Thanks
... Unfortunately last night I couldn't sleep again. And today was so finished that I ended up taking Tapentadol (only 100 mg rectal) again 
... Hope I can sleep at once before I redose... I hardly even got high, just had some energy to get things done without the permanent cold sweating... Aka felt like a decent human for a change 
... Honestly I thought I could at least hold out for a single week 
... 
Well, you must carry it well enough, you don't strike me as a drunk. So at least you got that going for youI had 300mg of pregabalin about 5 hours hours ago and now I'm going to vape some kief and camomile and see if that gets me to sleep.
I've been anxious all day probably because I had six ciders last night and I also skipped my elvanse this morning because I overslept and didn't want to take it too late in the day.
I definitely need to lay off the booze it doesn't do me any good.
Well anyway, sleep well lovelies
I'm not really. I used to drink a lot from my teens until my late 20s but then I stopped completely for 3 years and since then I've only drunk once or twice a month if that. I've just been on it a bit more recently because it's been a crazy few months and I've been having trouble sleeping, but still we're only talking 3-4 tins a few times a week and I'm planning on nipping that in the bud this week.
I cleaned up my old computer and reinstalled the OS to pass it on to my stepdad as he needs an upgrade and I'm looking to build myself a new one next year. I love tinkering with computers.
also smoked a joint with tabacco and hash
They sure can be symptoms of benzo withdrawal and I'd imagine pregabalin withdrawal too. To me benzo withdrawal felt a lot like opiate withdrawal, with a lot more insomnia.
Just to add on that at least ime (and also according to official info) dependence on benzos can develop a lot faster than with pregabalin (in therapeutic doses).
Ughhh it’s 03:04 here, greatly underestimated the amount of speed still in my system so no way I’m sleeping.
The ketamine may be keeping you awake too.Ughhh it’s 03:04 here, greatly underestimated the amount of speed still in my system so no way I’m sleeping.
Canceling my driving lesson for tomorrow and just did a small line of K + my third melatonin pill, because fuck this shit, I may as well embrace the disfunctionality of this week at this point
Early good morning I suppose, hope y’all will have a nice weekend
I hadn’t done the ket until after 3 a.m. but yess, that can definitely be the case, for me it depends. If I have music playing, then I get the ‘typical k-hole experience’ I suppose, where I’m technically awake, but I don’t feel like I am because the music creates an entire trip inside my head.
I didn't hole in a while since the last few times all felt very similar and empty, wondering wtf I'm doing taking drugs and getting all confusedI hadn’t done the ket until after 3 a.m. but yess, that can definitely be the case, for me it depends. If I have music playing, then I get the ‘typical k-hole experience’ I suppose, where I’m technically awake, but I don’t feel like I am because the music creates an entire trip inside my head.
Without music ketamine just hits me like static, maybe a bit more floaty feeling compared to anesthetics used for surgeries nowadays, kinda like falling asleep drunk or really stoned where you feel like your constantly being spun in circles. In that case I usually fall asleep pretty fast.
I do find it fascinating why I’m so sensitive to insomnia caused by speed. I can sleep on literally any other upper/stimulant: caffeine, MDMA, 3-mmc, 2-mmc, every type of ADHD medication (orally taken anyway), but with speed I can usually only sleep 12 hours after I last snorted any, which is why I thought using until 12 was fine, because usually if I stop at 12 in the afternoon, I can sleep again around 00:00. Except yesterday I was doing lines every break we got during the uni lectures, so I used quite a bit more than my usual amount, not thinking about the fact that higher doses obviously stack up and extend the half life, thus causing longer lasting insomnia.
That’s my theory anyway. I also think tolerance builds quicker for the mental aspects such as the euphoria compared to the physical symptoms, and only during the K trip did I actually realize I haven’t been sober from stims in a good while, so I’ve most definitely been building a tolerance.
Actually had a pretty heavy K-hole, never experienced that weirdly therapeutic experience before. I get why ketamine has become so popular in depression treatment. Has me thinking of trying to stay cali sober for at least a week or two. Might make a combination trip report of my most memorable K-hole experiences so far, ketamine has really suprised me with it’s more psychedelic aspects and it has me unable to understand why so many people my age use it as a club drug, while fearing the K-hole experience, when for me that’s my main reason for using K. Would be interesting to hear people’s different experiences of ketamine trips & experiences I think
. In the beginning it was fascinating, also a challenge to come out hush hush and function again... But I realized that higher doses, esp. when shooting them, always gave me a bad headache and made me feel really poisoned. So I keep it down. Shooting K is but a very rare act of despair now. I prefer the lower doses, cause they still hit fast enough rectal and I get a still functional drunk feeling that wears off quickly enough when I let it. Never used it in a club cause I didn't go out in over a year 
