Lizziedoll
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2016
- Messages
- 11
Hi everyone,
I posted about this problem in May and 5 months on, I am still suffering. I really need your help, doctors are putting this down to mental health issues, anxiety, but I know it isn't.
I don't want to make this too long so I'll keep it as short and to the point as I can.
I lead a healthy lifestyle (no drugs, alcohol etc) until April this year where I met and fell in love with someone who did a lot of drugs. For about six weeks I would do coke with him about once a week, I would take half a gram each time so not a huge amount. The first couple lines I would feel great but as the evening went on I'd start to feel paranoid, withdrawn, anxious etc. The following day I would have a bad comedown and I noticed I would have visual problems like sensitivity to light, problems with perception, mild cognitive problems, snow vision etc. I didn't think much of it as it always went away. However on May 15, which was the last time I used coke or any type of drug, I met him totally sober and within half an hour did 2 or 3 shots of alcohol and did a couple of lines of coke. The high I felt was crazy, I felt so good, happy, ecstatic etc. We had a great night and woke up feeling fine. Around midday the following day I started feeling disconnected suddenly, started having major cognitive problems (short term memory loss, floaters in visual field, extreme light sensitivity), I would get crazy déjà-vu (example i can give you is walking down a familiar road and feeling I am not moving forward, I mean I can see and feel that I'm walking but the end of the road seem to stay at the same faraway distance) and what I discovered was depersonalisation (constantly). Also my pupils were constantly very dilated although that subsided after a few days/weeks. I didn't freak out at first and put it down to a comedown or tiredness but five months on, all these symptoms are still there. Over the months I've had numerous blood tests, a brain scan (I initially thought I'd had a small stroke or aneurysm), and an eye test. None of those showed any problem, except for the eye test which initially showed blisters at the back of my eye but a follow up showed those had gone? Every doctor has put this down to the drug having "triggered something psychological that was dormant" etc but I really believe this is bullshit. I am pretty sure this is neurological or physical at least and that whatever that drug was or was laced with did physical damage to me. It was sold to my boyfriend as coke but our friend thought he tasted something in it "maybe mephedrone". I just want to point out that 3 of us took it that night and no one else was unwell afterwards. I have a history of stress, depression, anxiety but I have never in my life experienced any of this. I can live with the visual problems, however distracting and horrible they are but the depersonalisation is constant and is driving me insane. I truly feel trapped in my own head and I fear I will never snap out of it and experience "reality" again. Does anyone have any idea what the fuck has happened to me? I really need help. Thank you
I posted about this problem in May and 5 months on, I am still suffering. I really need your help, doctors are putting this down to mental health issues, anxiety, but I know it isn't.
I don't want to make this too long so I'll keep it as short and to the point as I can.
I lead a healthy lifestyle (no drugs, alcohol etc) until April this year where I met and fell in love with someone who did a lot of drugs. For about six weeks I would do coke with him about once a week, I would take half a gram each time so not a huge amount. The first couple lines I would feel great but as the evening went on I'd start to feel paranoid, withdrawn, anxious etc. The following day I would have a bad comedown and I noticed I would have visual problems like sensitivity to light, problems with perception, mild cognitive problems, snow vision etc. I didn't think much of it as it always went away. However on May 15, which was the last time I used coke or any type of drug, I met him totally sober and within half an hour did 2 or 3 shots of alcohol and did a couple of lines of coke. The high I felt was crazy, I felt so good, happy, ecstatic etc. We had a great night and woke up feeling fine. Around midday the following day I started feeling disconnected suddenly, started having major cognitive problems (short term memory loss, floaters in visual field, extreme light sensitivity), I would get crazy déjà-vu (example i can give you is walking down a familiar road and feeling I am not moving forward, I mean I can see and feel that I'm walking but the end of the road seem to stay at the same faraway distance) and what I discovered was depersonalisation (constantly). Also my pupils were constantly very dilated although that subsided after a few days/weeks. I didn't freak out at first and put it down to a comedown or tiredness but five months on, all these symptoms are still there. Over the months I've had numerous blood tests, a brain scan (I initially thought I'd had a small stroke or aneurysm), and an eye test. None of those showed any problem, except for the eye test which initially showed blisters at the back of my eye but a follow up showed those had gone? Every doctor has put this down to the drug having "triggered something psychological that was dormant" etc but I really believe this is bullshit. I am pretty sure this is neurological or physical at least and that whatever that drug was or was laced with did physical damage to me. It was sold to my boyfriend as coke but our friend thought he tasted something in it "maybe mephedrone". I just want to point out that 3 of us took it that night and no one else was unwell afterwards. I have a history of stress, depression, anxiety but I have never in my life experienced any of this. I can live with the visual problems, however distracting and horrible they are but the depersonalisation is constant and is driving me insane. I truly feel trapped in my own head and I fear I will never snap out of it and experience "reality" again. Does anyone have any idea what the fuck has happened to me? I really need help. Thank you