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What is your 'raison d'etre?'

F.U.B.A.R.

F.U.B.A.R.

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May 12, 2010
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Laughing at the laughing stock of the world
I realise this might sound morbid, but really it's not - however, it does provide an insight into my obsession with drugs and my inability to gain satisfaction from a 'normal' existence.

When I was 9 years old, we moved from a big city to a house in the middle of nowhere. I had already been reading encyclopaedias for several years - fascinated by astronomy and physics. Now I could suddenly see the stars and needed to know if we had a connection.

Although I've never considered myself 'religious' in the traditional meaning of the word, I've always had a desire to know what happens 'beyond'.

I'm not daft enough to force an early demise, but sometimes I feel that life gets in the way of the ultimate knowledge. I realise that it's also the ultimate gamble, but imagine if it pays off...!!

I guess what I'm really saying is that if I'm honest, I believe that my drug use is simply a distraction to get me through 'life' as easily and quickly as possible until the next phase when I hope to discover the 'truth'.

Fuck, I really DO need some drugs...
 
I've also struggled to find a raison d'etre; moving from one shitty job to another, which only made bearable when i was working with pleasant, non judgemental colleagues, and if i was very lucky some of them were very funny too. The last few years ive been in and out of work, cannot bring myself to do more of the same type of work, but its not gonna be easy to start again in something new, as everyone wants someone with relevant experience.

Paying off my mortgage gave me a concrete goal which i liked having, other than that ive had none. 8o

I dont think there is any reason for existence, its just a fluke of circumstances, so you might as well enjoy it and make the best of it that you can (he says having sat at home for the best part of 6 months and not woken up until 3pm today) as it will fly by even more quickly for those that have reached middle age.
 
mydrugbuddy said:
I've also struggled to find a raison d'etre; moving from one shitty job to another, which only made bearable when i was working with pleasant, non judgemental colleagues, and if i was very lucky some of them were very funny too. The last few years ive been in and out of work, cannot bring myself to do more of the same type of work, but its not gonna be easy to start again in something new, as everyone wants someone with relevant experience.

Paying off my mortgage gave me a concrete goal which i liked having, other than that ive had none. 8o

I dont think there is any reason for existence, its just a fluke of circumstances, so you might as well enjoy it and make the best of it that you can (he says having sat at home for the best part of 6 months) as it will fly by even more quickly for those that have reached middle age.
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Exactly. You have to make the most of what you've got - even if it's shit :\

Also, I don't need a paedophile in a dress to tell me what to believe...
 
It seems to me that most parents worry far too much about their kids, ofc its understandable, and very easy for me to say as im not a parent, but it drives me mad when my parents worry about me, i find it really undermining, i need them to have faith and confidence in me, that would help me much more. Bah but who has such perfect parents as that?

Oh yeah priests and all that, it's no excuse at all but i don't think those vows of celibacy some of them take help matters. If the offending priests etc had normal outlets i'm sure half of the historic abuse would not have taken place.
 
My reason to live is to experience as much as of the tiny infinitesimal range of the Universe my pitiful transient primate physiology will allow.
The Universal Clock will effortlessly render my entire life as so utterly fleeting that I may as well make the absolute most of the subjective wonders while I can still perceive of them.

I will rot, but I will certainly have pushed every biochemical button before I atrophy. :)
 
Sprout said:
My reason to live is to experience as much as of the tiny infinitesimal range of the Universe my pitiful transient primate physiology will allow.
The Universal Clock will effortlessly render my entire life as so utterly fleeting that I may as well make the absolute most of the subjective wonders while I can still perceive of them.

I will rot, but I will certainly have pushed every biochemical button before I atrophy. :)
Click to expand...

Sprout, you have hit the nail on the head - as usual. ;)

Fuck life, bring death (but only when ready ;) )
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
I had already been reading encyclopaedias for several years - fascinated by astronomy and physics. Now I could suddenly see the stars and needed to know if we had a connection.

Although I've never considered myself 'religious' in the traditional meaning of the word, I've always had a desire to know what happens 'beyond'.

I'm not daft enough to force an early demise, but sometimes I feel that life gets in the way of the ultimate knowledge. I realise that it's also the ultimate gamble, but imagine if it pays off...!!

I guess what I'm really saying is that if I'm honest, I believe that my drug use is simply a distraction to get me through 'life' as easily and quickly as possible until the next phase when I hope to discover the 'truth'.

Fuck, I really DO need some drugs...
Click to expand...

Im sorry but i dont believe there's anything beyond, no afterlife, just an eternal nothingness.

We are all connected to the stars and the earth, everything is made of the same carbon buidling blocks, including all living things and huge lumps of circular rocks in the sky. Its a permanent round of recycling those carbon atoms when anyone/anything dies. That offers some sort of solace to me, that at least my ashes, or flesh and bones, will be of some use to the world when i die. Christ this is getting morbid. :o
 
Hedonistic pleasure involving sex, drugs, music and travel. I also see nothing wrong with a good dose of nihilism. Because maybe there is no meaning in those things I listed. But pleasure/enjoyment tops all.

Five years ago I was diagnosed with cancer. You know what cancer is? Boring as the most boring thing ever. It will kill me. In the meantime, like you and your encyclopaedia fascination, I intend seeing as much of the Earth as possible because of the atlases and maps I read as a kid. It's a beautiful world.
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
Yes, that's all very well if you have the resources. However, we are not all that fortunate...
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Fuck all to do with fortunate (and that's an interesting word to use about someone who gets cancer don't you think FUBAR?) I'm working class born and bred, parents died when I was a teenager, never inherited a penny. So don't talk to me about fortunate. I chose to live my life a certain way. Add up what you've spent on alcohol and fags (bit fortunate to have those luxuries aren't you?) and then see how far that could get you around most of the cheapest economies in the world.

Fortunate my arse.
 
My reasons to live come from conversations with those crazy elves. So its basically enjoy as much of this experience as possible. We are here for a good time not a long time. And do no harm to others. Be kind. Help a brother out. Pretty fucking simple really. Oh...and give FUBAR shit whenever possible
 
FWIW I don't want to give FUBAR shit and, coming from where I come from, which is a pretty grotty working class area in the asshole of England, of course I appreciate people's different life chances. I'm glad I was born with a brain I could use and yes, maybe I was fortunate like some others to have been born in a time of free education. And in the UK. But I've used those things to make choices. Not fortune. Here, have my non-existent Jaguar X-type. I have no need for it. And never have.

"We are condemned to be born free" - Sartre. See, told you I had an education. ;)
 
StoneHappyMonday said:
Fuck all to do with fortunate (and that's an interesting word to use about someone who gets cancer don't you think FUBAR?) I'm working class born and bred, parents died when I was a teenager, never inherited a penny. So don't talk to me about fortunate. I chose to live my life a certain way. Add up what you've spent on alcohol and fags (bit fortunate to have those luxuries aren't you?) and then see how far that could get you around most of the cheapest economies in the world.

Fortunate my arse.
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Aah, SHM...why do you see everything as a personal attack? I know I've wasted thousands as a smack/crack head in the past. I also know I'm fortunate enough to have a loving family. However, you do seem to use your cancer as an ammunition do you not? I respect you as the person I think you are and hope I am not disappointed ...
 
StoneHappyMonday said:
Hedonistic pleasure involving sex, drugs, music and travel. I also see nothing wrong with a good dose of nihilism. Because maybe there is no meaning in those things I listed. But pleasure/enjoyment tops all.

Five years ago I was diagnosed with cancer. You know what cancer is? Boring as the most boring thing ever. It will kill me. In the meantime, like you and your encyclopaedia fascination, I intend seeing as much of the Earth as possible because of the atlases and maps I read as a kid. It's a beautiful world.
Click to expand...

Lots of things have happened in those 5 years.

one of my raisons d'etre is to help fix shit -- it's really fucking annoying to me and others -- but I can't help it So.....

Look up high dose intravenous ascorbate therapy. They actually do it in Canada and it has apparently cured many people of otherwise incurable cancers.

Apparently it works by somehow making the cancer cells commit suicide.

Taking vitamin C by mouth can't get the serum level in blood and plasma high enough to work -- but intravenous can.

It's worth a try mate.
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
However, you do seem to use your cancer as an ammunition do you not? I respect you as the person I think you are and hope I am not disappointed ...
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Sorry man but you don't know the half of it believe me. I mentioned cancer in this thread because it heavily influenced my decision to do more travelling before I die. That's not using it as ammunition. You were talking about morbid so I thought it a relevant morbid reality to relate to your post. In the same way I brought up atlases as relevant to you and your encyclopaedias. And believe me, ammunition? You really don't know how my life has changed in the last few years because I don't talk about it. Cancer, for the moment at least, is a long way off being the worst thing in my life.

You used the word fortunate about my circumstances. Without even knowing them. And then it's "cancer as ammunition". Nah, honestly man, sorry. I give up with this place. For trying to relate to your post I get this shit? Not worth it.
 
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