🌟🌟 Social 🌟🌟 What Was YOUR Nightly Fix? v. Smoking the Midnight Oil

[SuperPsych]

I feel fortunate to have at least not experienced this. I'll use benzos for 2-3 days in a row max, typically in very low doses, and then take a few weeks off. Last night though I miscalculated and ate 21mg of etizolam, after vaping some too in a box mod and I also spilled some of the tincture on my fingers/the amber vials, so I licked them clean. I was trapzing around like a cartoonishly drunk hobo from an old timey cartoon.

As long as you avoid any physical dependency by taking a few weeks off then I imagine you'll be able to avoid the kindling effect. Sounds like you have it down to a science. As long as you're not using insanely long half-life benzos for those 2-3 days but it sounds like you're mainly using etizolam.

I've been craving a benzo. It's been a long time. This bromonordiazepam is calling my name but I don't know when it'll ever be possible with me working 5 days a week. I'll probably at least wait until I'm off of suboxone. I can easily see myself going through my suboxone in a benzo'd out attempt at catching an opioid buzz. I kind miss the days of youth and drug filled unemployment. Responsibilities are a blessing and a curse.

Been using the Soma too much. Been using them every night. They nod me out if I dose right. I got home today at 4pm and promptly took 500mg which is my sign that it's getting out of hand. I've always been good about saving them until right before bed. I also have a lot of responsibility. I have to get a eulogy written for my grandfather in the next 9 days, all while working every day. I'm hoping that the 3, 4 MDPCP arrives soon and that I can find a day off and get the eulogy knocked out through a bit of dissociative induced mania.

As for my nightly fix, since waking up from my nap around 6pm:
700mg Gabapentin total
2mg Buprenorphine
500mg Carisoprodol
Vaped Nicotine
50mg Hydroxyzine
20mg Omeprazole

Lots of sugar. Not sure if its the Gabapentin, Buprenorphine or mirtazapine; but I have had a crazy sweet tooth lately. I've been living basically off of carbs. Lots of Cereal, Soda, Peanut Butter and Jelly and Ice Cream. Not much else. I've gained almost 10 pounds. My guess its a mix of the meds more so than one or the other. Opioids always gave me a sweet tooth. Gabapentin has caused me munchies though usually in higher doses and mirtazapine gives me insane munchies, especially for sweets. Probably o't hel'm trt my tolerance for THC up so that I can hopefully start to enjoy it again.

Gonna go on a walk and smoke a cigarette, come home and take more carisoprodol. Once that kicks in I'll probably take a dab of some reclaim and swallow 3.75mg of Mirtazapine. Trying to do a quick taper of the mirtazapine so that I can indulge in a psychedelic. I'm going to want to do that once the 3, 4 MDPCP arrives. After my trip I'll begin taking the mirtazapine again because it has been helping. That or I can try switching to Buproprion so ling as its safe with Buprenorphine

 

[Mushoku_Sensei]

I microdosed 2cb the night before last night - the first time I ever got this. Less than 5 mg boofed for less than 5 minutes...
Had a weird physical come up with slight nausea and headache.
First felt like crying then I was told how it would being back the wonder of a child, make people share stuff they usually don't, feel love etc -
Result: I hated myself, my life and everything, including all of yesterday - great new mantra

So last night I went for a higher dose to see whether I could control this substance or whether it was gonna make me embarrass myself. I have no idea how much it was cause I just washed the two baggies it came in since there was a lot sticking on the plastic that I couldn't remove.
Tasted awful and took hours to be felt. Had some Tapentadol left in my system,, nothing else.
Then I definitely felt the stimulant in this. And I hate stims. Made me run in circles, feeling like I should be doing something (else, not the boring thing I was doing) - so really uncomfortable as with cocaine in my memory.
After a while some visuals were creeping in, patterns and sparkles, not too intrusive. It also came in waves and at the end, despite the jaw grinding it felt like a nice trip.
So I take it I can control this and won't go hug strangers or that type of bs.
Just the stim part is an issue, but well. Guess I won't do this all that often. At least I could sleep without any problems.

 

[Esperighanto]

Just the stim part is an issue, but well. Guess I won't do this all that often. At least I could sleep without any problems.

2C-B is inherently quite stimulating in my opinion, I use it as a microdose for energy in the 4-8mg range typically. I've never had the result of "I hated myself, my life and everything, nicluding all of yesterday" results from anything other than MDMA and ketamine honestly. Adding 2C-B in though always levels me out, I wonder why these hit peoeple differently. Most times that I use 2C-B is in the 35-60mg range tbh, but I also just tend to enjoy tripping hard. I also am, by default, an incredibly hardheaded psychedelic user and sleepy ass mfer, so stimulating psychedelics are great for me personally.

I've been craving a benzo. It's been a long time. This bromonordiazepam is calling my name but I don't know when it'll ever be possible with me working 5 days a week. I'll probably at least wait until I'm off of suboxone. I can easily see myself going through my suboxone in a benzo'd out attempt at catching an opioid buzz. I kind miss the days of youth and drug filled unemployment. Responsibilities are a blessing and a curse.

The subtlety of BND (how I often personally abbreviate bromonordiazepam) is so insane, that at one point I was taking 50mg weekly and the only comments from people around me were that they felt I had someone overcome my depression, they were shocked at how much detail-to-attention I was putting in at work, and I was getting ahead on chores, working out, etc., so for me it was a solid move. Right now I'm not using it in case I nail a job that involves driving, where they'll test me for benzos. Etizolam leaves the system in 3-5 days, so I'm just sticking with that for now. I'm kind of young (26) and unemployed right now and it's driving me absolutely fucking nuts, I hate being unemployed, and drug use has only ever helped my work capacities, just my personal stance on it.

Been using the Soma too much. Been using them every night. They nod me out if I dose right. I got home today at 4pm and promptly took 500mg which is my sign that it's getting out of hand. I've always been good about saving them until right before bed. I also have a lot of responsibility. I have to get a eulogy written for my grandfather in the next 9 days, all while working every day. I'm hoping that the 3, 4 MDPCP arrives soon and that I can find a day off and get the eulogy knocked out through a bit of dissociative induced mania.

In my life, I treat Soma the same way I treat Gabapentin. I'm scripted neither, so whenever I come across a bag of it, I just eat that shit like candy until it's all gone. I don't know if it's wise, but that's fine, it doesn't seem to be problematic yet, at least.

On the topic of the thread, last night I went a little crazy with the spice, I probably smoked 12-15 bowls of MDMB-4en-PINACA infused damiana out of a huge bong, and also quite a bit in vape juice. It had me manically bouncing around my bedroom listening to music, then listening to a podcast about UFOs and feeling like I was actually sitting at the table with the hosts listening directly to them. I also ate a quarter gram of THC-O, ate a small but (ignorantly) eyeballed dose of etizolam, and oddly, the night before this, I caught what I suspect was a dead or SEVERELY underdosed tab of DOB, as a single tab didn't even induce threshold effects on no tolerance as far as I'm aware.

 

[Mushoku_Sensei]

2C-B is inherently quite stimulating in my opinion,

I agree. I didn't expect feeling that pushed. Mph didn't do that to me, just kept me awake when I needed to, no high or anything, just a useful tool.

I use it as a microdose for energy in the 4-8mg range typically.

Interesting. Might try that once when sleep deprivation asks it's tribute once again...

I've never had the result of "I hated myself, my life and everything, nicluding all of yesterday" results from anything other than MDMA and ketamine honestly.

From MDMA!? That fits with why I still refuse even trying it . K never did anything alike, but some sort of emotional breakdown happened once.
The point that triggered the upper reaction was being told all the "great" empathic properties of 2cb like opening up and sharing, feeling love etc. Which I never wanted, quite the opposite. If I ever were to just approach a stranger and share personal stuff I'd probably hate myself for that forever . I spent my last crypto on this instead of H or diazepam and it made me regret that and really pissed me off badly.
So I was in some sort of fight mode and wanted to see who's in control, the substance or me. That's all I wanted, no euphoria or anything else. I didn't gaf about the dose and got my scolding for that directly on it . Still then it's mission completed and I was fine. Mentally clear actually.
I chose 2cb because it's a short lasting psych, since I don't get much private time and I'm generally too sleep deprived to endure an 8 hour trip at night.

Adding 2C-B in though always levels me out, I wonder why these hit peoeple differently.

My take is that I'm chronically overstimulated due to an overactive sympathic nervous system. I lose weight with stress easily, lose my temper all the time and I can't really tolerate being pushed more.

 

[Cream Gravy?]

I was moving soon, they came in something like 6 weeks late and I had I think it was, 18 days? 20 days? Something like that, to get through them all, nobody I knew would want them and I wasn't trying to move with them. I believe I finished the soma a day or two before leaving, so it must've been more like 16-18 days actually, now that I think about it.

Christ man, I wish you were my friend then. I'd have taken the whole lot lol

 

[Esperighanto]

Christ man, I wish you were my friend then. I'd have taken the whole lot lol

I'm super careful about giving even close friends drugs. For example, I have a handful of friends who bug the fuck out with cannabis, but not LSD. I've got friends who absolutely cannot be trusted with amphetamine, methamphetamine, GHB, or benzodiazepines. Soma's safety profile I was still feeling out at that time, so I didn't want to risk somebody overdosing over something I gave them, if that makes sense. The things that I'm comfortable giving to friends are mushrooms, 2C-B, LSD, DMT, sometimes a small amount (<10) doses of benzos or other sedatives as long as I've verified that they aren't the problematic types with it. I've given out amphetamine once, and it turned out that the insufflation tray it was on ended up cross-contaminating it with 3-HO-PCP without my knowledge. I still feel terrible about it, but thankfully the person who used it was profoundly hardheaded towards psychoactives and ended up accidentally having a positive and profound experience with it, I'm lucky things ended up good there. I've also distributed more cannabis/altnoids than I could possibly comprehend, but Soma, GHB, methamphetamine, NBXX's, and PCP I'm super cagey on giving to people just because it scares me that a mistake might happen, you know?

 

[Esperighanto]

From MDMA!? That fits with why I still refuse even trying it . K never did anything alike, but some sort of emotional breakdown happened once.
The point that triggered the upper reaction was being told all the "great" empathic properties of 2cb like opening up and sharing, feeling love etc. Which I never wanted, quite the opposite. If I ever were to just approach a stranger and share personal stuff I'd probably hate myself for that forever . I spent my last crypto on this instead of H or diazepam and it made me regret that and really pissed me off badly.
So I was in some sort of fight mode and wanted to see who's in control, the substance or me. That's all I wanted, no euphoria or anything else. I didn't gaf about the dose and got my scolding for that directly on it . Still then it's mission completed and I was fine. Mentally clear actually.
I chose 2cb because it's a short lasting psych, since I don't get much private time and I'm generally too sleep deprived to endure an 8 hour trip at night.

Yeah, the MDMA experience was one where I realized how much I loved and cared about those around me, and my mental health at the time had me feeling like such a burden that I was pretty sure that my best move was suicide, but I knew that I was insanely intoxicated (something like 300mg of MDMA and 100mg of MDA orally, and about 60-65mg of 2C-B insufflated) so I did an enourmous amount of ketamine to calm down, and then the next day reflected on it and went "Wow, that was an insane delusion, I need to beware huge molly doses in the future".

In my opinion 2C-B does have fantastic empathogenic effects, I personally do consider it an empathogen, alongside 25B-NBOH, 25C-NBOMe, and 5-MeO-DiPT, other psychedelics that are also empathogens imo from having used each one quite a few times at a minimum. Hell, I've probably used 2C-B somewhere in the high hundreds of times, if not over a thousand at this point. 2C-B Can certainly catalyze opening up and sharing and feelings of love and connection, but why do you think that you would approach a stranger for it? This isn't some idiocy-inducing compound, the empathogenic effects exist to bring you closer to those you already love, and to forge stronger, more meaningful connections imo. I've always used 2C-B with my fiance, the first night we came across it I still look back at fondly. Meeting an old friend about an hour to an hour and a half straight north into the woods from where we lived at the time, driving back through rural Central Maine with two gel caps of 2C-B and the instructions of "empty these out and sniff it in tiny bumps". Each cap had, I believe 30-35mg in it. This friend I got it from routinely doses 150-200mg and just works out aggressively, it's fascinating.

What about 2C-B do you not enjoy, the stimulating effects? The empathogenic effects come from using it either with, or around people you already care for. Friends, partners, family members, etc., but the stimulation rounds out easily with a very small amount of ketamine, a benzodiazepine (which oddly does not dull 2C-B in my experience like it will other psychedelics), or other sedatives such as tizanidine, soma, etc.

If you have any question on trying to get a good experience out of it, feel free to ask away. I've spent more time with it than any other drug than cannabis. It sounds like you just don't enjoy the stimulation, and I know I this sounds strange, but for me the stimulation stops ~20mg and up. Below that it's like 5-MeO-DiPT, a mostly non-visual, slightly empathogenic stimulant. Above maybe 18-20mg though, it's absolutely a psychedelic on par with mescaline imo, they actually feel shockingly similar once you're in the thick of it.

Also, choosing 2C-B for it being short lasting is a wild decision in my opinion, I've had doses sometimes only be 4-6 hours, but I've had them easily reach 10-12 too if I'm eating it after having eaten a large amount of food to begin with. The nausea on the come-up is absolutely brutal, and insufflating it is more punishing than any other drug I've ever even come across, maybe allylescaline is a close second I guess. In the future, if you want short-lasting, go for mushrooms or a 4-substituted tryptamine, they'll still make you wicked nauseous on the comeup but they're guaranteed not to exceed ~6 hours in my experience.

 

[Mushoku_Sensei]

why do you think that you would approach a stranger for it? This isn't some idiocy-inducing compound,

That's exactly what I had to prove to myself after hearing all those stories. It absolutely sounded like an idiocy inducing compound!

the empathogenic effects exist to bring you closer to those you already love, and to forge stronger, more meaningful connections imo.

I don't know about the purpose of their existence, really. If they can be used this way then that's fine, but I'm not interested in a drug doing that. I can't quite put my finger on it but it has something to do with me not wanting any chemical to influence my interactions/relationships with other people. It feels like: "This is private territory - you stay the hell out!"

What about 2C-B do you not enjoy, the stimulating effects? The empathogenic effects come from using it either with, or around people you already care for. Friends, partners, family members, etc.,

There is no way I'm going to use it around other people irl. Aside maybe in tiny doses that I can easily hide. No one I know closely uses drugs afaik or knows that I do. So the empathogenic effects don't really concern me, I won't use them.

but the stimulation rounds out easily with a very small amount of ketamine, a benzodiazepine (which oddly does not dull 2C-B in my experience like it will other psychedelics), or other sedatives such as tizanidine, soma, etc.

Can't get my hands on the other sedatives but I will try K/benzos, thanks for the info!

If you have any question on trying to get a good experience out of it, feel free to ask away. I've spent more time with it than any other drug than cannabis. It sounds like you just don't enjoy the stimulation, and I know I this sounds strange, but for me the stimulation stops ~20mg and up. Below that it's like 5-MeO-DiPT, a mostly non-visual, slightly empathogenic stimulant. Above maybe 18-20mg though, it's absolutely a psychedelic on par with mescaline imo, they actually feel shockingly similar once you're in the thick of it.

That's good to know as well and it does make sense. I only felt the stimulation for a while at the beginning, then it was gone at some point and became more relaxed.

Also, choosing 2C-B for it being short lasting is a wild decision in my opinion, I've had doses sometimes only be 4-6 hours, but I've had them easily reach 10-12 too if I'm eating it after having eaten a large amount of food to begin with.

When I looked it up it said 2-4 hours insufflated and 3-5 rectal. That's why.

The nausea on the come-up is absolutely brutal,

For me it was nothing compared to LSA or even shrooms, actually.

. In the future, if you want short-lasting, go for mushrooms or a 4-substituted tryptamine, they'll still make you wicked nauseous on the comeup but they're guaranteed not to exceed ~6 hours in my experience.

Even shrooms are lasting too long for me . But like with 2cb I can just go to sleep with them easily. I guess I was baited by the sheer fame of it and curious to try.
I honestly don't think I will try any more new substances now. I just don't have the resources anymore... Unlike you I'm old and tired

 

[Esperighanto]

Tonight/this evening, 7g of kratom, some MDMB-4en-PINACA, half a button of Lophophora diffusa, 300mg of Bupropion, 400mg of caffeine, and I'd skipped out on an etizolam drink I was going to put down, because I fear it may negate the peyote microdose.

 

[Cream Gravy?]

And people trying to blame the dealer for their own harsh realities during psychedelic experiences has led me to completely stop dealing, for many reasons really but mostly that. People want to blame a person for some reason rather than dealing with the fact that they have demons just like the rest of us do.

 

[Esperighanto]

And people trying to blame the dealer for their own harsh realities during psychedelic experiences has led me to completely stop dealing, for many reasons really but mostly that. People want to blame a person for some reason rather than dealing with the fact that they have demons just like the rest of us do.

Yeah, growing up I was around trafficking quite a bit so I never exchange drugs for goods or services, I just give them to people I think could benefit from them. I also guide people with their first psychedelic sessions, it seems to help a lot.

 

[SuperPsych]

The subtlety of BND (how I often personally abbreviate bromonordiazepam) is so insane, that at one point I was taking 50mg weekly and the only comments from people around me were that they felt I had someone overcome my depression, they were shocked at how much detail-to-attention I was putting in at work, and I was getting ahead on chores, working out, etc., so for me it was a solid move. Right now I'm not using it in case I nail a job that involves driving, where they'll test me for benzos. Etizolam leaves the system in 3-5 days, so I'm just sticking with that for now. I'm kind of young (26) and unemployed right now and it's driving me absolutely fucking nuts, I hate being unemployed, and drug use has only ever helped my work capacities, just my personal stance on it.

In my life, I treat Soma the same way I treat Gabapentin. I'm scripted neither, so whenever I come across a bag of it, I just eat that shit like candy until it's all gone. I don't know if it's wise, but that's fine, it doesn't seem to be problematic yet, at least.

That makes me feel a little bit better about the bromonordiazepam. I work an easy job where I could probably get away with it, just am afraid to sleep thru my alarms as that's how I lost my last job.

That's typically how I use Soma too. I just never had this much before so it's going on a little bit longer than I had planned.

At work today I was getting hit with wave after wave of self-hate and depression. Been tapering my mirtazapine and have been taking a low dose. I was hoping to trip soon which is why I've been tapering but maybe that's unwise. The mirtazapine has been really helping, now that I can see the contrast between me medicated on it and me on a miniscule dose.

Was hoping that my wonk would be here so I could recklessly do dissociatives into the night. It didnt arrive which is probably for the best as I have work tomorrow. I REALLY hope that it arrives tomorrow since it's my friday and I only have one day off before getting back to work. I want to make the most of it.

Anyways, that fell through and I was depressed all damn day so I promptly swallowed 625mg Carisoprodol, 300mg Gabapentin, 20mg Omeprazole, and 5g of Kratom. I'm not expecting to feel much from the kratom due to my suboxone, but I figure that some of the non-opioid alkaloids might do something to ease the depression.

Gonna veg out in bed and watch Shin-Chan now

 

[Mushoku_Sensei]

And people trying to blame the dealer for their own harsh realities during psychedelic experiences has led me to completely stop dealing, for many reasons really but mostly that. People want to blame a person for some reason rather than dealing with the fact that they have demons just like the rest of us do.

Ik you didn't write this to me but still...
I don't blame anyone. Even gave a five star review because I got what I ordered.
I'm well aware that my issues are mine alone - just wanted to say that.

On topic: 15 mg 2cb orally, on a sound base of 40 mg oxy, half of that snorted to smooth out my below terrible mood (and that worked before I dosed the 2cb, cause I want to get a feeling for the dose)

 

[Mushoku_Sensei]

And since I didn't feel much I snorted another 17 mg. Outch. That hurt. Instant colors though. And questioning my sanity once again

 

[SuperPsych]

From MDMA!? That fits with why I still refuse even trying it . K never did anything alike, but some sort of emotional breakdown happened once.
The point that triggered the upper reaction was being told all the "great" empathic properties of 2cb like opening up and sharing, feeling love etc. Which I never wanted, quite the opposite. If I ever were to just approach a stranger and share personal stuff I'd probably hate myself for that forever . I spent my last crypto on this instead of H or diazepam and it made me regret that and really pissed me off badly.

I wouldn't "refuse" to try MDMA. It's an insanely valuable drug. It just has to be taken at the proper set and setting. My ideal set and setting for MDMA is at home with 1 or 2 close friends. People who you trust. I have also had valuable solo MDMA experiences. It is a very fun club drug but can lead to over sharing details about your life but in a proper environment, that urge to share is insanely therapeutic. I've seen it save someones life before.

Yeah, the MDMA experience was one where I realized how much I loved and cared about those around me, and my mental health at the time had me feeling like such a burden that I was pretty sure that my best move was suicide, but I knew that I was insanely intoxicated (something like 300mg of MDMA and 100mg of MDA orally, and about 60-65mg of 2C-B insufflated) so I did an enourmous amount of ketamine to calm down, and then the next day reflected on it and went "Wow, that was an insane delusion, I need to beware huge molly doses in the future".

My most serious suicide attempt in my life was while I was on 5-MAPB. I had been experiencing Schizophreniform due to pyrovalerones, paranoia surrounding my roomates judging me for my sexuality (I was struggling with my homosexuality and hadn't come out yet). Just felt like a freak and that no one would love me. Serotonin plays a role in fear so a flood of it means no fear. I gummed a fingerful of Diclazepam, swallowed a bottle wellbutrin and shot up 100mg of morphine. Luckily I survived cuz I would have died over stupid delusions that people wouldn't love me because I was gay. Turns out I am gay and they do all still love me. Drugs are wild

As for my nightly fix:
1mg Buprenorphine
40mg 3,4-MDPCP insufflated

I probably shouldn't have done the 3,4-MDPCP tonight but I said fuck it. I've been stressed over writing my grandfathers eulogy that I'm going to read at his funeral in a week. I have tomorrow off of work but have to go to dinner with my dad and siblings to celebrate my birthday, fathers day, and my brother in laws birthday. There's a lot of shit goin on. This stuff supposedly lasts 16 hours or so so hopefully I can get some sleep at some point before dinner. Might try to knock out with a couple of Soma

 

[Esperighanto]

I wouldn't "refuse" to try MDMA. It's an insanely valuable drug. It just has to be taken at the proper set and setting. My ideal set and setting for MDMA is at home with 1 or 2 close friends. People who you trust. I have also had valuable solo MDMA experiences. It is a very fun club drug but can lead to over sharing details about your life but in a proper environment, that urge to share is insanely therapeutic. I've seen it save someones life before.

My most serious suicide attempt in my life was while I was on 5-MAPB. I had been experiencing Schizophreniform due to pyrovalerones, paranoia surrounding my roomates judging me for my sexuality (I was struggling with my homosexuality and hadn't come out yet). Just felt like a freak and that no one would love me. Serotonin plays a role in fear so a flood of it means no fear. I gummed a fingerful of Diclazepam, swallowed a bottle wellbutrin and shot up 100mg of morphine. Luckily I survived cuz I would have died over stupid delusions that people wouldn't love me because I was gay. Turns out I am gay and they do all still love me. Drugs are wild

As for my nightly fix:
1mg Buprenorphine
40mg 3,4-MDPCP insufflated

I probably shouldn't have done the 3,4-MDPCP tonight but I said fuck it. I've been stressed over writing my grandfathers eulogy that I'm going to read at his funeral in a week. I have tomorrow off of work but have to go to dinner with my dad and siblings to celebrate my birthday, fathers day, and my brother in laws birthday. There's a lot of shit goin on. This stuff supposedly lasts 16 hours or so so hopefully I can get some sleep at some point before dinner. Might try to knock out with a couple of Soma

I'm glad you found acceptance in your sexuality, I came out when I was 15 and where I'm from, nobody cared at all. The only changes were that my straight friends started occasionally asking me how outfits looked, things like "Should I wear these shoes or those shoes with this fit?".

How did the MDPCP treat you?

 

[SuperPsych]

I'm glad you found acceptance in your sexuality, I came out when I was 15 and where I'm from, nobody cared at all. The only changes were that my straight friends started occasionally asking me how outfits looked, things like "Should I wear these shoes or those shoes with this fit?".

How did the MDPCP treat you?

Can always count on a gay guy to give an honest opinion on an outfit lol

And the 3,4MDPCP treated me well. I was actually able to sleep not long after dosing but it took 1500mg carisoprodol, 15mg Mirtazapine and 2 bags of Chamomile tea. Its fairly manic but not very intense. Played some Oblivion after working on my grandfathers eulogy and household chores. Woke up today and did about 30mg to go out into town with my family. Celebrating My Birthday, Father's Day, and My brother in-laws birthday. I'm pretty excited. My dad is about to find out that hes gonna be a grandpa. My sister is pregnant with her first child. I'm gay so he's not getting any grandkids from me and my brother is in a long distance polyamourous relationship. An exciting day for the family. My brother and I have known for a few weeks but she wanted to wait until today to tell my father

 

[Mushoku_Sensei]

I wouldn't "refuse" to try MDMA. It's an insanely valuable drug. It just has to be taken at the proper set and setting. My ideal set and setting for MDMA is at home with 1 or 2 close friends. People who you trust. I have also had valuable solo MDMA experiences. It is a very fun club drug but can lead to over sharing details about your life but in a proper environment, that urge to share is insanely therapeutic. I've seen it save someones life before.

I read that mdma was used for clinical studies in therapeutic setting to help patients open up more. But save some ones life?
Friday night's dose was too much ofc but I'm confident now I can ride it out no matter what. And I'm going to be the one riding this bike iykwim. If a drug were to take over and make me overshare it could damage me big time, seriously, especially since I got this deep into drugs. My life ain't no therapeutic setting so I might actually lose my job, economic base and possibly even the kids. That's not just paranoia. And in that case it would mean suicide fs.
One's medicine is another's poison..

Also glad you found acceptance. That's a real blessing.

PS: strange enough I had no physical WD all day yesterday (mood was suicide bay though ) so all I did was boof 40 mg K at night. Hadn't done any in a while, so that was felt and then just put myself to bed..

 

[SuperPsych]

I read that mdma was used for clinical studies in therapeutic setting to help patients open up more. But save some ones life?
Friday night's dose was too much ofc but I'm confident now I can ride it out no matter what. And I'm going to be the one riding this bike iykwim. If a drug were to take over and make me overshare it could damage me big time, seriously, especially since I got this deep into drugs. My life ain't no therapeutic setting so I might actually lose my job, economic base and possibly even the kids. That's not just paranoia. And in that case it would mean suicide fs.
One's medicine is another's poison..

Also glad you found acceptance. That's a real blessing.

PS: strange enough I had no physical WD all day yesterday (mood was suicide bay though ) so all I did was boof 40 mg K at night. Hadn't done any in a while, so that was felt and then just put myself to bed..

Yeah, MDMA is strong enough to save someones life. Kinda torn up by it at one point. My best friend at the time who opened up to me about some abuse he received as a kid. Super bright kid. Intelligent and funny but he had a dark side. He became a serial killer but luckily he died before he had too many victims. Torn up because the roll I had with him saved his life at the time. He said he had planned on killing himself that month but the roll enabled him to open up to us about his abuse. But he went and killed a few people afterwards. I almost wish I didn't roll with him then and maybe there'd still be a few more people around

 

[Mushoku_Sensei]

Yeah, MDMA is strong enough to save someones life. Kinda torn up by it at one point. My best friend at the time who opened up to me about some abuse he received as a kid. Super bright kid. Intelligent and funny but he had a dark side. He became a serial killer but luckily he died before he had too many victims. Torn up because the roll I had with him saved his life at the time. He said he had planned on killing himself that month but the roll enabled him to open up to us about his abuse. But he went and killed a few people afterwards. I almost wish I didn't roll with him then and maybe there'd still be a few more people around

Jeez ... Wow. .. I don't know what to say...