Bluelight Crew
If I were you I would confide in a respectable therapist. They can't disclose anything shared in a session and can help you identify why you're attracted to young boys and maybe even how to work through and absolve most of these feelings.
I've always believed that sexual attraction to minors is almost always a result of one's childhood experiences. Often times these kinds of people were molested, raised by a domineering parent, abused emotionally and/or physically, shuffled through the foster care system, etc. That's not to say that's the case every time but it is definitely recognized that these things often go hand in hand with one's attraction to minors. A lot of people who experience these feelings stopped developing on a certain emotional level and seem to want to remain at that age. You said you realized you were attracted to boys your own age when you were young and haven't changed since. Did something significant happen in your childhood that may have triggered these feelings? Did something traumatic occur that may have made you want a sort of redo with your childhood?
Definitely get yourself into some therapy so you can at least learn how to cope with these feelings. It's great that you're so honest and open. It sounds like you're not a threat to anyone so don't beat yourself up too much. I wish you the best.
I've always believed that sexual attraction to minors is almost always a result of one's childhood experiences. Often times these kinds of people were molested, raised by a domineering parent, abused emotionally and/or physically, shuffled through the foster care system, etc. That's not to say that's the case every time but it is definitely recognized that these things often go hand in hand with one's attraction to minors. A lot of people who experience these feelings stopped developing on a certain emotional level and seem to want to remain at that age. You said you realized you were attracted to boys your own age when you were young and haven't changed since. Did something significant happen in your childhood that may have triggered these feelings? Did something traumatic occur that may have made you want a sort of redo with your childhood?
Definitely get yourself into some therapy so you can at least learn how to cope with these feelings. It's great that you're so honest and open. It sounds like you're not a threat to anyone so don't beat yourself up too much. I wish you the best.
YouKnowYouWantThis
Greenlighter
LoLz nice advice
Matsuo Munefusa.
Bluelighter
please follow forum guidelines
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Actually most females first menstruate at around 11 to 12, it is entirely natural and common for men to desire girls this young, though obviously not exclusively.
Every man I've known including myself has perved on hot 12 year olds.
HoneyRoastedPeanut
Bluelighter
Well that was a necro-and-a-half, but this is a very interesting topic nonetheless. I'm going to ignore all the arguments about pedophilia, they don't seem all that relevant to Tormented's case in particular.
On the off-chance you are still around, the question I have is this. Say you get what you want; you meet the perfect teenage boy, he loves you back, and somehow it is sanctioned by society. What happens when he grows up and becomes an adult? Does the love disappear, because he doesn't fit your abstract ideal of youth anymore? It sounds like that would be exactly what happens, based on what you've said, and you would have as little control over that as you do your longing in the first place.
This is a problem I think so many people go through, clinging to the ideal of youth that was a fantasy from the start, and part of what leads people to cheat on their partners. You say you have an inner child that needs this connection, but it's a universal cultural phenomenon that one transitions from childhood to adulthood, they are two separate phases of life. We all have that inner child in some spectrum of prominence within us, it's what fuels nostalgia and certain kinds of empathy. It seems like you are wanting to give this hypothetical young boy all the things you wanted as a child but were denied, and still feel lonely because you know that time has passed and will never get those things for yourself. Honestly, it sounds like it has little to do with the feelings of the child in question, which should tell you that this might be a challenge for you to overcome and not something to cling to any longer.
These are all things a competent psychologist would explore with you. All I can say is that bottling the problem up inside your head is only making you more miserable and precluding any possibility of emotional progress or development, which is the core of your problem to begin with. You're afraid of changing into a typical "adult" and losing who you are, but realize that you have control over that and you are still going to be yourself. There is a distinct possibility that once you have talked through your issues with someone who is dedicated to helping you, that you might one day be able to look beyond this singular ideal and find a more realistic, yet no less satisfying connection with a mature adult.
Until you work up the courage to do so, I echo the poster who recommended a sex-drive-curbing drug and focusing your energy elsewhere. Yes, you're not interested in sex, but it's your hormones that are making you feel so shitty about your situation all the time. You seem like a responsible person so try to give yourself to others in socially acceptable ways, and see if that helps alleviate this particular loneliness.
On the off-chance you are still around, the question I have is this. Say you get what you want; you meet the perfect teenage boy, he loves you back, and somehow it is sanctioned by society. What happens when he grows up and becomes an adult? Does the love disappear, because he doesn't fit your abstract ideal of youth anymore? It sounds like that would be exactly what happens, based on what you've said, and you would have as little control over that as you do your longing in the first place.
This is a problem I think so many people go through, clinging to the ideal of youth that was a fantasy from the start, and part of what leads people to cheat on their partners. You say you have an inner child that needs this connection, but it's a universal cultural phenomenon that one transitions from childhood to adulthood, they are two separate phases of life. We all have that inner child in some spectrum of prominence within us, it's what fuels nostalgia and certain kinds of empathy. It seems like you are wanting to give this hypothetical young boy all the things you wanted as a child but were denied, and still feel lonely because you know that time has passed and will never get those things for yourself. Honestly, it sounds like it has little to do with the feelings of the child in question, which should tell you that this might be a challenge for you to overcome and not something to cling to any longer.
These are all things a competent psychologist would explore with you. All I can say is that bottling the problem up inside your head is only making you more miserable and precluding any possibility of emotional progress or development, which is the core of your problem to begin with. You're afraid of changing into a typical "adult" and losing who you are, but realize that you have control over that and you are still going to be yourself. There is a distinct possibility that once you have talked through your issues with someone who is dedicated to helping you, that you might one day be able to look beyond this singular ideal and find a more realistic, yet no less satisfying connection with a mature adult.
Until you work up the courage to do so, I echo the poster who recommended a sex-drive-curbing drug and focusing your energy elsewhere. Yes, you're not interested in sex, but it's your hormones that are making you feel so shitty about your situation all the time. You seem like a responsible person so try to give yourself to others in socially acceptable ways, and see if that helps alleviate this particular loneliness.
that age gap is a little narrow. "most girls" begin puberty between 11 and 14, though they can start much earlier (read: the 5-year old Peruvian mother). i find it more than a little disturbing you've "perved" on a grade-schooler. just because she's menstruating or developing does not make her fapping material for adult men: she's a fucking child if not in body then certainly in mind.
GenericMind
Bluelighter
Regardless of how biologically natural it is for men to be attractive to women in their fertile prime(read: as soon as they're fertile) it's not socially natural in most cultures. It's a basic and animalistic impulse that can and should be suppressed by our higher level thinking.
It's also biologically natural for us to want to smash in the heads of other men we see as competitors and steal all their resources, but we don't go around doing that do we? And even if we could, I doubt most of us would. That's because we know it's wrong.
It's also biologically natural for us to want to smash in the heads of other men we see as competitors and steal all their resources, but we don't go around doing that do we? And even if we could, I doubt most of us would. That's because we know it's wrong.
Shrooms00087
Bluelighter
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- Aug 4, 2008
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No it's not natural for humans to be uncooperative and yes we still plunder (through unnatural motives which incent our 'way of life').
If you're older than 18 don't screw minors. Attraction is not compulsion.
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