Maybe there is. Maybe we do not seek this as much as other shit? idk
It's fundamentally a relationship thing. Being so longterm homebound, it's abnormal, and make having my own space a non option.
No travelling, holidays, even outings, with so much pain and stress for both myself and my astrologically polar opposite mum who I really can't live with with this level of nerve sensitisation.
The situation needs a serious hack. Tripping serves as a useful tsunami of an escape but only really exacerbates the conditioned panic state in the medium run.
Totally wrecked still today. So so Tired, but have managed all allergies.
Trying to wake off a 5 mg Etiz dose I took earlier, thinking returning to bed was wiser than exposure to reality.
Then changed mind lol. Just need a shower now.
I need drugs! Strong coffee maybe post shower, then perhaps some good weed.
When I wake up a bit, kava most likely.
But, I may feel no alternative post shower than a return to bed. I'm really fighting it now, just don't fancy it that's all.