Mellabopper
Bluelighter
sit down with me
and let me tell you what i've learned
about myself
about life
about survival.
everyone goes through shit
some take it harder than others
some dont take it hard enough.
in these past few days
i think i've had my share.
my whole life i had a dream
was it really mine though?
or just the common dream society told me to want,
my parents told me to want?
either way, it sounded good
and i wanted it
i worked on it
and just yesterday it almost all came crashing down.
there is still a chance it will break.
but if it does not,
there is an even greater chance
that i will break instead.
its hard to have your heroes
disown you,
be ashamed of you.
its hard to let down those you love
and those that love you.
but its impossible to be everything to everyone
and sometimes you have to put yourself first
because this hallow person i'm becoming
is not who i want to be
i've learned that sometimes you have to break down
to see what is really important to you
sometimes you have to lose it all to really see
perception clouded by thoughts
feelings misunderstood
love unreturned
its hard when you love someone
and they dont love you back
and they dont realize how much they mean to you
they just dont care enough
i've learned that everyone must go on though
you have to go through things
experince things you wish you never did
wanting to take the easy way out
but losing yourself in the end
is it worth it?
i'm still not sure
i've learned that no one really wants to be alone
sometimes they're just too scared to admit that they need someone
need anything at all
that they cant do it all by themselves
thats because we're not supposed to
we're human
we need people around us
to hold us up when we break down
i've found that life is truly beautiful
and existence,
though still a mystery,
is amazing.
i've learned that valuing someone,
being there for them at their weakest moment
might save a life
might save a soul.
broken hearts dont mean broken lives
though i have a hard time telling myself this
but most importantly,
what i have learned
is that life is unpredictable
and no matter what
you have to keep on going
no matter how hard it seems
no matter how alone you think you are
no matter how much no one else understands
there will always be one thing that brings you back.
so in the early morning
having found myself again
i dance
because i can.
and at that moment
nothing else matters,
so i dance
for no particular reason at all.
2-11-01
Mellabopper
------------------
animals are for petting!
"does anyone know where we are? because i think i dont have a clue"
"damn the man, save the empire!" - empire records
Corruption is key.
and let me tell you what i've learned
about myself
about life
about survival.
everyone goes through shit
some take it harder than others
some dont take it hard enough.
in these past few days
i think i've had my share.
my whole life i had a dream
was it really mine though?
or just the common dream society told me to want,
my parents told me to want?
either way, it sounded good
and i wanted it
i worked on it
and just yesterday it almost all came crashing down.
there is still a chance it will break.
but if it does not,
there is an even greater chance
that i will break instead.
its hard to have your heroes
disown you,
be ashamed of you.
its hard to let down those you love
and those that love you.
but its impossible to be everything to everyone
and sometimes you have to put yourself first
because this hallow person i'm becoming
is not who i want to be
i've learned that sometimes you have to break down
to see what is really important to you
sometimes you have to lose it all to really see
perception clouded by thoughts
feelings misunderstood
love unreturned
its hard when you love someone
and they dont love you back
and they dont realize how much they mean to you
they just dont care enough
i've learned that everyone must go on though
you have to go through things
experince things you wish you never did
wanting to take the easy way out
but losing yourself in the end
is it worth it?
i'm still not sure
i've learned that no one really wants to be alone
sometimes they're just too scared to admit that they need someone
need anything at all
that they cant do it all by themselves
thats because we're not supposed to
we're human
we need people around us
to hold us up when we break down
i've found that life is truly beautiful
and existence,
though still a mystery,
is amazing.
i've learned that valuing someone,
being there for them at their weakest moment
might save a life
might save a soul.
broken hearts dont mean broken lives
though i have a hard time telling myself this
but most importantly,
what i have learned
is that life is unpredictable
and no matter what
you have to keep on going
no matter how hard it seems
no matter how alone you think you are
no matter how much no one else understands
there will always be one thing that brings you back.
so in the early morning
having found myself again
i dance
because i can.
and at that moment
nothing else matters,
so i dance
for no particular reason at all.
2-11-01
Mellabopper
------------------
animals are for petting!
"does anyone know where we are? because i think i dont have a clue"
"damn the man, save the empire!" - empire records
Corruption is key.
