What the hell happened to me last night?

[MrFister]

Hey all, last night I had a really dark experience with 2c-e and mxe. From 4-6 pm I dosed 15 mg sublingual mxe, and I laid down to enjoy some music at around 620. I gave up on holing around 7pm, and decided to weigh out 8 mg of 2c-e and blow it (god knows why I decided 2c-e would spice up my drug night). I'm moderately experienced with psychedelics, a veteran of maybe 7 years, and I'd personally used this combo before for very, very intense, yet enjoyable experiences. I laid down immediately after blowing the 2c-e and changed the album to Nothing Lasts by shpongle, and grabbed my very comforting stuffed sheep in case of slightly "frightening" moments. I noticed my palms were far more sweaty than usual. About two minutes in shit starts to go very wrong. Music rang out and sounded just so so wrong, it was far too intense and grating to listen to, and it felt like I couldn't breathe. I ripped the earphones out of my ear, sat bolt right up in bed (still clutching my stuffed animal to my chest), and this is where the trip takes the darkest turn i've ever experienced in my life.

Ambient noises in my house magnified in my head, and soon panic took over my body. I started hallucinating sirens, and fire burst from the walls. My eyes darted across the room back and forth while time slowed to non-existence. I saw my room with a crimson tinge which incited a sort of rage in me, right when time skipped a few seconds to me standing in the center of my room not knowing who, where, or what I was. My thoughts, visuals, senses, reality was trapped in recursion and it took everything I had to even bring out a new thought from my own consciousness. I barely existed anymore, and I thought I had been possessed by a malevolent spirit. My first thought I could muster was that I had just triggered one of a: dissociative fugue, bad trip, psychotic break, or a mixture of two, or all. The next thought I had was to stagger right the fuck to my drug bin and take a benzo. It took my fifteen seconds to realize i'd have to move my body over to the kitchen. I barely had enough control over myself as I shuffled bent haggard the 20 feet there. 1 mg etizolam down the hatch, which didn't help for close to 45 minutes. But I managed to calm myself down a bit more, albeit while still hyperventilating and doing my best to stay calm. I eventually settled down with some calming music, and had a very spiritually empowering night with non-intense music.

But still, I have never experienced anything like feeling possessed. Needless to say I'm staying away from psychedelics for a while.

Overall trip 7/10. Worst fucking fright experience was a 2/10. I'm sure someone else would have liked it

 

[zn13bt]

That's terrible. I've had dissociation like that (though nowhere near as intense) on 2C-E alone, which is why I don't use it anymore.

 

[Bagseed]

things like that happen, because tripping depends on set and setting very much. also there might have been an error while weighing the 2C-E, thus unexpected intensity?

 

[Solipsis]

Man, sounds awful! Sometimes a trip really does feel nerve-grating or like sensory overload and it can be a subtle mix of elements causing it that we may never really get a grip on.
I'm tempted to say such is the fickle nature of consciousness sometimes but typically it isn't as unstable. This can be an unfortunate runaway-like effect similar to vicious circles IMO. Sometimes you realize your situation is a set of negative factors that all synergize at your expense.
Putting the breaks can sometimes be pharmacologically justifiable for that reason. I think there are at the very least or base 2 types of 'bad trip' scenarios that can unfold: the type where basically everything is going fine but you are mentally anxious, getting worked up about subtle thing until you are projecting yourself into a negative mindspace. This is the most typical kind that beginning trippers fear because it is mostly about learning to control your own mind and it's dimensions including the emotional dimension.
But there is also this other insiduous path where certain factors (mostly those where a compound is taken with certain negative significance -unbeknownst to the taker-) conspire against you. These factors run together producing a sort of unintentional synergy,by then it can get away from you and normal "bad trip" tactics do not work anymore because there is a lot more going on than just the power of your interpretation.

 

[[éS]Infinite]

I've had something similar occur during a combination of MDMA and Ketamine several years ago, which unfortunately did not result in a spiritually empowering trip, but instead I felt it was necessary to cease use of psychoactives until I could again feel comfortable with them (over a year).
Essentially how it played out; I was out all night on MDMA, and upon returning home, I decided to add a bit of ketamine to top off the night. That happens, and I go on to play some music (coincidentally it was a Shpongle album) and lay back. Well, the anticipated trip never came, but instead a natural disaster of sorts was playing out in my dark, placid bedroom; hallucinations of winds roaring, thunder sounding, lightning striking, as well as disorientation so severe I had no sense of direction and could not tell if I was laying on the ceiling, wall, or floor, despite still being able to see my bedroom (albeit through the hallucinated natural disaster). All the while I am completely dysphoric, dry-heaving, sweating, headached and generally panicked. The trip itself was not insightful, just nerve-grating as already stated. However it paved the way for a much more apprehensive and careful approach to psychoactives, though I suspect Solipsis is correct and these events can not be avoided if the circumstances they occur under are unknown to the individual.
And for some reason or another, I have always associated this experience with my complete loss of MDMA "magic"; the compound is now barely enjoyable through the duration of effects, and hugely debilitating the days after. I'd rather have the flu than MDMA.

 

[foolsgold]

its the mxe it does that it gets an evil entity to it for some reason like a sentience of its own normally when you have been using it for a long time or abusing it if you check towards the back of the first mxe thread i said about in there and a few others have had the same thing happen to them .

plus this is a good sign your burning out did that like 18 years ago to much of a good thing time to drop the psychoactive substances for a while or the next one will be even worse

 

[MrFister]

@Solipsis Yeah i've had bad trips before but this was unlike any bad trip i've ever experienced before. I can always reason myself out of a normal bad trip but this was just something else. I'm really thinking that my scale is just getting unreliable, considering I can usually be relied on to handle this combination. I felt trapped in a recursive hell, and became profoundly panicked. By unseen negative factors do you mean accidental over-dosing? Not a clinical overdose mind you, but literally taking more than intended.

@Foolsgold I've honestly been considering taking a break. I don't do drugs often at all, the last time I used this combo being a month and a half ago. I happened to read those posts about mxe as well, and I just found that too vague in meaning to consider at the time. The dark vibe only surfaced after blowing 2c-e, and i've honestly never had such a horrifying experience on mxe alone. At most, I may have had some fearful, angry, or even sorrowful times, but those have always been because of thoughts and events on my mind.

@Infinite That sounds horrible, i'd never think something so emotionally jarring could come from ketamine. Hahaha sometimes shpongle is really just not right for the situation eh?

 

[OrneTTe]

So you did two powerful psychedelics, one of them snorted, and had an very intense unpleasant trip. And you are asking what happened? I wonder...