What kind of addict am I?

[Jabberwocky]

if it doesn’t apply let it fly

 

[Eligiu]

You will kill me, an internet stranger, if i call you an addict?

Thanks for reinforcing my statement that I think you have some growing to do.

Metaphorically, numbnuts.

Get a grip dude, sorry that you feel the need to attach this label to yourself forever. I don't. I'll be living my drug free life once I solve the issue of my traumatic experiences which drive my use and I'm pretty close to nailing that imminently. I won't need to watch my every step for drugs since I just won't do them. It's happened in the past and it'll happen again.

It's very, very self conscious of you to shove an unwanted label onto someone when it may not actually benefit them. Shows you aren't actually interested in helping them, rather having them conform to your beliefs and opinions.

If someone wants to identify as an addict, fine by me.

If someone doesn't want to, I sure as hell won't push that on them.

I think you could grow up a bit yourself because you're behaving like a teenager who isn't getting what they want.

The above poster said it better than me. If it doesn't apply, let it fly.

Literally in what way does it affect your life, me not identifying as an addict? How are you impacted? You're not.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

Metaphorically, numbnuts.

Get a grip dude, sorry that you feel the need to attach this label to yourself forever. I don't. I'll be living my drug free life once I solve the issue of my traumatic experiences which drive my use and I'm pretty close to nailing that imminently. I won't need to watch my every step for drugs since I just won't do them. It's happened in the past and it'll happen again.

It's very, very self conscious of you to shove an unwanted label onto someone when it may not actually benefit them. Shows you aren't actually interested in helping them, rather having them conform to your beliefs and opinions.

If someone wants to identify as an addict, fine by me.

If someone doesn't want to, I sure as hell won't push that on them.

I think you could grow up a bit yourself because you're behaving like a teenager who isn't getting what they want.

The above poster said it better than me. If it doesn't apply, let it fly.

Literally in what way does it affect your life, me

As I previously said:

I'm not going to call you an addict

 

[Xorkoth]

Just wondering if some of the old heads on here can give me some advice. I'm just wondering what kind of addict I am. Im not necessarily addicted to anything I mostly drink and take gabapentin regularly. But mostly I do anything that will get me high if its around me. Funny thing is I can say no I just like being high on something. Mostly out of boredom pot videogames and beer are my friends. Well anyways what do you guys think?

It's called poly-drug addiction. Where it's not that one specific drug is a particular problem, but drugs/alteration in general. It's often a symptom of an addictive personality in general... maybe when you were younger it was video games, something like that. Polydrug addicts are in danger of truly life-altering drug problems, but it's also possible to moderate it and grow into a healthy relationship with drugs. Personally, I am a poly-drug addict. My drug of choice has moved around and I've had serious problems with various drugs over time. Opiates have been BY FAR the worst for me. If you haven't tried them yet, I would stay far away. In general, stay away from hard drugs. If you stick to weed and psychedelics, you're much more likely to be okay.

Some people only ever like or develop problems with one type of drug... those people can quit that drug eventually and be fine. people like us always have to watch our asses because we have a tendency to take pretty much anything too far if we're not careful.

As a poly-drug addict, you can rotate drugs, and avoid getting physically dependent on any drug for a long time. This creates the illusion of safety. Eventually it will catch up to you. If I were you, I'd work on trying to find other things besides drugs to satisfy you and make you feel fulfilled, and try to keep drugs to something you do sometimes, rather than THE thing you do every day.

After 20 years of drugs, I look back and the only ones I am glad I tried and feel good about continuing to use sometimes are psychedelics. I trip sometimes and it is a good thing for me, and I don't obsess about tripping. Basically everything else, I would have been better off not ever trying. It took a long time for me to develop serious problems, and it took me by surprise when I did, because I thought of the term "drug addict" and my mind showed me images of heroin junkies shooting up, homeless alcoholics, etc. I'm a highly functional addict, who loves all kinds of drugs and can (except for opiates) put any drug down for a while, but I'm still an addict, and I move to something else.

 

[hylite]

I just say thank you God for weed. Drugs are basically not good or harmful from side effects too. Dangerous to function on.
That being said the more pure and natural the drug the safer it is. However drugs must always be used in moderation. Honestly I am
not very interested in very many drugs because of fact that they are not pure and mixed with so many other things and fillers, all adjuncts. Yuk.

My biggest problem in life is one thing. And will be forever for me. Opioid. Not even real opium for godsake. I probably wouldn't be sick from
all of the aspirin to this day if in fact it WAS real opium. So anyway.

Psychedelics on the other hand seem to be kind of a different category or sub section. But I believe those things should be studied
and addressed as a subject. I personally think that they can save the world and society and also the universe for that matter.

I do want to give a shout out to psychedelics when used safely and responsibly, and to be assured the safety and proper quality of life
without repercussion.

Just wondering if some of the old heads on here can give me some advice. I'm just wondering what kind of addict I am. Im not necessarily addicted to anything I mostly drink and take gabapentin regularly. But mostly I do anything that will get me high if its around me. Funny thing is I can say no I just like being high on something. Mostly out of boredom pot videogames and beer are my friends. Well anyways what do you guys think?

 

[AbbeyLee]

You will kill me, an internet stranger, if i call you an addict?

Thanks for reinforcing my statement that I think you have some growing to do.

LOL bitch fight thread!!

 

[Joey]

You're way, way past the experimental or recreational phase and you use regularly and have at least two DOCs listed here. It's only a matter of time, if you keep going down this line of thinking, before you pick up that third piece of the puzzle and maybe even a holy quadrupity

 

[Eligiu]

As I previously said:

Nice work stripping the context away from your quote.

'I'm not going to call you an addict, but if you take drugs more and outside of their medicinal purposes (paraphrase) then there is a word for that'

Yes, removing context from sentences to make oneself look right is fun, but it's always a bit awkward when the rest of the thread is still there. Because you definitely implied it very strongly.

 

[G_Chem]

Your last sentence summarises it all my man. That's you. Not me. I've done a hell of a lot of growing and I've realised the reasons I use drugs. I must, yet again, profusely apologise that they do not fit within your paradigm of experience of substance use. However, all of my treating team and my drug and alcohol counsellors, including the head addiction medicine psychologist at my intensive outpatient programme even told me that I don't have a drug addiction and I'm not an addict. It doesn't have to make sense to you. All that matters is that it makes sense to me and it improves my life, which it already has.

I no longer sit, miserable, after shooting up alone in my room full of shame and self hatred. I accept that my drug use is a direct result of my life experiences and that by being more compassionate to myself, as I have in the past when my substance use issues and my self harm has vanished from my mind only months after the end of a 9 month long almost daily meth and heroin relapse, I can make the decision to not engage in the behaviour.

I've done it before, and I will do it again.

Respectfully, I think its absurd when people tell other people that they need to 'grow up' when they have been using for most than half their life and in recovery for a decent period. You sound no different to the older members of my rehab group who judged me for coming in at 21 and laughed at what they thought my use would be. Was a bit awkward for them when I revealed being an intravenous user while they smoked.

I think it's a far more respectful and intelligent, and considerate thing to do to perhaps understand that people have entirely different experiences which lead them to do different things. I am utterly ecstatic for you that your drug use seems not to be interconnected with trauma. It's a very difficult task to unpack that.

Treating a drug addiction is much easier than treating a behaviour which results from an emotion. Just don't buy drugs, hang out with drug users, or do drugs. How do you work with someone to process whatever experience is causing them to want to punish themselves or another self injurious behaviour?

I've dealt with addiction. My attitude towards opiates would border on being such. However, my use of any other drug would not. And I find it absurd that you can state that you think *I* am the one with growing to do, when you ended your comment with 'in my experience this is what happens to me'

Yes well in MY experience, I don't have a drug addiction because I'll stop, and just swap something else in instead. My life, not yours.

Call me an addict I'll end you man, get your shame filled special lingo away from me. I will recover after a period of time. I've even told my close friends that if I am still identifying as an 'addict' after 5 years sober they have my express permission to shoot me in the head because I would consider myself (not another person) utterly ridiculous to do that and I would move the hell on with my life.

Lol I’m curious to know how exactly you’d “end him”?

So we’re supposed to tip toe around your feelings but when you make threats it’s all jokes.

-GC

 

[Mureceptor]

I think you probably need to find a hobby which interests and engages you, lest you fall into the gloomy pit of despair which is a life of substance use for no other reason than nothing better to do.

Definitely not the worse reason to use drugs and not the most self destructive by any means.

But not conducive to a productive and meaningful life.

Also, dont get caught up on referring to yourself as an addict. I've had a IV meth and heroin/opiate habit on and off for 6-7 years plus a decade prior to that growing substance use issues during my teen years and I would never refer to my situation as a drug addiction or myself as a drug addict. I have a behavioural addiction to being self destructive and drugs are a conduit to this goal. It's why I substituted other just as self injurious behaviours in place of drugs when need be, and whyi can go long stretches without touching any drugs.

Being referring to and calling myself an addict made me think I would never get better. I will, once I get to the bottom of my issues. Because as the rehab counseller said, 'you don't have a drug problem, you have a life problem'

I almost certainly have a substance use disorder, but almost definitely not an addiction.

Food for thought. I don't like the idea of being 5 years sober and still referring to myself as an addict.

I have not had a drink in 32 years, but I am still an alcoholic.

 

[Eligiu]

I have not had a drink in 32 years, but I am still an alcoholic.

For some people the label helps. I find it the opposite of useful.

I've told my friends if I so much as indicate that I'm still identifying as an addict after 5 years of sobriety they have my permission to end my misery as I will undoubtedly be miserable. I'm moving on. When I had periods of a drug free life with zero cravings or urges only months after full blown addiction due to being in a different environment I did not consider myself an addict and none of the people around me knew I had a history. I liked that. I was just a guy who happened to not drink.

I don't need a special label to remind me that I will never have a functional or healthy relationship with substances. But I won't be waking up after 5 years sober making my addict identity a priority. It actually isn't a positive thing for me to want people to know about. I'm all for others if theyre proud and happy to advertise it, but I actually don't love people knowing I'm a little junky, due to the stigma tied to injection drug use.

I don't consider myself an addict anymore. I was heavily addicted in 2016-2017 at my worst before rehab then I basically had no issues moving forward more or less with my main drugs of choice for several years. In December I started using again but I've restricted my use to once a week or once a fortnight X amount and I don't break that limit. One of my friends from the forum here hassled me a bunch about my meth use until he read an account I wrote of my life while addicted and he went 'fuck man you really were heavily addicted and your use now is negligible' and I'm like 'yeah it's why I'm unconcerned I told you.'

I just don't have an addiction anymore. If I did, I'd be selling myself for drugs like I used to. Selling all my possessions. Not paying rent. Stealing. Instead, I bought an expensive new games console weeks after buying another one, and I'm moving into an expensive 2 bedroom apartment in the city centre at almost double my prior rent, knowing that the increase in cost will naturally extinguish my drug use as I never miss rent.

It just doesn't fit for everyone.

 

[Mureceptor]

You keep writing Novellas rationalizing your drug use as not that of an addict. You can't turn a pickle back into a cucumber. You have my sympathy and I wish you good luck.

 

[yubacity]

I think you're on the slippery slope to life changing addiction/dependence issues.

Sorry, but you asked...

So true thats how it starts like the feeling wanting it everyday next thing is its got you by the balls

 

[jasperkent]

...Trust me nobody takes one hit of crack and walks away. NOBODY.

I certainly can. I like all kinds of drugs, including powder cocaine. But I HATE crack.
Waste of time and money. Gimme something that lasts more than 5 minutes.

 

[yubacity]

This place will give it to you straight thats why i think recovering addicts make the best counselors they see through the games we play in our heads that make us think we got it under control. Sometimes the truth hurts i hope you not an addict its just experimentation just stop all use and see what happens if you good thenyou are not an addict try it for a month first

 

[yubacity]

I certainly can. I like all kinds of drugs, including powder cocaine. But I HATE crack.
Waste of time and money. Gimme something that lasts more than 5 minutes.

Take a really big hit and leave it for half an hour thats always our plan when on crack and we only spend 100 quid each what really happens is you just keep hitting it thats why i prefer the 90ss crank i used to do the buzz lasts much longer and it better for sex or wanking

 

[LucidSDreamr]

I certainly can. I like all kinds of drugs, including powder cocaine. But I HATE crack.
Waste of time and money. Gimme something that lasts more than 5 minutes.

Sounds like your crack was not great.

I quit crack easily when I decided I hated the up and downs and dangerous effects on my heart mixed with pills.

The rush of good crack is what crack is. And it is the top physical euphoria rush of all drugs and I am not a stim guy at all. I'm a former IV opipid user and give crack its credit as the #1 rush....the rest of the high sucks as you well pointed out.

 

[jasperkent]

Sounds like your crack was not great.

I quit crack easily when I decided I hated the up and downs and dangerous effects on my heart mixed with pills.

The rush of good crack is what crack is. And it is the top physical euphoria rush of all drugs and I am not a stim guy at all. I'm a former IV opipid user and give crack its credit as the #1 rush....the rest of the high sucks as you well pointed out.

Well, I tried it 4 or 5 times and the experienced users I was with thought it was great. I guess I just prefer longer-lasting highs. When I was drinking heavily I had some friends who were crack whores. I'd give them a hundred or so bucks just to hang out with me while I drank and they hit the pipe. No sex involved. They LOVED me!

 

[yubacity]

Sounds like your crack was not great.

I quit crack easily when I decided I hated the up and downs and dangerous effects on my heart mixed with pills.

The rush of good crack is what crack is. And it is the top physical euphoria rush of all drugs and I am not a stim guy at all. I'm a former IV opipid user and give crack its credit as the #1 rush....the rest of the high sucks as you well pointed out.

Not really brother ive had great crack from great coke i still think a massive crank line the best buzz ive had euphoria wise but a big hit of crack is brilliant the first hit you put your head back hold it in that rush oh fucking boy what should i do i got a quarter of coke a lucozzade bottle foil bi carb water no fags for ash need to go get that and got some brown.It seems like its destined for me to some crack in my garage away from wife and wank to some porn will go get fags . I never touch coke when i on my own but will some crack somke it then some brown and i stop chasing it

 

[Mureceptor]

When I was younger I used to bodyguard a very smart guy who made ice....the purest meth ever. Once I tried that BOOM, never touched coke again. Ice is sooo much cleaner and more euphoriating. It also brought me down faster than anything, ever. It took about 6 weeks to become a full blown addict. Have not touched that stuff in 25 years, it would probably kill me now. 46 years of bodybuilding and 17 of martial arts arts and I live with constant pain. I never turned pro in either endeavor but came pretty close. I use Kratom, but am scared snitless of getting addicted. At first I did not see how Kratom could be addictive, then I came to this forum and read that in fact many have gotten addicted, it is a simple matter of giving the Mu receptors a regular hit. I need shoulder surgery and hip replacement and have other injuries that are even more painful. I am still this massive bodybuilder, but inside all these muscles is a pretty broken down nearly 60 year old body. I currently train 2 on one off, on my off days I can manage the pain. It only hurts when I move, LOL.

Today was my third day training in a row, but since I used Kratom for 2 days straight (10 grams in the evening) I cannot use any today. Some feel even a 2 on 1 off schedule can lead to Kratom addiction. I also have Tramadol, which I actually do not like at all. Nonetheless, from what I have been told on this board, if I take Tramadol today it will stimulate the Mu receptors just like Kratom or a full on opioid. Therefore I am just going to have to deal with he pain today. However, it could be worse, much worse.