I'm at work now and it's feeling weird. Like my heart is heavy or overworked....kinda don't want to move too fast. Random little aches and pains. Maybe I did some damage
haha man we all share the same stories. This is why stimulants arent as addicting as opiates. It may feel 100x more euphoric, but once the panic attacks/psychosis begins is when you have to stop. two years ago I started abusing coke, then meth, then bath salts. Let me tell you bath salts are the worst drug on the planet. The initial rush is extremely good, like a mix of meth and coke, but short lived. The next days are HELL, its like a living nightmare. I started getting panic attacks on meth after that too. I turned violent sometimes to my parents and stuff and the drug made me really delusional and emotional especially when I did too much accidentally. The aftermath is really depressing. I went to the ER five times over the course of a year due to the panic attacks. Once I started panicking so bad during the comedown I thought i was going to get a heart attack and in the ER my HR was like 150-160, and sometimes my blood pressure would go up to 170/105 and im 22 (21 at the time) so its more dangerous because young hearts arent used to high BP, and the fuckin heart rate monitor would beep every few seconds while I was extremely agitated and hypervigilant. Thinking you are about to die while feeling extremely depressed, delusional and agitated is the WORST feeling a human can feel. One time in the ER I fucking pissed all over myself because I was too scared to get up and pee in the bottle right next to me. I was lying in piss, my parents left the hospital, the nurses treated me like shit because I was on drugs, I couldnt sleep, thought I was going to die the whole time. It was hell. And then guess what. 5 hours later doctor came in and said I got RHABDOMYOLYSIS. yea they had to admit me upstairs after that. They had to wash out my kidneys and IV fluids and other stuff.
Hyperthermia is the most dangerous thing though. Paranoia, once triggered, brings body temperature up. The more paranoid you are, the higher the temperature. Once it gets really high, youre in danger zone. It can cause multiple organ failure. I think I was slighty hyperthermic thats why I got rhabdomyolysis. I think I was close to dying. I told myself after that(this was february of this year) i would never do it again. I ended up doing it one more time with a friend, this trigger me to do it another time after that but I was heavily doped up on benzos. I didnt panic on it because of the benzos, but the aftermath was HORRIBLE. I literally cried during the psychotic nightmares. I was screaming in my sleep and even had to sleep in my parents bedroom because I was delusional(didnt hallucinate though) and having crazy delusions. Then my brain was slowed down for like two weeks, I wasn't thinking in the present. Idk what the hell happened. I recovered after a month though. Never abused a stimulant ever since(4 months clean now)
Dont do stimulants. Risk of sudden death is not worth it. Especially when anxiety levels are cranked up and focus is cranked up. For me I usually only panic during the comedown, maybe im adhd.
Even heroin is better(im not advising it) because its a more controllable drug in terms of dying. Yes ODs can kill, but an experienced user usually rarely ODs. Ive IVed fentanyl and stuff and its hard to OD with a tolerance.