Opioids what the heck is going on with me

[mtop2036]

Before I start I know how strange this sounds but bare with me.

So i'm on MMT dose is 73mg right now and tapering down more. I've been on this program for almost 2 years now. A little bit before I started MMT I started to these stomach cramps and got bad constipation which obviously common with opiates. Then was getting more depressed and unable to enjoy things. Then I started MMT and things progressively got worse. Constipation was getting really bad, had stomach cramps that would leave me screaming, I would vomit 1-4 times a week, sweeting, mucous in stool some times, feeling week, never feeling hungry even tho I wouldnt eat. Mentally I feel as if not really happy or depressed but just "here". Literally nothing holds even the slightest interest in me. No situation can spark any kinda of feeling in me, no happy, no joy when talking with friends, nothing from TV, nothing from video games, like nothing can make me feel anything. This went on for about a year.

So I went to GI doc and was told I have gastroparisis which is common with opiates especially methadone. So I started tapering on my dose and changed my diet. Physically, the vomiting had stopped and the stomach pains got somewhat better. And I could tell on days when I didnt eat much my methadone would last longer and work better. Almost as if it wasnt being absorbed fully by all the bloackage in my body.

Then about a few months ago I was slipping up on my diet and had horrible constipation, things were real bad and laxitivess, enemmas nothing would make me go to the bathroom for almost a week. Went to the hospital, they told me drink magnesium citrate which is just a strong laxitive.

Also during this time I was taking anitibiotics for a tooth infection, and I swear the anti biotics were giving me some kind of light buzz. I instantly though placebo but it lasted with me the whole time I was on them.

This is where the weirdness comes in. I drink the laxitives for about 4 days which work and during this time I exepreicned some strange mental things going on, was feeling dazed, about to pass out at points and just not what I was expecting from drinking laxitves.

Then one morning I woke up planing on drinking more laxitives and I feel like a diffrent person...Literally.

Physically my energy was back, foods tasted better, most stomach issues were gone, I actually felt hunger for the first time in I dont know how long. Mentally I felt as if I was out of the drug fog, I was just like my old self. Happy, things were enjoyable, everything made sense. Like this is the biggest change I have ever exeperiened this major of a change in my self.



The same day I went into MMT like every other day and my methadone got me suuuuuper high. And before I went in I had a huge feeling this was going to happen.

And from that moment on I knew every day I continue to take methadone at that dose atleast that I would slip back into feeling how I did. It ended up taking the clinic over a month to get my taper started And I was right, literally everyday I took the methadone since that first day it got me loaded I could feel myself slipping back into the same mental state. And after about 4 weeks I felt just as if had never happened.


So I though If I drank the laxitives again I would be brought back to mind set. And after 3 days the change didnt happen, maybe I needed another day but I gave in from wanting to eat so badly.

My question is how could clearing out my stomach bring out such a change in me? I would do almost anything to get back like that, I felt normal again like I hadnt even touched drugs. Or maybe it wasnt the laxitives, maybe it was the antibiotics curing some virus or parasite in my stomach.

I have to get myself back to feeling like that. I am going crazy in my current state and dont want to be stuck like this. Has anybody ever heard of something like this? I know it sounds crazy but I cant live the rest of my life like this.

Thanks

 

[RTrain]

Hmmm...my only thought is you were so constipated and had so much toxic build up in your colon that when it finally cleared out the difference was so profound it made you feel like a new person. You really just felt what a normal healthy person should feel like, but its a matter of perspective, because in relation to how you had been feeling it was night and day. In that case the only way to get back that feeling is to feel as bad as you had prior to it, which is not suggested because its bad for your health to be that constipated.

 

[mtop2036]

Hmmm...my only thought is you were so constipated and had so much toxic build up in your colon that when it finally cleared out the difference was so profound it made you feel like a new person. You really just felt what a normal healthy person should feel like, but its a matter of perspective, because in relation to how you had been feeling it was night and day. In that case the only way to get back that feeling is to feel as bad as you had prior to it, which is not suggested because its bad for your health to be that constipated.

I thought about that as a possability as well, and I really hope thats not the case since it would not only be hard to do again but unhealthy as you as said.

Does anyone else have any ideas? Anything. I can't be stuck like this.

 

[Blind Melon]

I used to vomit almost daily on Methadone, but it was only a coincidence, it was a result of my extreme anxiety. Also, it's not good to take Methadone on an empty stomach or to take it and then smoke a cigarette before eating anything. Keep that in mind.

 

[opi8]

Maybe they were tapering you off the methadone without your knowledge, or they acidentally screwed up the dose? Is it possible that you went through withdrawals, started to feel better and then became addicted again?

^ Why is it a bad idea to have methadone on an empty stomach and/or smoke after drinking methadone? What is the science behind this? It's the first I've heard and it scares me, because I can't eat unless I've had my medicine, and I smoke like a chimney because, well, I'm useless.

 

[mtop2036]

Maybe they were tapering you off the methadone without your knowledge, or they acidentally screwed up the dose? Is it possible that you went through withdrawals, started to feel better and then became addicted again?

^ Why is it a bad idea to have methadone on an empty stomach and/or smoke after drinking methadone? What is the science behind this? It's the first I've heard and it scares me, because I can't eat unless I've had my medicine, and I smoke like a chimney because, well, I'm useless.

My clinic dosnt do blind tapers so that couldn't be it.

Could things like 5htp possibly help me?

I take it most don't feel this empty on methadone or atleast mmost at my clinic are like normal people in this sense.
how do you guys feel mentally on methadone?

 

[Toz]

Constipation was the main reason I got off methadone and on buprenorphine instead. I never got constipated much from other opiates but methadone seemed to be death of my GI tract.

 

[mtop2036]

Well for those of you on methadone how do you mentally?

 

[bunge]

The 5-htp could be a good idea and it likely wont do any harm anyway.
Serotonin is responsible for regulating proper movement in the intestinal tract, as well as general mood (amongst many other bodily processes) so giving your body some extra serotonin could be the best treatment.
I would trial it for two weeks (along with your special diet) and see if theres any improvement.

 

[opi8]

I drink a couple tablespoons of 100% psyllium husk fiber every morning to combat the constipation from methadone. I find it works well, as long as I don't have my methadone too late in the day. Any time before 3pm is usually ok and I'll have a bowel movement the following morning.

Well for those of you on methadone how do you mentally?

Shit mate, depressed and yearning for a shot of heroin the whole time. Methadone is no real replacement, it's more like a fall-back to simply keep the withdrawals at bay until I can get some real drugs that make me feel normal.