Speed, as per usual, but as some long term, regular users of base will know, (non methamph uk fast-stuff) sometimes a depression can set in, so you have a double whammy thing going on.
1)You get your cravings, as you feel you need speed to put the life back in you.
2)At the same time as that, you "can't face doing speed today" and this can go on for many days.
I guess I just got used to taking speed for years, and when there was an interruption in supply, and only shitty billy whizz was available, where you need half a gram to get a tickle, the stoppage causes rebound depression.
If this depression sets in deeply, not only do you lose your enthusiasm for your life, by the time the strong shit shows up, (match-head size dollop for 48hrs of speeding) you cannot even be arsed with this.
Speed pissed me off because it wrecked my body and mind, yet it still managed to be a regular part of my week.
Will power is playing no part in this, at all, as I have none, but as the depression and lifelessness is still there, I find I have to watch myself with other drugs as this has been a concern lately.
Contradictory, but there it is.
ps. I always crave weed, but dont want to go back to daily toking as it escalates out of my control.
Ket is a funny one, I only had a very brief dabble with it, having little bumps alone, and enjoying it, but although I only had a little dabble, I felt an overwhelming attachment to it, and sometimes, still get that "OOh, what I would give for a nice bump of ket" feeling now, and its very overhelming.
This tells me, if ket isnt addictive, it certainly has a very compulsive aspect to it.
Weed and speed, in the main, but beneath these is just a plain old psycholical drug dependency issue.
I'm on codeine today, not speed, as I still can't face base, but I have to go out today, and can't face another panic attack.
I get medication, occasional small valium scripts, but I shelved vally for a few weeks.
I have had an apothecary of SSRI type drugs and head meds, but had various harrowing experiences on them, plus, they seemed to make my psychological drug dependency worse in an odd way, even though I left street drugs alone/other pharms while on them.
1)You get your cravings, as you feel you need speed to put the life back in you.
2)At the same time as that, you "can't face doing speed today" and this can go on for many days.
I guess I just got used to taking speed for years, and when there was an interruption in supply, and only shitty billy whizz was available, where you need half a gram to get a tickle, the stoppage causes rebound depression.
If this depression sets in deeply, not only do you lose your enthusiasm for your life, by the time the strong shit shows up, (match-head size dollop for 48hrs of speeding) you cannot even be arsed with this.
Speed pissed me off because it wrecked my body and mind, yet it still managed to be a regular part of my week.
Will power is playing no part in this, at all, as I have none, but as the depression and lifelessness is still there, I find I have to watch myself with other drugs as this has been a concern lately.
Contradictory, but there it is.
ps. I always crave weed, but dont want to go back to daily toking as it escalates out of my control.
Ket is a funny one, I only had a very brief dabble with it, having little bumps alone, and enjoying it, but although I only had a little dabble, I felt an overwhelming attachment to it, and sometimes, still get that "OOh, what I would give for a nice bump of ket" feeling now, and its very overhelming.
This tells me, if ket isnt addictive, it certainly has a very compulsive aspect to it.
Weed and speed, in the main, but beneath these is just a plain old psycholical drug dependency issue.
I'm on codeine today, not speed, as I still can't face base, but I have to go out today, and can't face another panic attack.
I get medication, occasional small valium scripts, but I shelved vally for a few weeks.
I have had an apothecary of SSRI type drugs and head meds, but had various harrowing experiences on them, plus, they seemed to make my psychological drug dependency worse in an odd way, even though I left street drugs alone/other pharms while on them.
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i got the 40 bucks i just need the whip