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What Was YOUR Morning Fix? v. Special K and Weedies

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~2.5mg brom
3g kratom (get the ice water lol )¹
some flowersome
d8 eddibles
some cbd eddinlez
coupla sluigs of thai plumb wine

workin on sorthing else....
 
Sativa weed + strong black coffee, washed and dry, mega tripped up.

First weed in hours. An abyss between.
 
Had my morning brew of

16mg Suboxone
30mg Vyvanse
5mg Aripiprazole
100mg Hydroxyzine

Then I went in for doctors appointment, my Suboxone doctor now claims that she "can't prescribe me suboxone" since I'm taking Vyvanse now. First they refuse to up my dose, and now they basically kick me out on some bogus bullshit. They can't say that I can't have both my ADHD and my addiction treated, it's horse shit.

Luckily I've already got set up to see a different doctor, one that's not a puritanical bullshit peddler.
 
16mg Suboxone
30mg Vyvanse
5mg Aripiprazole
50mg Hydroxyzine

Sitting down to a bowl of cereal, thinking about what I want to do today before work. Probably watch a little bit of the wire and play some civilization 6 on the laptop.
 
1.3g phenibut hcl
5g kratom (2 doses)
coffee
cigs

no benzo this morn see how we do.... ;)
In somehow cos my ultra high panic state was screaming for up to 25 mg's a day, if I got it right and didn't amnesia an extra dose, only took 11.7 & 13.3 mg's Etiz last two days.

I've little idea how! Still absolutely headwrecked from time and spaceless DMT level Acid tripping.

Need a week to regather now. That stuff is mindblowing. No words for it.
 
I understand this very well.
We get through this. We do.
Yes so far. But I can't help feel it will kill me one day.

My nerves physically atm are literally dangerously oversensitised to specific and therefore general environmental stimuli. My mum number 1.

Recent excessive acute stress, trauma and resultant conditioning. It needs treating physically first, as well as any therapeutic avenue to seek.

Starting mext week.

Somehow, Im not really losing weight despite bately eating. So that's the main thing.

Comfortably over 63 kg's.

I feel I could drop to 50 minimum, not 49 though.

Next week, my digestive system will be rebooted, all organs and bodily systems currently fully non functional directly from high stress, even my Tinnitus went from 1-10 from stress alone.

From an overly agitated nervous system.

This specialist can also treat emotional trauma too.

Just gotta get there.
 
Get there.
Love always
Check how tripped out I got yesterday, vs a day and 12 hour sleep on lol.

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Maybe there is. Maybe we do not seek this as much as other shit? idk
It's fundamentally a relationship thing. Being so longterm homebound, it's abnormal, and make having my own space a non option.

No travelling, holidays, even outings, with so much pain and stress for both myself and my astrologically polar opposite mum who I really can't live with with this level of nerve sensitisation.

The situation needs a serious hack. Tripping serves as a useful tsunami of an escape but only really exacerbates the conditioned panic state in the medium run.

Totally wrecked still today. So so Tired, but have managed all allergies.

Trying to wake off a 5 mg Etiz dose I took earlier, thinking returning to bed was wiser than exposure to reality.

Then changed mind lol. Just need a shower now.

I need drugs! Strong coffee maybe post shower, then perhaps some good weed.

When I wake up a bit, kava most likely.

But, I may feel no alternative post shower than a return to bed. I'm really fighting it now, just don't fancy it that's all.
 
Around 100mg fmodafinil
Coffee
18mg Nic vapes
825mg Magnesium (weird amount but that’s what the bottle says lol
160mg SR Propranolol
120mg Fexofenadine
More coffee haha
 
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