I felt more like I am an existence that has been around for eternity, but looping in and out of "lives", and losing all memory of this "eternity" each time I am "reset".
When in this "eternal mind set" I definitely experience the Deja Vu and Nostalgia at the same time.
...
Now the question is- does this actually have any true meaning or is it purely another aspect of a chaotic trip? There's no telling.
I do believe that my existence on Earth is not an "accident" though.
"an existence that has been around for eternity, but looping in and out of 'lives'"
Very elegantly put.. exactly. Some say the message of the DMT experience is that THERE IS ONLY ONE CONSCIOUSNESS, we are all different "windows" of the same ONE MIND as it looks out into the 3D Time-Bound version of its "body" or maybe its "Dream".
Or perhaps there is a relation to the Hindu vision of reincarnation, and ultimately ALL of reality being 'Maya', some grand illusion being had by ONE primordial God-Mind.
Or perhaps to the Gnostic Christian concept that our Universe is just some sub-reality, governed by a deluded and egotistical god-figure, "The Demiurge", essentially "Jaweh", the God of the Old Testement, that was created sort of accidentally and careened off on its own within the consciousness of Sophia ("Wisdom"), the ultimate godhead, who is really sort of dreaming our universe and all sorts of other ones inside her mind, and is in fact the original eternal primordial "One Mind"
I agree that there is a sense of the "Human Life Passage" being some very important "teaching"experience of some kind.
The similarity of the Salvia Deja-Vu seems just too significant to just be some drug-induced random meaningless thought squiggle... too related to the above and many other "deep thoughts' that cultures and individuals have had throught history.
I've posted this other places before, but I'll re-post it here... to get some more specific reactions.... it is similar in numerous ways to a salvia trip feelings we are discussing, IMO. The first time I saw this on TV, then read to full text, I experienced almost that same uncanny sense of combined nostalgia & Deja-Vu I do on Salvia! Like Twain was somehow, impossibly, putting voice to something I had really known at and since birth, but had since somehow forgotten, of which he was now reminding me:
No. 44, the Mysterious Stranger: Being an Ancient Tale Found in a Jug and Freely Translated from the Jug. , by Mark Twain
Ever since I stumbled across an exquisitely beautiful film version of this simply called "The Mysterious Stranger" on HBO's "After School" film series many many years ago, staring Lance Kerwin and Chris Makepeace, I fell in love with this story.
Be sure to read "Satan''s startling exiting monologue which ends the book, indented below.
Based on all my many LSD, Mushroom, 5-Meo-DMT and Salvia trips, apparently this quirky frizzy white haired cigar smoking smart alec, this Mark Twain, this Samuel Clemens was singularly gifted among all other authors ever to walk the Earth with what I have always intuitively felt since first reading it, was very probably the true explanation for Life, The Universe and Everything.
Its just an amazing thing having been written by that crochety old man so long ago, in his final book before he died, in multiple unfinished versions, that still gives me goosebumps everytime I read it to this very day. Note the connection to altered, drug-induced states of Consciousness, which Twain implies is alcohol, but that I strongly suspect was really some psychedelic he encountered in India or Asia or South America, or the American Southwest, recast as "The Jug" so the vast majority or readers would have SOME comprehension of the state of consciousness from which it arose (and having zero knowledge of "tripping" or "hallucinogens" etc. way back in the early 1900s.
From Wikipedia:
(
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mysterious_Stranger)
The third version, called No. 44, the Mysterious Stranger: Being an Ancient Tale Found in a Jug and Freely Translated from the Jug, returns to Medieval Austria and tells of No. 44's mysterious appearance at the door of a print shop and his use of heavenly powers to expose the futility of mankind's existence. This version also introduces an idea Twain was toying with at the end of his life involving a duality of the "self", one being the "Waking Self" and the other being the "Dream Self". Twain explores these ideas through the use of "Duplicates", copies of the print shop workers made by No. 44. This version contains an actual ending, however the version is not considered as complete as Twain would have intended:
In 1590 a few boys are living happy sheltered lives in a remote Austrian village named Eseldorf. (Esel means "donkey" in German and can refer to a stupid or ignorant person, and "dorf" means village, so in essence it is a village of stupid people.) The story is narrated by one of the boys—Theodor, the village organist's son—in a first-person narrative. One day, a handsome teenage boy named Satan appears in the village. He explains that he is an angel and the nephew of the fallen angel Satan. Young Satan performs several magical feats. He claims to be able to foresee the future and informs the group of unfortunate events that will soon befall those they care about. The boys don't believe Satan's claims until one of his predictions comes true. Satan proceeds to describe further tragedies that will befall their friends. The boys beg Satan to intercede. Satan agrees, but operates under the technical definition of mercy. For instance, instead of a lingering death due to illness, Satan simply causes one of Theodor's friends to die immediately.
Mayhem ensues — witch trials, burnings, hangings, deaths and mass hysteria. Satan vanishes with a brief explanation:
"In a little while you will be alone in shoreless space, to wander its limitless solitudes without friend or comrade forever--for you will remain a thought, the only existent thought, and by your nature inextinguishable, indestructible. But I, your poor servant, have revealed you to yourself and set you free. Dream other dreams, and better!
"Strange! that you should not have suspected years ago - centuries, ages, eons, ago! - for you have existed, companionless, through all the eternities.
Strange, indeed, that you should not have suspected that your universe and its contents were only dreams, visions, fiction! Strange, because they are so frankly and hysterically insane - like all dreams: a God who could make good children as easily as bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every one of them happy, yet never made a single happy one; who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short; who gave his angels eternal happiness unearned, yet required his other children to earn it; who gave his angels painless lives, yet cursed his other children with biting miseries and maladies of mind and body; who mouths justice and invented hell - mouths mercy and invented hell - mouths Golden Rules, and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, and invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none himself; who frowns upon crimes, yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man's acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself; and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites this poor, abused slave to worship him! . . .
You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly creations of an imagination that is not conscious of its freaks - in a word, that they are a dream, and you the maker of it. The dream-marks are all present; you should have recognized them earlier.
It is true, that which I have revealed to you; there is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream - a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought - a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!"