Perplexity
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 19, 2008
- Messages
- 63
So to give you some context, I'd consider myself a drug addict for the last 9 years, from ages 16-25. The first 8 years was primarily cannabis abuse with some coke/adderall/molly binges sprinkled in and lots of beer. The last 1.5 years have been strictly opioids, and the strongest ones on the market. E.g. Global Pharm's 40mg Oxymorphone ER, Purdue's (Canadian) Oxycontin 80's (crushable like the older US ones), tons of 30mg blues, Oxycontin OP 80's and a little heroin all on a daily basis from a local source and the deep web. I came crashing down not because I wanted to stop, but because I couldn't afford them and even resorted to stealing from family members for a while to keep my habit going.
The primary motive for my use was to self-medicate my anxiety. The rush from snorting strong pills was just a bonus, I enjoyed the 3 or 4 hours of tranquility & warmth and the feeling that my anxiety was just melting away as the high went on more than the rush itself. Not to mention things like socializing, eating, working and sleeping all seemed so much easier. And all of this remained true even when I would wake up sick as f*ck if I didn't have anything for the morning. As soon as I ate or snorted something, my day went great even if the euphoria wasn't what it used to be. This stuff works wonders on my anxiety (or whatever it was that cannabis abuse gave me).
As of now I'm off opioids for a week. I can tell physical withdrawals are subsiding and I'm starting to feel normal. And I'm OK with being abstinent because I can't afford that aforementioned year of fun again (which included my own 2013 GLI and an apartment in downtown Manhattan BTW).
Being that I'm fresh off of an opioid addiction, I'm thinking about it a lot, dnd I thought, what if I worked my ass off (as a software developer, which I am) and saved up a bunch of money in a checking account. Let's say $300k to be realistic. That's just what I consider as "not an object" for me. Maybe it's a million for you. But the point is let's say you could always afford opioids, you had scripts, local dealers and the deep web as sources. Do you think someone like me, who is self-medicating a mental health issue, versus shooting up and chasing a rush like some do, would be feasible in the long run?
I seem to be able to work better, socialize better, exercise harder and do just about anything I want. And I'm not just talking about the first few months when the euphoria was at its best, I'm talking till the day I had to stop this was true. Being that opioids seem to make life so much easier for me, I'm thinking of doing something like this. And being in the software industry, saving $300k within 3-5 years isn't unrealistic in my situation. I want to hear what others think and how you may be able relate this question to yourself, and any feedback or wisdom you think may be useful for myself.
Thanks
The primary motive for my use was to self-medicate my anxiety. The rush from snorting strong pills was just a bonus, I enjoyed the 3 or 4 hours of tranquility & warmth and the feeling that my anxiety was just melting away as the high went on more than the rush itself. Not to mention things like socializing, eating, working and sleeping all seemed so much easier. And all of this remained true even when I would wake up sick as f*ck if I didn't have anything for the morning. As soon as I ate or snorted something, my day went great even if the euphoria wasn't what it used to be. This stuff works wonders on my anxiety (or whatever it was that cannabis abuse gave me).
As of now I'm off opioids for a week. I can tell physical withdrawals are subsiding and I'm starting to feel normal. And I'm OK with being abstinent because I can't afford that aforementioned year of fun again (which included my own 2013 GLI and an apartment in downtown Manhattan BTW).
Being that I'm fresh off of an opioid addiction, I'm thinking about it a lot, dnd I thought, what if I worked my ass off (as a software developer, which I am) and saved up a bunch of money in a checking account. Let's say $300k to be realistic. That's just what I consider as "not an object" for me. Maybe it's a million for you. But the point is let's say you could always afford opioids, you had scripts, local dealers and the deep web as sources. Do you think someone like me, who is self-medicating a mental health issue, versus shooting up and chasing a rush like some do, would be feasible in the long run?
I seem to be able to work better, socialize better, exercise harder and do just about anything I want. And I'm not just talking about the first few months when the euphoria was at its best, I'm talking till the day I had to stop this was true. Being that opioids seem to make life so much easier for me, I'm thinking of doing something like this. And being in the software industry, saving $300k within 3-5 years isn't unrealistic in my situation. I want to hear what others think and how you may be able relate this question to yourself, and any feedback or wisdom you think may be useful for myself.
Thanks
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