๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ Social ๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ What Was YOUR Nightly Fix? v. Smoking the Midnight Oil

A fellow combat sports fan,

I like Muay Thai and kickboxing more but definitely enjoy mma too

U actually pay for ufc or ๐Ÿดโ€โ˜ ๏ธ?
Part of my monthly digital tv (provider), get to see all events including PPV's. And other sport etc. All inclusive. Around $61.50 a month, which I don't pay for, but am the one streaming device allowed. So one household using satellite and me streaming.

Sweet huh?
 
Lol, said "Good Night" over an hour ago, guess that's the zopiclone reminding me I don't have to work until Tuesday, Easter and all that, so why not take an evening or two for myself for a change.

Will get some rest when the time is perfect.

Still feel pretty sober, just nicely chilled.
 
So far tonight

Coffees - 8
Cans of Coke Zero - 6
Cigarettes - 22
Sertraline (Zoloft) 200mg
Morphine (orally) 140mg
Morphine (plugged) 60mg
Gabapentin (Neurontin) 2400mg
Cyclizine (Marezine) 250mg
Metoclopramide 20mg
Thorazine 25mg
Bisoprolol 2.5mg
Naproxen 250mg
Valproate (Depakote) 1000mg
Vitamin B Complex
Co-Enzyme Q10
Calcium/Vitamin D
Omega 3, 6, 9
 
going to bed for a few hours now, maybe 4 or 5.

Was waiting to capture this from my balcony.

Haven't taken anything more than posted earlier.


SORRY FOR THE BLURRY FIRST PIC

06:38am



07:07am



07:20am


Vampire much? :p
 
Might sound weird, but eat some ice cream, the smoother the better (stir it up in a bowl till it is "soft serve" texture),

Surely it can't do any harm.

Not joking BTW. ๐Ÿ˜‡
I actually think thereโ€™s something to this, i always eat ice cream on a comedown and it helps, not like a benzo but it helps.

Also i ended up being ok, havent slept, didnt get any benzos, just went thru my day a lil raw, iโ€™ll be fine to get some sleep i think tho
 
I actually think thereโ€™s something to this, i always eat ice cream on a comedown and it helps, not like a benzo but it helps.
Sometimes when I really can't sleep I'll get up and get a bowl of cereal or noodles or whatever that'll help knock me out. I think it must be the insulin or something.

Actually this is exactly what I did last night and I was crashed out like an hour after posting.
 
O
Strip of what?
Oh sorry, was talking about the temazepam. I can get 20mg aswell but they put me too much of a deep dead sleep. And I want to be able to wake up from the smallest noise. This is S.A

How you keeping BTW and are you back on methadone or off after what happened last time from what I read if I remember correctly
 
O

Oh sorry, was talking about the temazepam. I can get 20mg aswell but they put me too much of a deep dead sleep. And I want to be able to wake up from the smallest noise. This is S.A

How you keeping BTW and are you back on methadone or off after what happened last time from what I read if I remember correctly
No. Iโ€™ve been using it like 1x per week with few 2 week breaks.

Whe. Use 1x I might dose twice in a 12 hour period . About 20mg


I used like 5 or 6 days ago last time and wasnโ€™t feeling any withdrawals. I need to stop tho Iโ€™m fucking up.

A couple of the uses were because of bad pain flares tho but not all. So some were justified. The others were me just being a fuck up and playing whith fire.

I canโ€™t believe Iโ€™m being this stupid to potentially put myself back into another withdrawal again and go through any level of that hell again
 
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No. Iโ€™ve been using it like 1x per week with few 2 week breaks.

Whe. Use 1x I might dose twice in a 12 hour period . About 20mg


I used like 5 or 6 days ago last time and wasnโ€™t feeling any withdrawals. I need to stop tho Iโ€™m fucking up.

A couple of the uses were because of bad pain flares tho but not all. So some were justified. The others were me just being a fuck up and playing whith fire.

I canโ€™t believe Iโ€™m being this stupid to potentially put myself back into another withdrawal again and go through any level of that hell again
I know how you feel. I been playing the same old song and dance with opiods, using to abusing to getting clean only to do it all over again.

It's a hard fight but just keep telling yourself that you have done it once. So you know you can do it again and how and what you in for.

Knowing how the wds are gonna be makes a world of difference then not knowing and that way I think many people don't want to even try get of it cause they scared of the wds.

But then there is the camp that knows and don't want to go through it again vause they know the pain


But this is where it will show what kind man you are. You either fight or give in.

Like for me who has been on maintenance dosages of bupre or methadone for the last few years, only used the maintenance dose to get through the week and do no drugs but come weekend I know I'm gonna and Monday I'm back on maintenance meds. But I have realized myself that doing this is just fucking me up more.

So for me who hasn't touched any other opiods and just kept being on my maintenance dose of methadone and no more bingeing on weekend. I feel like I have progressed a lot and now it just lowering my dosages and prepare for the end or new beginning, yeah new beginning is a more positive way to think about it and motivational. You know fight gonna be hard but you also know how good it feels to wake and not be in some form of wd from whatever.

The only thing is the benzo. As I know dropping that is gonna be hard especially after.

Sorry for the rambling and off topic.

But good to have this place and family.
So I know or believe the future I won't be alone when the time comes
 
So after getting around 8 hours total sleep time from 9am - 3pm and again from 4pm-6pm, I finished the rest of a nice sized joint left over from earlier - ( I must have only had three drags before going to bed ).
I started feeling more "human" again.

I took my Vyvanse (50mg) around 6:30pm (Just FYI, this is planned as I have the whole long weekend basically to myself).

However, I have to admire how well this medication works at the prescribed dose, and how much better it works when the time I have is mine (not at work), this psychological/physical situation has such an impact on my mindset even though the physical effects are basically the same, if you had to break it down this way ( ie work vs home ).

So tonight I had breakfast at 6pm :ROFLMAO: and am definitely a night person, because I am in such a good mood.

Shit, reminds me, I need to take my Aspavor (40mg) - to be taken around dinner time.

Glad I posted this, I would have forgotten.

Got about 4 grams of Monster Skittlez left and am just settling in for a great evening.

Hope you all have one too.
 
20mg Mianserin
10mg Codeine lol
400mg Ibuprofen
750mg Carbocisteine
10ml Adco-linctopent = (Bromhexine Hydrochloride: 4mg/5ml + Orciprenaline Sulphate: 5mg/5ml)

+-1.5g Zkittlez (lol I think I have spelt it differently each time I type it.
Cigarettes (Winston Purple)

Not much recreational stuff here. except for the Zkittlez - but I am content and don't want to spoil the clarity.
 
Last nights:
Lots of kratom and a matcha
A cart
Some spliffs
100mcg clonidine
250mg primidone
Unmeasured cap of chloral hydrate
50 mg doxylamine
Some supplements
Resulted in a wonderful 16 hour coma
Might repeat tonight minus the clonidine
 
The usual suspects...

Added 2mg Alprazolam a few minutes ago.

A treat I give myself when the time is right.

Going to skip the zopiclone as it isn't necessary right now, especially as the Alpraz is just kicking in ................ like a "mule". :p

I am glad I spaced my doses out on this medication (I am talking days if not weeks between a dose), as this feeling I am getting right now is really "smooth" and clean, yet kinda feels mischievous too.
I Luv it.


Wanting to enjoy this, so ending this post. not saying good night just yet.

โค๏ธ

****UPDATE**** 70 minutes later..... The alprazolam's initial "kick" has smoothed out and the sedating effects are slowly wearing off leaving me basking in the afterglow of "staring into space" and enjoying the absence of thoughts and worries or trying to think of ways to solve anything.

All I want to do is watch an episode of something (probably Bosch Legacy Season 3 Ep 10) and wind down after what was actually a very pleasant day and night.


Night All
 
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Evening blueworld

Monday survived

10mg methadone
10mg diazepam
500mg Anti biotics
Vaped a few pulls GG4
30mg thc gummies (3x10mg)
20mg thc lolly ( 2nd last )
Cough syrup mix

Coffee and few bong hits. Keeping the rest of the lolly for itchy throat, just in case
 
weed wise, it is finished.
so I made a "kief" joint (probably struggle with the airflow, but will give it a bash).

Will update on "nightlies" l8r, got work tomorrow anyway, so hope to get a small buzz going.

:LOL:


 
weed wise, it is finished.
so I made a "kief" joint (probably struggle with the airflow, but will give it a bash).

Will update on "nightlies" l8r, got work tomorrow anyway, so hope to get a small buzz going.

:LOL:


I am an idiot.

Was starting to get that "ultra mini - tampon" to burn nicely until.........................

the contents "shot out" like a cannon ball. :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO: - and the irony is I was trying to prevent that from happening.

Oh well, if you don't laugh at yourself sometimes, you might as well cry.

And I am laughing.

So embarrassing..

Managed to "salvage" some scrapings from the jar and a bit of "dust" from a few containers to make another small one.

It worked nicely, hence this post.


***EDIT***
1 hour later


20mg Mianserin
15mg Zopiclone
Only 3 cigs left until tomorrow, so...

Good night. AND don't fight.

โค๏ธ
 
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