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What is killing your buzz right now?

Thinking about getting a ride from my alcoholic-delirious uncle (whom I pay anyway and have grown to almost hate now) is just anxiogenic.

The fact that I'm jobless, and just have lawn care work for pay and I live in Ohio, so this is a obviously a summer/fall thing only.

Living in Dayton, Ohio is killing my buzz.
 
1 year + opiate or benzo PAWS is ruining my mood today. It should have fucking stopped long ago. I feel like shit and I am fucking angry it never goes away. It feels like I am fighting this invincible monkey on my back every single day.
 
I woke up at 2am, now I have to wait 'til 10:30 to meet my friend that insists we must get drugs so early in the morning, but obviously I'm not gonna say no :P
These plans better work out, our shit always fucks up in some form or other.... -.-

~Verii
 
My man who can't stick to the plan and causes us to be broke before weekend over so tired of doing without so he can run us
out of everything and then he wants me to give him my stash cause i would rather stick to plan than go in withdrawl
 
I have no methadone for tomorrow ( Monday )
I dosed 10mgs less than normal at 12pm And its now 825pm. I'm gonna have to go almost 48 hours without :/ Last time this happened I got really sick by the end of the 1st day. But that was when I just started methadone and was only on 50mgs.
Guess well see what happens. I can do an experiment to see how long my dose holds me. Anything under 100 mgs doesn't hold me a full 24 hours. But since I've been on 100 mgs ( for 1 week now ) I don't wake up sick. I feel normal/fine in the morning now. Damn benzos get me chatty. Guess I just needed to vent?
 
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